Good morning and greetings, turkey day fans. According to my Nicki Minaj desktop calendar, Thanksgiving is coming up on Thursday. For most, it is a week filled with joy, as families reunite and share in a bounty of food, drink and tryptophan. My favorite amino acid helps the body in making niacin, an important B vitamin, which works well as both a floor wax and a dessert topping.

So this week, the airports are packed and people take to the highways like lemmings. Or as the late, great Johnny Carson once observed, “Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then they discover once a year is too often.” Hiyo.

Now when I look back into my blogging archives, it seems that I wax nostalgic about my favorite national holiday in the even years, as in 2010, 2012 and 1846.

So for today, I hope you’ll pardon me if I bring back some of the greatest celebrities quotes and a few new ones about this festival of turkey, cranberry sauce, sweet potatoes and enough stuffing to fill the Grand Canyon.

So Thanksgiving is always a November to remember, as uncontrolled violence, er football, takes center stage on this holiday. Or as comedian John Caponera put it, ‘Who knew the Pilgrims liked football so much?”

It’s a time of bonding, when relatives and friends come together. Jon Stewart, coming off his directorial debut of his new movie, “Rosewater,” grew up in the Garden State of New Jersey and enjoys reminiscing about the holiday. “I celebrated in an old fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then killed them and took their land.”

It seems that the Indians got a raw deal in this whole Thanksgiving story. Or as Native American comedian Larry Omaha puts it, “My mother won’t celebrate Thanksgiving. She says it represents the white man stealing our land. But she’s not angry, she figures, what the hell, we’re taking it back one casino at a time.”

For the host family, a good part of the day is spent in the foxhole, better known as the kitchen, preparing for a feast that will be prepared by a few, eaten by many and cleaned up by less. Unfortunately, many people will go hungry on this day, and that is a sin. No one in America should go hungry.

Or as Mother Theresa once tweeted me from a Backstreet Boys concert, ‘If you can’t feed 100 people, feed one.”

There is something vaguely satisfying about putting together a meal that feeds so many. I just love cramming stuffing into the bird’s cavity, as the instructions always say to ‘lightly stuff” the bird.

Well, after I finish jackhammering the delightfully flavored mix of bread crumbs, celery, and unions into the self basting butterball, I place it in a plastic bag, and it does all the work. It’s like magic. There’s a great future in plastics.

Or as Roseanne Barr once described the filling of the crevice, “Here I am at five o’clock in the morning, stuffing bread crumbs up a dead bird’s butt.”

George Carlin had this take on the holiday. “We’re having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we’re having a swan. You get more stuffing.” And it’s always so moist.

So it makes for a long day, but it only comes around once a year, and you have 365 days to recover from it. It can be a little stressful when the families reunite. Or as Stephen Colbert once noted, “Personally, I love Thanksgiving traditions: watching football, making pumpkin pie, and saying the magic phrase that sends your aunt storming out of the dining room to sit in her car.”

Thanksgiving is celebrated by most all in America, from the common working stiff to high profile celebrities in Hollywood. Former California governor Arnold Schwarzeneger, who is busy man due to the double family front on this occasion, made a keen observation when he quipped, “I love the Thanksgiving turkey…it’s the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts.”

Now my favorite TV talk show host, David Letterman, is retiring from the late night wars sometime in 2015. He will be missed. Here’s his take on the holiday. “Thanksgiving is the day when you turn to another family member and say, ‘How long has Mom been drinking like this?’ My mom, after six Bloody Marys, looks at the turkey and says, ‘Here kitty, kitty.'”

As the world know, David Letterman is a huge admirer of the world’s most powerful woman, Oprah Winfrey. As I’ve said before, Oprah is a saint, a woman with a huge heart that overflows with love and generosity. She changes lives on a daily basis, and if you want to model yourself after someone, the Big O would be a good starting point.

This is her thought on the day. ‘Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never have enough.” Or as comedian Kevin James once spouted, “Thanksgiving. Not a good day to be my pants.”

Which leads me to the words of writer William A. Ward, who so eloquently once said, “God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today. Have you used one to say “thank you?”

Well, I believe I have. I am particularly thankful for my health and the health of my family and friends. But I would also like the give thanks to you, the readers of this blog, who take time out each week to decipher whatever humorous thoughts sprint across my mind. It’s all about the laughter. The photos are the icing on the cake.

So for my final thoughts on this day before we celebrate Black Friday, I will defer to one of the funniest and palest men in American, comedian Jim Gaffigan, to put the holiday in the proper prospective. “Thanksgiving. It’s like we didn’t even try to come up with a tradition. The tradition is, we overeat. ‘Hey, how about at Thanksgiving we just eat a lot?’ ‘But we do that every day!’ ‘Oh. What if we eat a lot with people that annoy the hell out of us?'”

