Good morning and greetings, Obamacare fans. Or should I say hopefully Affordable HealthCare Act fans? In late September, I received notice from my current health care provider that the membership group I was part of was being disbanded. They further stated that if I didn’t join a new group by December 15 that the new rate for my insurance premium would be basically be double. Lucky I’m a skirt steak eating vegan or my blood pressure would have gone through the roof.

To say the least, I was not thrilled. Now I’m not going to give away the name of my carrier (Anthem Blue Cross) because that would be wrong, as all insurance companies have the same rights to gouge their customers. I’m just worried about the old double cross.

However, last week I spoke with a woman from ABC (Anthem Blue Cross,) and she assured me that as easy as one, two, three, if I went to their website and put in my information, they would offer me a rate that is not comparable with my monthly home mortgage. What a relief to know I still might be able to afford my NBA League Pass.

I’m going to their site this week in an attempt to obtain what those courageous conservative congressman fought so hard to deny me and the rest of the country, affordable health care. At this point I’m optimistic, as the Taliban have momentarily stopped laughing at us. As the saying goes in the heath insurance marketplace, “Hardly working to help you get covered.”

On a more pleasant note, the Santa Cruz Municipal Wharf turned 100 years old on October 13. Now I dig the wharf. I love the fact that I can hear the sea lions barking from their home on the pilings from my abode, which according to the way Sheryl Crow used to fly, is over two and half miles away. Now if I could just hear my wife when she calls me from upstairs. It was the French philosopher Jean de la Bruyere who said, “The sweetest of all sounds is that of the voice of the woman we love.” Obviously, this guy was not a sports fan.

For a photographer, the wharf is a photo paradise, as there is always action up and down the longest wooden pier still standing in the U.S. Whether it’s gulls, pelicans, walruses, seals, sea lions, dolphins, whales or Russian submarines, all can be seen from this spot, where back in 1914 they plunged 2,000 70-foot-tall Douglas fir pilings 21 feet deep into the ocean floor. And I believe it was Jacque Cousteau’s cousin who tweeted, “We all know sponges grow in the ocean, but I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that wasn’t the case.”

Depending on who you ask, there have been five or six different wharves built along our shorelines. Our current wharf was built back in the day for steamships to haul goods and surfers in and out Santa Cruz. It’s where the commercial fishing boats brought in their daily hauls from the waters of Monterey Bay. Today there are displayed on ice in the fish markets along the wharf. It’s amazing to see what’s swimming around in the bay. Or to quote the late, great Rodney Dangerfield from the movie classic ‘Caddyshack,’ “The last time I saw a mouth like that it had a hook in it.”

It was in the 1960’s that the wharf started to change and became the tourist attraction that it is today, with restaurants, souvenir stores and more restaurants. Last week I had lunch at Gilda’s, which is owned and run by the original Stagnaro family, who have been serving Santa Cruz since 1879. Being the seafood lover that I am, I had the Wednesday special, the freshly caught prime rib, which comes with soup, bread, potato, vegetables and a view to die for. All for $8.95. And there’s always plenty of free parking and if you’re lucky, you’ll take home a souvenir on your windshield from one of the local gulls.

And speaking of dining, you might want to check out the $8.95 locals special at the Firefish Grill. There’s eight great selections to choose from. My favorite is the freshly caught parmesan crusted chicken, which is a parmesan cheese and parko breaded chicken breast topped with a savory sun dried tomato, wine and butter sauce served over a double portion of mashed potatoes, as my doctor told me to cut back on my ruffage intake. No soup but a tremendous view of the action at Steamer’s Lane.

So for today’s photo lineup, I’m featuring some of my favorite photos of this Santa Cruz landmark. The first two shots are from March of 2006. This multi-colored arc was lighting up the sky at various times throughout the day, and in the late afternoon, I finally timed it right and caught these magical moments of beauty.

The next shot was taken in the early evening, as I was on my way to see Eddie Money perform down at the Boardwalk bandshell. Some baitfish were running in the bay and the pelicans had gathered to take in dinner and a show. Eddie blew the crowd away that night with “Wanna Be A rock ‘N’ Roll Star.” Or as the Money Man told the crowd, and I paraphrase, “I love Santa Cruz. I’ve been coming here since 1970, back when I was snorting South American countries.”

When then move on to the biggest moon of the year rising over the Santa Cruz mountains, before checking out some fantastic thunder clouds. We close with my favorite picture taken from the wharf, of hundreds of sea lions ‘rafting’ alongside the pier. This was the largest group I’d ever seen, and they were just happy relaxing and doing a lot of heavy breathing, much like the detectives during Sharon Stone’s interrogation scene from “Basic Instinct.”

