November 2, 2014

Can We Still Be Friends?

Good morning and greetings, NBA fans. Yes, the new pro basketball season is upon us, but first congratulations must go out to the San Francisco Giants, who captured an amazing third World Series championship in five years behind pitcher Madison Bumgarner, some timely hitting and great defense. Or in the words of Giants announcer Duane Kuiper, “He hits in hard…he hits in deep…it is…OUTTA HERE.”

So with our national pastime slowly drifting into the rear view mirror, college and pro football move to the forefront of America’s viewing and gambling interest. Football is now our choice of entertainment in America, replacing baseball as the sport du jour. Controlled violence has become very chic these days, as has denying concussion’s side effects and cheerleader’s rights for fair pay.

During my wonder years growing up in New Jersey, we’d go up to the schoolyard and play tackle football. I remember playing with reckless abandon and never getting hurt. These days, the only thing I would attempt to tackle is a crossword puzzle.

So I celebrated my twenty-sixth wedding anniversary last week. I won’t say my wife and I have been through a lot, but there was a major health crisis back in 2009 which was a little dicey, but my wife came through the darkness and back into the light.

Or as the rabbi told me during our wedding reception, “Getting married is easy. Staying married is more difficult. Staying happily married is impossible.”

So we went out to dinner to celebrate the occasion and I burned the roof of my mouth on the crab and artichoke appetizer. But I am happy to report that after fifty two half years of matrimony, our relationship is in the best place it’s even been. Or as comedian Rita Rudner once said, “I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy the rest of your life.”

There’s an old African proverb that says a man without a wife is like a vase without flowers. Evangalist James Dobson said “Don’t marry the person you can live with. Marry the individual that you can’t live without.” I prefer the words of Zsa Zsa Gabor, who once tweeted, “A man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.”

I courted my wife for nine years before we got married, but for some reason, I still have the gnawing feeling that I rushed into wedlock. Of course, I’m just kidding. At least that’s what it says in the prenup agreement.

So things are good on the matrimonial front. Just goes to show how two separate DVR’s can bring keep a marriage fresh and exciting.

Hey, it’s easy to knock TV, but it’s a fabulous gift that keeps on giving. Or as actress Lily Tomlin once pointed out, “If you read a lot of books you are considered well read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you’re not considered well viewed.” Who am I to argue with that?

So if I were to give any advice for someone looking to get married, I would quote the former NFL running back Paul Hornung, who said, “Never get married in the morning, because you’ll never know who you’ll meet that night.”

On another relationship front, last week I received an email from a high school friend I hadn’t heard from in forty four years. He sent me a short note which read, “This message is to an old friend, from an old friend. Love your writing.” And then he signed his name, which I told him I wouldn’t reveal (Dennis).

Forty four years! We are talking approximately 180,060 days of non-communication. The last time we spoke, I was one year out of Woodstock, Tricky Dick Nixon was president and my future bride was 11 years old, riding her bike through the streets of Lakewood, CA on a banana seat.

Well, those last three words went straight to my heart. Nothing he could have written could have been better. We then spoke on the phone, and it was an amazing fifty five minutes of delightful conversation.

We both had gone dark and had not attended any class reunions, yet he said he had been thinking about me all through the years. I too had wondered, what had happened to my best friend?

We go as far back as first grade, and he was in my life from then on through high school. I could hear the excitement in his voice as I updated him on some of our classmates, as to who was above and below the ground.

I told him I would keep our conversation private and wouldn’t reveal a thing about him, like his status (happily married) his profession (real estate) or his location in an unnamed west coast city (Portland.) As I said, mum’s the word.

It was a glorious reunion. I told him I’d stay in touch. There are still some questions. We’ll see where it goes from here.

It just goes to show, you never know what’s coming around the corner. And that’s why I always wear a safety helmet.

So for today’s photo session, we are going back to the lovely morning of October 15. When I woke up, the sky was dark and completely covered with ribbons of clouds. Then when the sun rose over Steamer Lane, the sight was spectacular. I later took some shots from along West Cliff Drive, that revealed the magnitude of greatness that morning. This was world class all the way.

