Good morning and greetings, Dwight Shrute fans. That’s right, my son Jason’s favorite TV show, “The Office,” is starting to grow on me, and the beet farming Mr. Schrute is quite the character. Throw in Jim, the insane Michael Scott and the rest of the gang, and this show is the “Seinfeld” for the texting generation. Because of my hand modeling career and my undercover work for NASA, I don’t get to watch it as often as I like, but when I do it rarely disappoints, unlike the road to Hana, last season’s New York Giants or my senior prom.

Last Thursday was an interesting day, as I like my stress served medium rare. The Dow Jones plummeted 1,000 points in 15 minutes, due to either a high speed trading glitch, the Greek credit crisis or the Raider’s cutting ties with quarterback JaMarcus Russell. This free falling of the market cost investors and Bernie Madoff’s son’s billions. But it’s only money, and in the words of billionaire Paul McCartney, “I don’t care too much for money, money can’t buy me love.” Yes, that may be true, but it really does buy everything else. Well, except for peace of mind, which, American Express says, is ‘priceless.”

But some good things happened on Thursday. As I headed out onto my walk along West Cliff Drive, I noticed the cormorants had returned to the shelf along the cliff (photo #1) just outside of Natural Bridges. They had been gone for close to a year, or about the last time I shaved. They’re here to build nests (photo #2,) talk sports and go on Facebook.

They had been nesting in this spot last summer, until one day when they just vanished. They had seemingly destroyed their nests and hightailed it out of there faster than you could say, “Steve Carell.” I soon learned that there wasn’t enough food in the area and they were starving, so they flew the coop and rented condos in Tahoe for the summer. It missed seeing the eggs hatch and the babies being born, but fortunately, the “Sons of Anarchy” returned to FX that week, and nothing nourishes and replenishes the soul like the adventures of an outlaw motorcycle gang.

So I shot away like Annie Liebowitz in bankruptcy court on this beautiful spring day along the Pacific coast. A gull joined the action and squawked away (photo #4,) making a sound I hadn’t heard since my wedding night.

Two years ago, when I was shooting the cormorants in this same spot, gulls starting attacking me as I waded in along the ice plants. I thought to myself, wow, how interesting, here’s one species of birds protecting another. Somebody get me National Geographic on the phone. Well, it turns out my theory of birds of a feather sticking together was incorrect, as I was walking too close to the sea gulls nests and they felt threatened. I hadn’t seen that kind of aviary anger since Larry Bird choked Dr. J in the eastern conference finals back in the 80’s.

While I was snapping away, another group of birds flew into the picture. At first, I thought they were cornish game hens and immediately starting boiling some wild rice. Then I realized these grayish winged objects were pigeons as one landed on a stool nearby. Many of us think of pigeons as dirty little birds that don’t do much good for society, like the Republican party. But this little squab, who landed on the fence nearby and I named Walter, seemed different and conjured up my thoughts on KFP, who proudly proclaim, “we do pigeon right.”

The final shot was taken as I was walking down near the lighthouse and came upon this pelican, who was just a few feet off the path. Since he allowed me to get within a few feet of him, I immediately thought that he was either sick or a fan of the blog . He was an absolutely beautiful bird and his feathers gleamed in the sun, much like my hair does after using my daughter’s tropical coconut shampoo.

Pelicans along the west coast have had health problems in the recent past and this fella looked hungry, so I put a $20 bill in his bill and pointed him in the direction of the Crow’s Nest. There he ordered an ice tea, the calamari appetizer and a fish taco, and then flew out of there without leaving a tip. So now we know he must have been sick, because in the bird world, pelicans are known as very good tippers.