Bottom line, wharf fans, when you can drive out onto the water, park your car, walk 30 feet to a boat landing and sidle up alongside a giant sea lion basking in the morning sun, then life is good. Very, very good.

On to the late night humor. “The government will temporarily reopen until January 15 with the debt ceiling raised until February 7, and then we’ll do this over again. Why do we have a debt ceiling? Why can’t we get rid of the debt ceiling, have a convertible government, and feel the wind in our national hair? It’s day 15 of the government shutdown. President Obama said he was hopeful an agreement would be reached tonight. Part of the problem is that Republicans can’t even agree among themselves on what they want. Which means Obama doesn’t know what to tell them they can’t have.” –Jimmy Kimmel

“Because of the government shutdown, the White House is under attack – by squirrels. They’ve invaded the White House garden because the gardeners were laid off. When I first heard the White House was under attack by freaky rodents, I thought, ‘What’s Ann Coulter done now?’ This kind of thing would never have happened under George W. Bush because Dick Cheney would have been on the White House lawn blasting the squirrels with a shotgun.” –Craig Ferguson

“Yesterday John Boehner led a group of 20 Republicans to see President Obama. Unfortunately when they got to the White House, the president was still black. There are these people they’re calling ‘debt ceiling deniers’ – Republicans who have decided that, unlike every economist on the entire planet, maybe defaulting on our debt would be a good thing. First they didn’t believe in evolution, then they didn’t believe in global warming, and now the debt ceiling; what I like to call the ‘moron trifecta.'” –Bill Maher

“President Obama said the day after the budget deal is made he’s going to concentrate on immigration. He says he’ll start by deporting Ted Cruz.” –Conan O’Brien “Nobody’s happy about the government shutdown. In fact, the Taliban just issued a statement where they criticized Congress for putting themselves before everyone else. You know things are bad when Americans are saying, ‘Yeah, gotta go with the Taliban on this one.'” –Jimmy Fallon “Talking to reporters today about the shutdown, John Boehner said, ‘If ands or buts were candy and nuts, every day would be Christmas.’ You know, if they’d get off our butts and quit squeezing our nuts, we could enjoy Christmas.” –Jay Leno

So here’s a thought. Take a moment this week to think about the sacrifice our troops and their families are making. We’re still fighting in a war, folks. And if you have another moment, think about the courage displayed by children and their families who are bravely fighting catastrophic illnesses. Maybe do something nice to make a difference in someone’s life.

We’ll catch you being called up in August and putting together two shutout performances on the mound in the national league playoffs. Aloha, mahalo and later, Mike Wacha fans.

Good morning and greetings, Crimson Tide fans. I have been keeping my semi-loyal, subscription-free readers up-to-date about the tornadoes that have been ravaging the south and midwest. Now, you may be wondering, Geoff, (if I may call myself that), what is this obsession with tornadoes? Why not the Olds Toronado? With so much else going on in the world, why are you so interested in these twisters?

It’s a simple answer, my friends and compatriots. I love exotic weather. Much like the question and answer section of the Miss Universe Contest, severe weather conditions have always fascinated me. As I write this, it could be pounding snow in Lake Tahoe, pouring rain in Missouri, hot and humid in West Palm Beach and 82 degrees and perfect on the North Shore of Oahu. Or as my son Jason once said about island weather, “cloudy with a chance of paradise.”

So last week it was Tuscaloosa, Alabama, that felt the full brunt of the devastating effects of the most recent killer twisters. This has been the second deadliest tornado outbreak in history, as twisters a mile wide with 200 MPH winds wiped out neighborhoods in seconds on their killing path. These aren’t just your every day incredibly terrifying tornadoes, they’re super tornadoes that the boys and girls at the Weather Channel haven’t witnessed in years.

The atmosphere, much like Memphis Grizzly fans, have been in a frenzy as the jet stream keeps blasting along the country, as warm, moist air from the Gulf of Mexico keeps feeding these super cell thunderstorms that produce monster tornadoes. And here’s the kicker, sports fans. April is not the number one tornado month. The crown is held by Miss May.

What blows me away about tornadoes is the incredible quickness of its destructive powers. When a fire burns down your house, it’s a fairly slow process as the flames take their time in wreaking their havoc. With a tornado, it’s a couple of seconds and everything is gone. Your home, your memories, your sofa, gone before you could say “what happened to Katie Couric?” Tuscaloosa will not be the same for a long, long time as we’ve learned it’s not just the little towns that the twisters pick on.

Now let’s move on to today’s subject at hand. I’m a big fan of the Santa Cruz Municipal Wharf. Now, it’s not because the “Locals Only” parmesan crusted chicken in a bed of garlic mashed potatoes at the Firefish Grill or Gilda’s $8.95 Prime Rib Special, which is one of the best bargains in town. It’s because of the pelicans, gulls, boys, eels, seals, tiger shrimp and sea lions that can be found along this pier. Well, that and the crispy french bread that kicks off the Gilda experience.