“Vladimir Putin announced he’s abolishing daylight saving time. He said he doesn’t want to set Russian clocks back. I will say this: He’s done a pretty good job of setting the Russian calendar back — to about 1983. Now that Putin’s gotten rid of daylight savings, it’s just a matter of time before he decides to get rid of daylight altogether.” Today is the day I wait for. It’s National Cat Day. It’s the one day of the year we can ignore the fact that if cats were any bigger, they would kill us all.” – Craig Ferguson

“Congratulations to the San Francisco Giants! Last night the Giants beat the Kansas City Royals in Game 7 to win the World Series. Finally, an excuse for the city of San Francisco to have a parade. Kellogg’s has reported a 31 percent drop in profits this quarter after sales of breakfast foods and snacks fell in the U.S. When asked how he’s doing, Tony the Tiger replied, “Not great.” – Seth Meyers “For Halloween, a woman in Vermont is handing out kale to trick-or-treaters. If you’re in Vermont and you want to stop by, look for the house that’s been set on fire.” – Conan O’Brien

“People are taking selfies with bears and then using them as their profile pictures on dating apps. The forest service would like people to stop doing this. I don’t know. I say if people want to take selfies with bears, let them do it. It’s called natural selection. And it’s a win-win, because either you get to post a picture showing everyone how brave you are, or the bear gets to post a picture showing what it had for lunch.” – Jimmy Kimmel

So it’s November as the year continues to fly by. We’ll catch you shutting down the Royals while pulling off perhaps the greatest pitching performance in World Series history. Aloha, mahalo and later, Madison Bumgarner fans.

June 16, 2013

The Old And The Beautiful

Good morning and greetings, late spring fans. Another week has flown by and become a pleasant, yet quickly fading memory. Last week, both my children experienced some closure, as my son returned home from his freshman year at college and my daughter finished her sophomore year in high school. I have no memory of how I felt at those two junctures in my life, or for that matter, my thoughts at a good number of semi-momentus occasions from my past. No matter which way I slice it or dice it, my cranium is ripening like a golden papaya. As Mark Twain said, “What is human life? The first third is a good time, the rest remembering about it.”

I then must ask the question, is it really important to remember what I was thinking or feeling when these events occurred? I believe it was either Justin Beiber’s barber or the Dali Lama’s second cousin who had this thought. “One day at a time-this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past for it is gone, and do not be troubled by the future, for it is yet to come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful that it is worth remembering.” As a photographer, I capture the present, then share the past in the future. I believe that was a Kodak moment.

I’ve got to admit, I’m a little concerned about my legacy, because at this point, no one will ever accuse me of being a workaholic. The words “I wish I had spent more time at the office,” will never be uttered from my lips. That’s why I got a little nervous when I ran into this quote from Theodore Roosevelt. “There has never yet been a man in our history who led a life of ease whose name is worth remembering?” Well, in the words of Charles Barkley or Charles Dickens, “Never say never.” And never, never, never look away.

These days I try to focus ahead, because all the stuff that happened in the past doesn’t really seem quite as important. I don’t plan on living forever, although my father is going somewhat strong at age 96, so I figure I’ve got a few more Chinese birthday dinners in me. Sometimes it’s just about the cream cheese filled wontons. That’s crab rangoon if you’re keeping score at home.

Bottom line, the only things we’ll never know is how much time we have on this earth and when that jury duty summons is coming. But it seems through advances in medicine and energy drinks that people are living longer and longer. Just my luck, I’m finally getting my head together and my body is falling apart.

I know my hearing isn’t what it used to be. I’ve turned the response of “What?” into an art form. It doesn’t surprise me, as neither of my parents have heard a word since the Carter Administration. It’s like the old joke. A guy is talking to his neighbor telling him about the new hearing aid he just got. “It costs a fortune, but it was worth it. It works perfectly.” “Really,” said the neighbor. “What kind is it?” “Ten thirty.”

