Good morning and greetings, late summer fans. You know, life is full of surprises and prizes, and I don’t just mean the kind you find in a box of Cracker Jacks. If you keep your eyes open and your wings spread, you never know what you’ll encounter in the the journeys that lie ahead.

So with that thought, let’s go back to last Tuesday, when a light rain and my radio career were falling when I awoke. Since the coast looked drearier than the news I had received the day before, I decided to try and clear my head by walking around my neighborhood. It’s not nearly as exciting as skipping along the edge of the continent, but it does get my heart pumping and that’s just what my psychiatrist ordered.

So with my Steely Dan poncho on my back and my trusty golden companion leading the way, we set off into the mist. What immediately came to mind was a couple of classic Woody Allen lines, “Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable,” and ‘Life is full of misery, loneliness and suffering-and it’s all over much too soon.” Okay, so I was a little down.

But what happened next caught me completely by surprise, as standing not 30 feet away was a large coyote, who was licking his lips like wanted to order something off the menu. Now I’ve partied with a few of these jackals on the westside, and my greatest coyote moment was when I photographed one in the rain outside of Natural Bridges State Park. The amazing thing was that when I first saw him, I was without my camera, so I raced home and luckily when I returned, he was still there, talking to an insurance salesman.

So there he stood, his tan pelt dusted with moisture, eyeing my two legs like a couple of medallions of cocker spaniel. I waited at the edge of the arroyo, hoping for a roadrunner to zoom by so as to distract him from sizing me up like a Yom Kippur appetizer. And after a few minutes, this wily creature trotted down the street and disappeared back into the Animal Planet. I stood there and quietly took my place back at the top of the animal kingdom.

Now early one morning two weeks ago, I watched the movie “Life of Pi,” the story of a boy who is shipwrecked and ends up stranded on a lifeboat in the Pacific Ocean with a Bengal tiger and Cincinnati Bengal’s cheerleader. The film was a visual masterpiece, and the 3D images of fish, waves and clouds were extraordinary. With these images seared in my mind like some ahi tuna, I headed down to West Cliff, and was immediately taken in by the flocks of the birds flying over the water.

In my mind I was back in movie mode, but this was the real thing, and it was fantastic. I then equated the relationship between the boy and the tiger onto my oceanside journey with my golden retriever. While there was not a life and death issue at stake, she can be as dangerous as the big cats if you don’t pet her enough.

Right then a large chain of pelicans came upon us. Now flocks of pelicans flying by are no big deal, but this group seemed to have no end. I immediately started to count, and I gave up when I hit 160. The gathering was at least 200 strong, and I just stood there and watched in amazement as these prehistoric-looking birds kept changing formations and exchanging tweets as they headed north up the coast.

This image marinated in my mind all week, and then last Wednesday, I was back again on West Cliff in search of answers to the question, “Why do bad things happen to people with good hair?” But before I could take a look within, wave after wave of pelicans flew by in formations on their way south. Hundreds and hundreds and hundreds. There was something incredible happening to the south in Monterey Bay, and it wasn’t the combo seafood sliders at Phil’s Fish Market in Moss Landing.

I later learned these fish-loving sea birds were joining an epic number of humpback whales, who were feasting on the massive anchovy blooms in the bay. In an article written by Nadia Drake for wired.com, marine biologist Nancy Black says there were “tons and tons” of anchovies in the area, more than have been seen in years. She spotted one school estimated to be 200 feet deep and more than a mile long by the way Sheryl Crow flies. Black estimated that there were 250 whales in the bay, the most she’s seen in her 26 years in the area, which has provided folks with the best whale watching since the humpbacks left Notre Dame.

And best of all, sports fans, this wild scene with the humpbacks blowing giant underwater bubbles to herd the fish into a bait ball and then go to town was happening right in the giant submarine canyon located in our front yard. It’s nature gone wild on Monterey Bay. I chalk it up to another prize awarded along the journey, but one that requires some dramamine for those of us who aren’t so crazy about the motion of the ocean, if you catch my continental drift.

So for today’s floral display we are heading back to our 50th and most tropical state. My brother Brad joined us on our recent adventure to the Garden Isle, and the home he stayed in had grounds that looked like botanical gardens. The variety of exotic plants were simply amazing, with one flower more vibrant and exotic than the next. But being a simple man, its the basic garden variety plumeria (photo #8) that does it for me. The fragrance of these flowers drives my olfactory system aloha wild. It is the true scent of the islands. Well, either that or Old Spice.