Let’s move on to the late night, “Something very suspicious happened over the weekend. A car parked at, like, 45th and Broadway, very suspicious. And I’ll tell you the most suspicious thing about the whole episode was that the guy found a parking place. Thank God the car bombing was thwarted by an alert carjacker.” –David Letterman “The bomber’s name is Faisal Shahzad. What, is Snoop Dogg naming terrorists now? They’re still looking for his brother, Fo Shizzle. They don’t know where he is.” –Jay Leno

“Anyway, police raided this guy’s house. I guess it’s in Bridgeport, Conn. Some of the neighbors say the suspect told them he worked on Wall Street, so they were relieved to find out he was just a terrorist.” –Jay Leno “Authorities say Faisal Shahzad, the Times Square bombing suspect, went to terrorist camp in Pakistan. Honestly, who are these parents that are sending their kids to terrorist camp?” –Jimmy Kimmel “Yeah, they plucked a guy off a plane. They say he was a moody loner. Last year, he vacationed in the tribal regions of Pakistan. Well, no red flags there.” –David Letterman

“Speaking of terrorism, two new videos from the Pakistani Taliban seem to show that their leader, Hakimullah Mehsud, is alive, even though the U.S. thought he was killed. So, either our intelligence is wrong or they’re just shooting the new movie, ‘Weekend at Hakimullah’s.'” –Jimmy Fallon “The Iranian dictator, Ahmadinejad, is in town. He has got a busy schedule. Today it is the U.N. And then tomorrow, he’s going to be on ‘The Rachael Ray Show,’ filleting a camel.” –David Letterman “It’s Cinco de Mayo, or as they call it in Arizona: May 5th.” –Jimmy Fallon

“On Monday, British Petroleum promised to pay all necessary cleanup costs for this oil spill. And they said they will do it, no matter how much they have to raise gas prices.” –Jay Leno “British petroleum, these boobs running this operation, they said: ‘O.K., now wait a minute. It’s just going to be a P.R. nightmare. What can we do? We’ll give everybody a free tank of gas. All you have to do is drive your car right down next to the Gulf of Mexico.’ They say the oil spill has the potential to kill more wildlife than a Sarah Palin hunting trip.” –David Letterman “Well, scientists are predicting that the oil from the BP spill will eventually reach the shores of Florida. So if you hated visiting your grandparents before, wait until you’re hosing down their oily bodies after a long day at the beach.” –Jimmy Fallon

One more environmental note. There’s bad news for Crimson Tide fans, as thick blobs of tar have begun washing up on the shores of sweet home Alabama. These BP boys were about as prepared for this spill as I was for changing for my first diaper.

I spent Friday afternoon at a track meet in lovely Pebble Beach, and then triple jumped home and shot a cute sunset that evening. So with my camera as healthy as LeBron James’ elbow, we’ll continue to photograph life as we know here in this cold water paradise. I hope Sunday was a good day for all you mothers out there. We’ll catch you at the free throw line. Aloha, mahalo and later, Rajon Rondo fans.

Good morning and greetings, sports fans. Well, summer is in full swing as the dreaded June gloom is history. We now cruise into the fruits of July, which I believe are honeydew melon and the extra sweet tuscan cantaloupe. I usually like to start out the changing of the calendar with some spectacular color, but today we are going a different route, you might say, the road once taken. This is not to be confused with Bobby Frost’s the road not taken, which includes law school, medical school and traffic school. In the words of former Yankee catcher Yogi Berra, “When you arrive at the fork in the road, take it.”

I was going to blog out these sleek-bodied, sea birds nesting along West Cliff Drive back in June, but I realized that I had posted something very similar last year at around this time and the Hemingway in me said, “been there, done that.” I wanted something “fresh, exciting, so inviting to me” to kick off the July fireworks but then fate intervened.

I had taken a week off from my oceanfront activities to work on my doctorate and when I returned last week, I was in for a shock. Where there had once been over a couple dozen cormorants sitting on nests along with their mates, now there were none. The edge of the cliff was as deserted as a South Carolina Governor’s Award dinner. This was a eerie site, and I’m not talking Pennsylvania, as I had seen no eggs and certainly no young ones. I first thought that perhaps some unruly hooligans had come and scared them off. Either way, in the words of the group Spirit, “It’s nature’s way of telling you something’s wrong.”