Speaking of aging, last week in Japan, the world’s oldest person besides Johh McCain, and the oldest man to have ever lived died of natural causes at age 116. Jiroemon Kimura, who was born in 1897, died last Wednesday morning from old age. Kimura was was recognized by Guinness World Records as the world’s oldest living person in December 2012, after a woman from the United States died at the age of 115 after a surfing accident.

That month he also broke another record when he was verified as the oldest man ever to have lived, after reaching the age of 115 years and 253 days. And this was without ever commenting on the weather, asking what time it was or changing his TV channel. He was but a simple man.

Although he was the only the third man in history to reach 115 years of age, he was well off the all-time record set by French woman Jeanne Calment, who surrendered in 1997 at the age of 122, when she was run over by a squirrel gathering acorns, making her the longest living person in history to be done in by a small rodent.

Kimura worked at a post office for about 40 years. Friends say that’s what killed him. After retiring he took up farming, which he continued to do until the age of 90, when he got a computer and spent all this free time cruising dating sites. He did not smoke and only ate until he was 80 percent full. But neighbors say he drank like a fish. Kimura’s motto in life was “to eat light and live long,” means I may have to back off the chocolate cake in the morning.

“Jiroemon Kimura was an exceptional person,” said Craig Glenday, editor-in-chief of Guinness World Records. “As the only man to have ever lived for 116 years, he has a truly special place in world history.” The new oldest living man is James McCoubrey, an American who was born in Canada on Sept. 13, 1901. He’s 111 years old, which makes him the 32nd-oldest living person in the world. And all those who are older are women.

I think I know why women live longer. They are born with stronger immune system, which gives them the inner strength to deal with the opposite sex. They come with a better set of instruments, which leads to greater understanding and insight. They know they’re going to be around longer, so they can kick back and go with the flow. So that’s why my wife lets me hold the remote control when we watch TV. Because she knows time, time, time, is on her side, yes it is.

For today’s photo galaxy we are heading to Natural Bridges State Beach on the night of February 2. The orange and red tone of the clouds and the reflection on the sand was a sight to behold. I took it as a good sign for the days to come from our shortest month. I never tire of photographing the last remaining arch, as once their was three and now there is one. And in the words of Three Dog Night “One is the loneliest number that you’ll ever do. Two can be as bad as one, its the loneliest number since the number one.” Joy to the world.

On to some late night humor. ” The NSA has been listening in on phone calls. It’s people with cellphones. You know your phone is being tapped when you’re having a conversation and you hear the attorney general breathing. Happy birthday to the president’s daughter Sasha, who is 12 years old. For her birthday, her father gave her Justin Bieber’s phone records.” –David Letterman “There’s talk that boy band One Direction is trying to win over Justin Bieber’s fans who aren’t happy with Bieber’s recent behavior. Those guys from One Direction better be careful, or this could result in the world’s most adorable fistfight.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Hillary Clinton finally joined Twitter yesterday and racked up more than 200,000 followers in only five hours. Yeah, they were like, “Hillary in 2016!” and “Washington needs Hillary!” and “Hillary for the White House!” That’s not her followers. Those were her tweets. As part of a senior prank, students at a high school in Washington spray-painted all over their school, but they actually misspelled the word “senior” twice. That probably explains why they didn’t get into “collage.” – Jimmy Fallon

“There are reports that female terrorists are being fitted with exploding breast implants. How many guys are going to use this as an excuse? “Honey, I’m not looking at her breasts. I’m working for Homeland Security.” The guy who blew the whistle on the NSA scandal is a former security worker named Edward Snowden. He is a high school dropout. He was making $122,000 a year. He lived in Hawaii. He was engaged to a beautiful former ballerina. And he gave it all up. So not only is he a whistleblower. He’s also a moron. – Jay Leno

“House Speaker John Boehner called NSA’s Edward Snowden a traitor. But only because he leaked the name of his tanning bed. McDonald’s has started introducing breakfast items at night for what it calls an after-midnight menu. It’s all part of McDonald’s’ new slogan, “Welcome alcoholics.” – Conan O’Brien

So enjoy the NBA Finals. We’ll catch you showing NBA fans why, despite painful knee problems, that you can still light it up any night. Aloha, mahalo and later, Dwyane Wade fans.


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