On to the late night humor. “Fox opposes a Syria peace plan because its modus operandi is to foment dissent in the form of a relentless and irrational contrarianism to Barack Obama and all things Democratic, to advance its ultimate objective of creating a deliberately misinformed body politic whose fear, anger, mistrust, and discontent is the manna upon which it sustains its parasitic succubus-like existence.” –Jon Stewart

“You can tell that fall is coming. The leaves are changing faster than the White House position on Syria. “A new survey found Americans clicked on Miley Cyrus stories 12 times more often than stories about Syria and President Assad. Well, that makes sense. Wouldn’t you rather watch a twerk than a jerk?” –Jay Leno “John Kerry has given Syria one week to hand over its chemical weapons. And if they don’t . . . he’ll give them another week.” –Jay Leno

“Secretary of State John Kerry said that Arab countries have offered to pay the entire cost of unseating Syria’s president if we take the lead militarily. They will pay for the whole thing. See, this is how global politics works. We invade Syria to get money from Saudi Arabia that they got from us for putting their oil in our Japanese cars so we can pay back China all the money we owe them.” –Jay Leno

“The United States is going to make a deal with Russia and Syria. What could possibly go wrong? Here’s the deal: Syria will turn over their stockpiled chemicals and we send them Alex Rodriguez. Syria is now saying they will agree to give up their chemical weapons if Miley Cyrus agrees to give up whatever it is she is doing. McDonald’s is now serving steak. Nothing says fine dining like rolling down your car window and screaming out, “medium rare!” – David Letterman

“Today was the primary for mayor of New York City. The city had to use old, lever voting machines from the 1960s because the electronic machines were too hard to program. Of course, it was awkward when Anthony Weiner said, ‘That’s not a lever.'” –Jimmy Fallon “If Christine Quinn wins the New York City mayoral race, she’ll be the city’s first lesbian mayor. Which is why her campaign slogan is, ‘Christine Quinn: as far away from Weiner as you can get.'” –Conan O’Brien

So the final post of summer 2013 is in the books. For all of you Rosh Hashanah fans, I hope the upcoming year will be a sweet one. For New York Giant football fans, you have my severe sympathy.

We’ll catch you doing more than signing autographs and wowing a national audience by throwing for a career-best 464 yards in the loss to number one ranked Alabama. Aloha, mahlao and later, Johnny Manziel fans.

Good morning and greetings, summer days fans. The weather has certainly turned for the better, as the fog and marine layer have temporarily left the building, leaving sports fans with blue skies, warm breezes and a pollen count that’s higher than my cholesterol was after a summer full of Yankee games, Shakespeare in the Park and chocolate Haagan-Dazs bars.

So it was a nice change of pace last Wednesday, when I went for a walk to have it misting on West Cliff. I thought to myself, how many places could it be sunny and warm one day and having this wonderful moisture in the air the next? We are blessed with having relatively mild weather all year round as that’s what you get with a Mediterranean climate-cool, wet winters and warm, dry summers. Santa Cruz, where the redwoods meet the sand, the sea and the homeless.

June has always been a great month on the nature front. On that Wednesday stroll along the coast, my power-walking wife and I saw the usual array of otters, sea birds, and some porpoises or dolphins doing flips into the water. A friend walked by and told us that whales had been spotted cruising up the coast. I thought to myself, how lucky we are to live alongide Monterey Bay, the Grand Canyon of the Pacific. Now, if they could just warm up the water and get rid of that kelp, I might actually put my toes in the water.

So for today’s photo pleasure, we go back to last week, when I performed a reptile rescue just outside of Natural Bridges. I was driving home from a windsurfing outing when I spotted this beautiful snake (photo #1) in the road. I quickly pulled my electric car to the curb and dashed into the street, as this fella was sitting there happily sunning himself, but at the same time in danger of being squished like a slow-running native during an elephant stampede.

For a moment I thought about picking him up, putting him in a basket and carrying him to the sidelines, but when I approached he was curled up and appeared ready to strike, so I decided to play it safe and let him slowly work his way to the sidewalk while I redirected Stevie Winwood and traffic.

Well, in less time than I would take to pop in a Tawny Kitaen Whitesnake video, a woman stopped her car, walked over to the snake, picked him up and brought him over to the grass. She informed me that this was a gopher snake that could be found all over the Wilder Ranch area. Although I was still a bit rattled, she assured me it was safe to take off my catcher’s mask. Still noticing that I was a bit reticent, she queried, “Are you a man or a mouse?” I replied, “Put a piece of cheese in front of me and you’ll find out.”