Soon after making this unsettling discovery and ran into the most rabid of PCS basketball fans, Janet Burton, who informed me that last week she saw the cormorants “shredding and tearing up their nests.” My first thought was, was Janet hearing those voices again or were these Brandt’s cormorants not getting enough food and had to move on? Or perhaps it was the city’s upcoming budget cuts, the new revelations about the dangers of red meat or the mass confusion involving Michael Jackson’s estate. In the King of Pop’s words, “ABC, it’s easy as 123, doe re mi, that’s how easy wills can be.”

Just across the way that there were still cormorants sitting on nests, enjoying the incredible ocean view, which made this situation even more confusing. It was really quite disturbing, even more so than when McCain selected Sarah Palin as his running mate. Coincidentally, before they departed, the cormorants claimed they could also see Russia from their perch.

So let’s take a look at what we’ve got photo wise. As you see in the first shot, these black beauties have selected an gorgeous spot to raise their young. The male cormorant chooses the nest site, puts down first and last month’s rent and then attracts a female to it. Once paired in e-bird harmony, they build a circular nest on the ground made of seaweed, algae, grass, meth, sticks and stones along with names that will never hurt me. The male gathers the nest material, the female then builds the nest as the male then goes off to drink beer and watch “Baseball Tonight.”

Both the male and female incubate the eggs and both regurgitate food for their young, which is something I never got used to my parents doing. When the babies are born they are naked and helpless, which could also describe how a took my driver’s test and my years spent in the Peace Corps.

Over 3/4 of the world’s Brandt Cormorants reside in California, with most having second homes in either Tahoe or Plam Springs. Despite the high cost of housing, the largest numbers are found here on the central coast. June and July are usually the times when the reptilian-looking babies are born, so the fact that they are cleared out faster than supporters of Elliot Spitzer makes this even more of a mystery. I checked back a couple of mornings ago and the cliff was as empty as the stands at a Pittsburgh Pirate’s game. I vow to you, my cyber readers, that I will continue to search for the answers, and will not rest until I have uncovered the truth. Either that, or I will just make something up. That is my promise.

The late night boys are in reruns this week so we’ll go with a joke for a humor segment. Two ropes walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Get out of here. We don’t serve ropes in here.” The ropes go outside and one says to the other, “I have an idea.” He ties himself up, messes up his hair and goes back in. The bartender says, “Hey. No ropes.” The rope says, “I’m not a rope.” The bartender says, “You’re not a rope?” “Nope. I’m a frayed knot.”

You might want to worry, because there’s a lot more where that came from. Reports from Costa Rica tell me that Aimee’s camera broke on her second day but I’m sure she’ll come up with something for the guest blog. She’s an excellent sketcher. And Jason says he is speaking more Spanish than you’d hear at a Pau Gasol family reunion. Sources tell me they may try to squeeze in a few days in Honduras. That would be a real coup.

So that’s our report from the edge of the continent. Hope you enjoyed the holiday weekend and took a moment to think about what we were celebrating-that’s right, the invention of the barbecue. Which I believe was done soon after they signed the Declaration of Fireworks. We’ll catch you at center court at Wimbledon. Aloha, mahalo and later, Roger Federer and Andy Roddick fans.

Good morning and greetings, electorial college fans. Well, Tuesday’s gone with the wind and we are still buzzing about the history made by Barack Obama. That was a day like no other. While we were in the process of electing the first black President since the first season of Jack Bauer and “24,” I thought I would showcase what this historic morning looked like on the westside of Santa Cruz. The place was Natural Bridges State Beach, and the time was for change.

It was a beautiful morning as the sky was filled with interesting clouds, pelicans lined the both sides of the rock and the beach was a gathering place for local gulls. Add to the mix the great blue heron reflecting in the pond and it was great to be there just Joe Biden my time. At one point the heron took off and flew up into the iceplants. That’s where I took my final shot but my foot was on the line so it wasn’t a three-pointer.

To quote the late Buddy Miles, who was the drummer in Jimi Hendrix’s Band of Gypsys, “Well, my mind is going thru them changes.” It’s hard to believe we are finally done with this moron in the White House who has done a tremendous job of dividing this country while getting the rest of the world to depise us. Those days are over. The fact that Bush feels he has done the country no wrong and that history will prove him right on Iraq is somewhat galling, but with any luck Karl Rove, Condy Rice or his dog Barney will explain to him that the Obama landslide victory was a huge statement against everything he stands for.