So in honor of the turkey day, for our photo follies, we are featuring a cluster of their distant cousins, the pelican. The day was November 14th, and I had heard a rumor of a mass gathering at Natural Bridges State Beach. Sure enough, they were packed in on the rocks like sardines and with the gulls down on the sand.

We then return to November of last year, as we head down to the Municipal Wharf and take in a couple of outrageous feeding frenzy moments, as the birds were going anchovie crazy. There was non-stop action with the volume turned up.

We then move on to a big flock of pelicans in flight heading north before we finish up with a delightful shot along West Cliff Drive of these amazing birds moving through the sun as it dips into the horizon.

On to some late night humor. “There are reports that leaders from ISIS and al-Qaida met at a farm house in Syria last week, and agreed to work together against their common enemies. That story again: Two radical terrorist groups managed to do what two American political parties cannot. The Keystone XL pipeline would run from Canada to the Gulf Coast. It’ll be the biggest underground structure leading into the U.S. Then people in Mexico said, “Eh . . . second biggest.” – Jimmy Fallon

I don’t know if you know this but Hitler was a painter and one of his watercolor paintings is being auctioned off. It’s expected to sell for over $60,000. So if you’re looking for a wedding gift for Charles Manson.”- Conan O’Brien “Today is the anniversary of the Gettysburg Address. President Lincoln wrote it on his way to the site of the speech on the back of an envelope. One guy on the back of an envelope wrote the great Gettysburg Address — while every night it takes six guys to write this crap!” -David Letterman

“Germany has overtaken the United States as the world’s favorite country. The favorite country survey was based on more than 20,000 people in 20 countries. Isn’t it a little bit unfair that they did this before the McRib came back?” -Jimmy Kimmel “David Bowie’s new album is a greatest hits collection called “Nothing Has Changed.” On the cover he looks in the mirror and he says nothing has changed. When I look in the mirror I say, “Hello, grandpa.” – Craig Ferguson

“Scientists say the European space probe that landed on the comet has detected organic matter. This means there could be either life in space or a Whole Foods. We just don’t know. This week a group of activists, known as Anonymous, hacked the Twitter account of the KKK. The KKK is furious. They said Anonymous is just a bunch of cowards who don’t have the courage to show their faces.” – Conan O’Brien “A man in California was arrested after he stabbed his potential employer during a job interview. Well, at least now he knows where he sees himself in five years.” – Seth Meyer

So that’s my big holiday post. Enjoy this gathering for what it is and perhaps take a moment to think about the military families that are apart on Thanksgiving.

We’ll catch you slinging touchdown passes and putting up big numbers on the board week after week. Aloha, mahalo and later, Aaron Rogers fans.

Good morning and greetings, gravy and stuffing fans. Like storm clouds on the horizon, the holiday season is rapidly approaching, and there’s a certain magical feeling in the air as families get ready to gather together for the Thanksgiving Day feast of food and football. For me, this means hitting the stores every six hours in preparation for the most enjoyably dysfunctional day of turkey and family. But unlike the first Pilgrims who ventured into white and dark meat valley of tryptophan, our meal will include the ingredient of sugar, which was not available to these early bird diners, who instead had to learn from the native Americans how to hunt for little packets of Sweet N’ Low and Diet Snapple.

I’m excited about the holiday, as my parents, both my brothers, their families and my in-laws will be making an appearance around the table. These kinds of events, with so many key participants, are too few and far between, like uplifting stories on the news or in the newspaper. For those of you under 18, the latter is printed material that the early pioneers used to hold in their hands and read while eating or watching sports.

I would love to be joined on this most blessed occasion of cranberry
sauce by friends from all around the country, including Kentucky, but since that’s about as likely to happen as Sarah Palin receiving the Republican nomination for President, I’ll savor whoever is around or under the table.

Before I go any further, I want to acknowledge what a difficult day this is for so many people. Death, divorce, depression, disease, worry and loneliness take no holiday, and my heart goes out to any family with a son or daughter in the military. This is not a day you want to be away from home, so if there’s ever going to be time to feel grateful for what you have, you might want to put a circle around Thursday. And if you’re an NBA owner or player, you really might want to take a step back and think about what this what stoppage means to the loyal and dedicated fans who were looking forward to the increased ticket prices and cheerleader’s new dance routines.

So according to Google Analytics and my Chinese lunar calendar, today’s blog post is my 300th. Yes, the big 300. And the critics said I’d never get I’d past 299. What this means is that 300 times I have sat down in front of this computer screen and wondered, what thoughts can I gently pluck from my swiftly flowing stream of unconsciousness that will interest and amuse the endless dozens of readers to this site. Unlike examining my life and trying to understand why I am the way I am, writing and rewriting this blog has proved to be an unexpected joy, like putting on a pair of shorts and finding a $10 bill in the pocket. I never saw myself being a jogger or a blogger, but somehow, through evolution I’ve evolved over the years, and I was able to rise out of the sea of non-cyber world participation and like Louie, er, Neil Armstrong, have my words walk in space. It was one small step for my website, and one giant leap for my Google traffic.