So in honor of my snake charming experience, I thought I would feature some other westside wildlife. Last week, as we were walking through the Pogonip, I spotted a gorgeous coyote in the meadow. When he turned back to look at me, I was just amazed by the incredible character of his face. Kind of a combination of Yul Brenner and Peter Coyote.

We then ran into some folks who live in the area, who told us they see coyotes all the time, and that at dusk they can be spotted in packs of three to five to seven. Or was it twenty-five or six to four? They then warned me to stay off the path at dusk as the mountain lions hit the trail and with my sinewy muscles and slender physique, I could be mistaken for an antelope or young gazelle.

Due to global warming, I wasn’t carrying my camera on this jaunt so instead I’m showcasing a coyote I spotted last June outside Natural Bridges State Park. It was lightly raining that morning and you can see that his coat was pretty wet (photo #3.) I offered him my poncho but he wasn’t interested. After I had him sign a release, he let me take a few shots before running off (photo #4) and scurrying under a hole in the fence back into the park.

I then photographed that fattest squirrel I’ve even seen, whom I’ll call Jenny Craig. We stopped and talked sports, politics and Oprah. She was a fascinating rodent who spoke three languages and had traveled all over Europe. This little chipmunk was an amazing conversationalist who gave me a whole new perspective on storing nuts for winter.

I shot the great blue heron in pond just north of Natural Bridges. I see these birds all over town, and I spotted one in the ocean on a walk along West Cliff last week. Unfortunately, when I returned with my camera, the long-necked beauty was gone, so we’re going with another contestant. These birds are beautiful to watch in flight, as they move in the same motion that my son Jason does when he’s jump serving. As his mother whispers to him every night before heading off to volleyball dreamland, “good-night and side out, my son.”

On to the late night. “Using electron microscopes, scientists have now discovered the slowest moving thing on Earth. Turns out, it’s the White House responding to the oil spill. BP — they are spending $50 million on an advertisement budget to try and put a PR spin on this whole thing. Like, you hear what they said today? This is unbelievable. They said fishermen down there are catching tuna that are getting 35 miles per gallon.” –Jay Leno “BP was kind of bragging about it today … the top hat. Oh yeah, they put a top hat on it, was collecting about 6% of the oil. Yes, they found a solution that stops as much oil as the margin of error. It lets 94% of the oil through. It was built by the same people who built the Mexican border fence.” –Bill Maher

“The oil spill is getting bad. There is so much oil and tar now in the Gulf of Mexico, Cubans can now walk to Miami. James Cameron has volunteered to go down to the Gulf of Mexico and consult. I love it when a guy who’s an expert in fake disasters gets involved. And if that doesn’t work, they’re going to contact Superman and he’s going to weld the pipe with his X-ray vision.” –David Letterman “People want (Obama) to be madder. His press secretary said he was enraged today. He was on Larry King, last night, and he said, “I am furious.’ He said ‘I am so angry, I have asked Rahm Emanuel to unleash a string of obscenities on my behalf.'” –Bill Maher

“Al Gore and his wife, longtime married couple, are separating. Tipper Gore. And they may get a divorce. Apparently what happened, they experienced global cooling.” –David Letterman “After 40 years, Al and Tipper Gore have split up. Nobody knows why, but there is a rumor today that Al came home early last week and found another man’s carbon footprints. “Rush Limbaugh is getting married this weekend for the fourth time … It’s a traditional wedding. Well, not that traditional. They say instead of throwing rice, throw Vicodin.” –Bill Maher It was so romantic. First, the couple wrote their own vows and then they wrote their own prescriptions.” –Jimmy Fallon

“Here now the official Rush Limbaugh wedding announcement. Rush Limbaugh wed Kathryn Rogers in a quiet Florida ceremony on Saturday. The bridegroom is a controversial radio host and an influential opinion leader in the conservative movement in the United States. The bride is clearly insane.” –David Letterman
“Rush Limbaugh got married over the weekend. This is actually his fourth marriage; he blames the first three breakups on Obama.” –Craig Ferguson
David Letterman’s “Top Ten Things Overheard At Rush Limbaugh’s Wedding 8. “Do you take this woman to be your future ex-wife?” 6. “They have a tent in case it rains. No wait, those are Rush’s pants” 2. “It’s ironic that a guy named ‘Rush’ takes 20 minutes to walk down the aisle”

That’s our mid-June report. I’m not going to mention the oil spill, but like my upcoming 40th high school reunion, it’s constantly on my mind. So with the Lakers in a must-win situation, enjoy game six of the NBA Finals and we’ll catch you playing the box and one. Aloha, mahalo and later, Paul Pierce fans.