I had lunch their last week, and while I was enjoying my vegetarian tri-tip plate, a whale surfaced in the bay, less than 200 yards off shore. It was spectacular, much like the scalloped potatoes and clam chowder that come with this Tuesday $9.95 special. Seeing this magnificent creature rising up out of the water reminded me that only at the edge of the continent does this kind of magic happen. And at Sea World when Shamu is in the mood.

When visiting this local landmark, one can always check out sea lions languishing on the pilings, sleeping atop of one another on the boat landings or swimming in small groups off the pier. But on this day, as you can see in photos one and two, I caught a group hundreds of sea lions rafting just twenty to thirty yards off the wharf. It was a spectacular sight, as most were just relaxing after a fish and chips lunch. What made it more even more interesting was the sound of their heavy breathing, the kind I hadn’t heard since my early telemarketing days.

I had never experienced a gathering this large. I returned the next three days but there was no sight of this massive sea lion colony. So once again, it’s all about capturing the moment, as my venturing to Gilda’s for the freshly caught prime rib paid off big-time. It was a day that came along with a choice of potato or rice that I will truly never forget.

Now here are a few fun facts about our friends the sea lions. They don’t drink water, lemonade or ice tea as they get all the water from the food they eat. Thus, you will never see a baby sea lion with a sippy cup. Much like many of my older relatives back east, they do not chew their food and just swallow their fish whole, which is easy when it’s gefilte.

Sea lions love to dine on fish, squid, pro quo, octopus, pasta, shellfish, insensitive, crustaceans, and lemon grass spring rolls. They are among the most vocal mammals, as the bark, bite, growl, roar, snore, grunt, chant, whisper, honk and give the middle finger salute. Even though I live over two miles from the wharf, I can hear them barking in the morning. Now if I could just hear my wife when she calls me from upstairs, I could get rid of that damn baby monitor.

Sea lions get very nervous when they are in the same room with sharks, killer whales and IRS agents. They can sleep both in and out of the water, but hear better under water. Like I tend to do at pool parties, when sea lions deep dive, they slow down their heart rate to allow them to remain underwater for ten minutes before resurfacing. But unlike these sleek, exotic mammals, I always like to have a big beach towel and a cocktail waiting for me when I resurface.

On to the late night. “The White House Easter egg roll was held yesterday. It was a great opportunity for kids from all over the country to come to the White House and look for the president’s birth certificate.” –Jimmy Kimmel “President Obama hosted the annual White House Easter Egg Roll. It was a little awkward though. Donald Trump showed up and demanded to see each egg’s birth certificate.” –Jimmy Fallon “The good news is, President Obama was born in America. The bad news is, so was Donald Trump.”–Jay Leno

“Donald Trump is now attacking President Obama’s grades, suggesting that he was a poor student. First it was the birth certificate, and now the grades. Trump won’t be happy until he proves that Obama doesn’t exist. Donald Trump says he’s glad the focus is off President Obama’s birth certificate, and now he’s demanding to see President Lincoln’s death certificate.’–Jimmy Kimmel “Trump was in New Hampshire, where they have the presidential primaries, and he was testing the waters to see if the country Is ready for a buffoon.”–David Letterman

“A study found Americans spend $1.2 trillion every year on stuff they don’t need. Or as Republicans call it, health care. New York just passed a law that allows same-sex conjugal visits for prisoners. Isn’t that pretty much what prison is?” –Jimmy Fallon “New Jersey had a governor, married, who decided he was a homosexual, and he was having so much fun being a homosexual that he didn’t want to be governor any more, and now he wants to become a Catholic priest. I’m just going to leave the punchline up to you.” –David Letterman

“It’s my birthday. Sadly, the celebration was marred when Letterman demanded to see my birth certificate.”–Jay Leno “One of Charlie Sheen’s “goddesses” broke up with him because she wants to live in a less dangerous environment. The same day that Charlie Sheen loses a goddess, all of a sudden, Katie Couric announces that she’s leaving CBS News. Coincidence?”–Jimmy Kimmel “A new study found that students who use Facebook while studying have 20 percent lower grades than students who focus. When kids who use Facebook heard that they were like, “20 percent? Big deal. What’s that, like 10 percent?”–Jimmy Fallon

So that’s our first verbal barrage for May. The first eight series of the NBA playoffs concluded on Friday, and it’s the best opening round I can remember since Woodstock. Round two, like the feel of the trade winds blowing on the North Shore, should be fantastic. So enjoy the May flowers and we’ll catch you screening on the baseline. Aloha, mahalo and later, Zach Randolph fans.