I started this blog back in 2007, to create a place where people could go to view images of incredible beauty of the central coast. And along the way they might learn a little something that they weren’t aware of. But most importantly, what I really wanted people to experience with these pages was the joy of laughter. Much the same way Robert Plant, in Stairway to Heaven, asks the famous question, “Does anybody remember laughter?” Well, I do, and although I’m not laughing nearly as much as I should these days, I do remember it, and that is why I sit in front of this computer and transpose these words onto the screen. Well, that and I’m very lonely.

I was going to do my annual list of things I’m thankful for, but I’m going take a pass on that and just mention a few. I’m incredibly thankful for my sight and relative good health and that I’m here to write this 300th post because as we all know too well, not everyone can say this. I’m thankful the networks haven’t locked out the TV writers, because then my wife and I would never be able to experience the time we spend together hiking, kayaking and camping in the land of TiVo. And I am very grateful that my son is still a senior in high school, as I get to keep his stats and live through him totally vicariously for a couple of more sports seasons before he sets off for college. Then I guess I’ll teach my basketball-playing daughter that killer crossover move. I know she can break hearts, I want to see her break ankles.

So in honor of my 300th post, I thought I would return to my blonde roots and feature six classic, fantastic sunrise moments from the month of November. Much like hitting a game-winning jumper, each of these spectacular mornings was a joy to shoot. The first photo is my second favorite sunrise of all-time, and no matter how many times I look at it I am always amazed at its extreme beauty. It was a modeling shoot of the sky, and I never had to say smile as the clouds did it for me. For me, these sunrises are what it’s all about. And as I hope they say about me some day, to quote Emerson, Lake and especially Palmer, “Ooooh, what a lucky man he was.”

On to the late night humor. “They had a midnight raid and they cleaned out Zucotti Park where the Occupy Wall Streeters were camped out for about two months. So if you’re keeping score, here’s what the score is now: Eighty down in Zucotti Park; Wall Street executives arrested: Zero.” –David Letterman “Over the weekend in New York, two Occupy Wall Street protesters got married at the protest. They are registered at Bed, Bath, and Seriously, You Need to Take a Bath.” –Conan O’Brien “Some have criticized pepper spraying a pregnant woman, but don’t forget, the cops were spraying for two.” –Stephen Colbert

“Presidential candidate Jon Huntsman accused his Republican opponents of coming up with easy sound bites just to get applause. In response, Mitt Romney was like, ‘That is ridiculous. Clap if you like bacon!'” –Jimmy Fallon “Herman Cain flubbed a question on Libya yesterday and then tried to cover by saying, ‘Oh, I thought you meant Libya Newton-John.'” –Jimmy Kimmel “I am addicted to all the Republican Presidential candidates. They are all like crack, in that they will devastate black communities.” –Stephen Colbert

“Most analysts agree the big debate winner last night was Mitt Romney, who stuck closely to his strategy of not being any of the other candidates.” –Jimmy Kimmel “Someone told Rick Perry today that Obama, as he did, laid a wreath on the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. And Rick Perry said ‘See, he blanks on names too.'” –Bill Maher “Someone shot a bullet at the White House. The Secret Service ruled out Jon Huntsman because that guy has no shot at the White House.” –Conan O’Brien

“As if Herman Cain’s troubles couldn’t get worse, today, New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie accused Herman Cain of skimping on the pepperoni.” –David Letterman “Herman Cain said he would beat Obama by ‘beating him with a Cain.’ Obama said, ‘I’m just glad I’m not running against Anthony Weiner.'” –Jimmy Fallon “President Obama attended the first college basketball game ever played on an aircraft carrier. Don’t confuse that with the NBA. That’s a bunch of guys not playing basketball on a sinking ship.” –Jay Leno

“As you know by now, a fourth woman has come forward and accused Herman Cain of sexual harassment. This woman gave the details, pretty graphic. She said that Herman Cain tried to put his hand up her. So now when Cain says he is reaching out to the American people, you know what he’s reaching for.” –Jay Leno “Earlier today Herman Cain rejected calls that he should withdraw from the race. He said, ‘It ain’t gonna happen!’ That’s what he said. Ironically, that’s what women say to him when he’d put his hand up their skirt.” –Jay Leno

So that’s our pre Thanksgiving report. Enjoy the holiday week and remember to give thanks for something besides first downs and sweet potatoes. We’ll catch you in playing at the top of your game. Aloha, mahalo and later, Aaron Rogers fans.