Good morning and greetings, Beach Boys fans. That’s right, “God only knows what I’d be without you,” my favorite cyber audience. Now, “east coast girls are hip, I really dig those styles they wear, and the southern girls with they way they blog, they knock me out when I’m down there. The midwest farmer’s daughters really make you feel alright, and the northern girls with the way they kiss, they keep their boyfriends blogging all night.” But rest assured, sports fans, “the west coast has the sunshine and the girls all get so tanned, so it’s the “California girls” who are driving this runaway train. And thank you, the dedicated readers of this blog, for all the “Good, good, good, good vibrations.”

Now that I got that important salute to the beach girls of the Golden State out of the way, we can move on to today’s risky business. Or in the words of Rebecca DeMornay, “Are you ready for me, Ralph?” (That was my salute to Tom Cruise.)

So today on NBC we are going to take a walk on the wildlife side. One misty morning in early June, I was driving home along the boundries of Natural Bridges State Park. And who do I see loping down Swanton Boulevard but none other than Mr. Wile E coyote (photo #1). It was like a dog day afternoon, but it was morning as watched him stroll along the wet grass, searching for a snack of perhaps a tasty gopher, a wandering kitty cat or a chocolate-filled croissant. When I took this shot this wild dog was less than ten yards away and didn’t seem the least concerned with me or my back seat companion. My dog had a stunned look on her face, or the same expression that most of the free world exhibited when John McCain selected Sarah Palin as his running mate.

After a while this prarie wolf tired of me watching him like a mental patient, so he took off on a run and ducked under the fence back into the park. I then drove home, made myself a vegan cheeseburger with some organic sweet potato fries and started work on my memoir, “Every Day is Saturday.”

The next shot takes me back a couple of years to the sands of Four Mile Beach, where I caught this elusive juvenile bobcat (photo #2) less than 100 yards from the water. It is very unusual to see one of these creatures in the sand, no less putting on sunblock-it happens about as often as a Republican politician says something positive about Michelle’s Obama’s hubby. Ten minutes after I took this shot, I thought this wild cat was going to attack me. And as many of you out there know, multiple puncture wounds can really put a crimp on the day.

A couple of days after I shot the coyote beautiful, I was Pablo cruising down Western Drive when I saw doe (a deer, a female deer) and her two fawns trying to cross the street. It was fascinating to see the mother make sure her two children looked both ways before they crossed and then waited to make sure that they were safe before she went. This was then followed by ray, a drop of golden sun. They were photographed on the hillside by me, a name, I call myself.

Moving along, a couple of years back, my daughter and I were returning from a fact finding mission at Its Beach when we came across this Vietnamese potbellied pig (photo #4) and her lovely owner. She was just taking her prize dwarf breed of a domestic swine on an outing, and afterwards were going out for some Chinese food. I believe she told me that they slept in the same bed, which she said wasn’t a problem because she didn’t snore. Sometimes a playmate would come over and they’d all sleep together. You guessed it, the old pigs in a blanket.

Back in late May, I had just finished running Summer, my golden retriever, when we came across a turtle (photo #5) in a field by Antonelli’s pond. I figured it had crawled over and was lost so I brought it home to show my daughter and to later have it race the rabbit that lives next door. Aimee quickly built a shelter for it in our backyard, fed it some chips, salsa and guacamole, as we figured we’d see it in the morning.

Well, for the next two days, no Yertle, not turtle. I figured it had James burrowed somewhere and it was history. Later that morning, I received a phone call from my frantic wife, who informed me that there was an animal in the house that was tearing and shredding the furniture and using the spam filter on my computer. Summer was upstairs barking and shaking and wishing she was a German sheperd. I rushed home and raced inside expecting to perhaps find a raccoon enjoying a Trader Joe’s four cheese pizza. But not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.

I then looked out the back at the sliding glass door to see the turtle standing outside wanting in. At this moment the realization came over me that perhaps this was not a wild mutant ninja turtle, but someone’s recently emancipated pet. I then brought him down to the local pet shop and discovered that he was a red eared slider, who much like myself is semi-aquatic and can only eat in the water. It was a good move not releasing it into Antonelli’s Pond as it is much more voracious than native turtles and would have wiped out the fish population faster than you could say, “Entourage.” So we dropped it into the big tank at the pet shop and it immediately dove underwater and starting synchronized swimming with a box turtle from the Bronx. Last I heard it was sold to the Sultan of Brunei and has its own chef and waxer.

For our final photo we return to West Cliff Drive. Last year I photographed these cormorants building their nests along the edge of the cliff. We followed them as they laid their eggs and then gave birth do some of wildest-looking chicks I’ve seen since my freshman year at Syracuse University. We’ll have a blog on this later in the summer when they give birth. It’s a fascinating process to watch and I saw my first egg the other day. If you want to check it out, it’s on the cliff right before the entrance to Natural Bridges. Tell them Geoff sent you and that Eli’s coming.

One more note. This past Friday, on my morning walk with one of my newest friends of Swedish descent, we spotted a beautiful little creature popping its head out of the hole in the park at Natural Bridges. It had a white ring around its face and incredibly beautiful golden tan fur. It was not scared of us or man’s best friend who was with us and was very curious to check us out. Of course, much to my dismay, I was not carrying my camera because this would have been a perfect addition to this blog as it was less than 100 yards from where I photographed the coyote. It would have been the perfect Glenn closure.

I thought it was a ferret, and my fjord-loving, morning companion later emailed me to let me know that it was a black-footed ferret, which I found rather odd since none are located in California. Later that afternoon I went over to the Visitor’s Center at Natural Bridges and poured out my heart and soul to the ranger, who told me to get some therapy and that this beautiful beast of burden was a southwest long-tailed weasel. Right before I spotted him, I could swear I heard a little sound. That’s right, (and you may see this one coming,) pop goes the weasel.

On to the late night comedy experience. “Boy, this is a weird story. Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor is at LaGuardia and she breaks her ankle. This happened, like, two days ago. And in a 5-to-4 ruling, the current justices have voted to send her a get well card. In Iran, President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is in a tight race. This guy is everywhere trying to drum up support. On Sunday, he was on the Iranian talk show, ‘Eliminate the Press.'” –David Letterman “Speaking of Republican icons, Nancy Reagan this week was in the capital to unveil a statue of her late husband, Ronald Reagan, and she had lunch at the White House with Michelle Obama. I’m not sure she really knows who Michelle Obama is, cause she told her to really dust, not just move things around.” –Bill Maher

“Earlier today, President Obama spoke at a town hall meeting in Green Bay, Wisconsin. Yeah. Yeah, half of the Wisconsin crowd had never seen an African-American, and the other half had never seen a skinny person.” –Conan O’Brien “President Obama is proposing a new national healthcare plan that’s both inexpensive and accessible. He’s calling it Have Your Surgery In Mexico.” –Jimmy Fallon “President Obama gave a big historic speech yesterday in Egypt. President Obama impressed listeners by beginning his speech with the traditional Islamic greeting, “Salaam Aleikum.” Yea, it’s very cool. Yea it was especially impressive because a year ago, President Bush opened with ‘Shalom Amigos.'” –Conan O’Brien

“I am Stephen Colbert, and I am reporting for duty. Folks, right off the top, I want to thank the USO for bringing me and my show to our brave men and women in uniform in Baghdad, Iraq. Thank you so much. I have to say, this place is great. I’ve always loved the beach, but I hate the ocean, so this is perfect! You know, folks, a lesser man would try to pander to you. But I’m not going to do that. Besides, you would never fall for it, because you are the sharpest, coolest, sexiest fighting force in the history of mankind. You know, it’s my first trip to Iraq. I don’t know why I haven’t made it here before, but it’s hard to explain to the people back home just how hot it is here. Let me put it this way: When Saddam Hussein got to hell, I’m guessing he asked for a blanket.” –Stephen Colbert

That’s my salute to the animal planet. Congratulations go out to the Orlando Magic, whose blunders and missed free throws in a critical game 4 allowed Kobe Bryant and the Los Angeles Lakers to capture their 15th NBA title last night. Which means, with the exception of the upcoming NBA draft, we basketball fans have nothing to look forward to, except Karl Rove perhaps being indicted. It all comes down to what my wife always whispers in my ear before we go to sleep, “Basketball is life, the rest is just details.” We’ll catch in the lockeroom. Aloha, mahalo and later, Laker fans.