A couple thoughts on Johnny McCain. I thought his gracious concession stand speech was the best thing he’d done in the campaign. If he had spoken like that more often instead of espousing “Joe the Plumber” or Obama as an “elitist” or “socialist” who parties with terrorists, he might be on his way to the White House instead of the early bird special. His choice of Sarah Palin as a running mate still blows what’s left of my mind. That he would actually believe that she was his best choice is just stupefying. As I’ve written before, I think she was a huge insult to the intelligence of the American voter and Americans spoke in huge volumes to this point at the ballot box on Tuesday. Goodbye Sarah, and don’t come back real soon.

So things are looking up. The country is in a mess but unlike the Oakland Raiders, at least we’re headed in the right direction. It’s a new dawn and there’s finally hope but it will not be easy. If we could backtrack for just a moment, here’s my favorite pre-election line of the week courtesy of David Letterman. “Today Barack Obama was compaigning in Florida and Virginia. And McCain campaigned in two states-panic and desperation.” On that note, enjoy the fall weather, the sights at the beach and have a fabulous sports weekend. We’ll catch you somewhere near the sideline marker. Later, Michelle Obama fans.

Good morning and greetings from the Pacific coast. Last week we took a look at a group of cormorants nesting on a shelf along West Cliff Drive. When I went to check them out later in the week I immediately noticed the females were sitting differently on the nests. That meant one of two things. Either there was a breakout of hemorrhoids or the eggs had hatched. Sure enough, it was baby cormorant central as most nests seemed to hold three youngsters. What made it challenging were the angry western gulls who were strafing my tender scalp in an effort to protect their black-coated friends. Fortunately I was wearing my “Mission Accomplished” safari hat which protected me from the attack.

I thought to myself, what an interesting place (photo #1) to raise a family. Right on the magical edge of the continent with waves crashing downstairs 24 hours a day. Great view and the rent is cheap. But as you can see from the final shot, not all of the cormorants are in the family way. You might say some are a still a little nervous, like they’re sitting on egg shells. These little ones will hang out until August when they’ll receive a map and their flight assignments.

Let’s move from birds to mammals. Scientists and gossip columnists at the Smithsonian Institution’s National Zoo have revealed they reversed a vasectomy on an endangered horse to allow it to reproduce naturally – the first-known operation of its kind on an endangered species. Immediately this question comes to mind? Why were they doing the scissors kick on this pony in the first place? Couldn’t they have told him to just stop horsing around or at the very least supplied this sacred stallion with a case of some extra large protection?

Veterinarians and racing fans said that the surgery was performed in October on a Przewalski horse named Minnesota. Luis Padilla, the zoo veterinarian who performed the reversal surgery with a spin move on the baseline, said the procedure was a first for this species and likely for any endangered species. The horses are native to China and Mongolia and were declared extinct in the wild in 1970. Since then several hundred have been bred and reintroduced to the wild in Asia along with enjoying the pleasures of a Mongolian barbecue.

“This is kind of interesting turnaround,” said Dr. Sherman Silber, a St. Louis urologist who pioneered reversible vasectomies in 13,000 humans and helped with the horse surgery. If I were in this guy’s office, the first thing I would do is turn around. “We’ve made so much progress because the human really is the perfect model.” I don’t know if you’ve been to a stable recently but I’m not sure if I agree with that visual assessment.

A similar surgery was successfully performed while Padilla was a resident at the Saint Louis Zoo in 2003 on South American bush dogs, which resemble Chihuahuas and former U.S. Presidents. They are classified as vulnerable but not endangered unlike our Commander-in-Chief, who would be classified as clueless and dangerous. By the way, this is my last shot at the administration for a while as I return to my kinder, gentler self.

The “temporary vasectomy” could have a significant effect on how animals are managed in captivity by giving zookeepers a new way to control the animal’s offspring without having to neuter them or use contraceptives that can change an animal’s behavior. How about just telling them to knock it off?

Minnesota, the 20-year-old horse, had a vasectomy in 1999 at his previous home at the Minnesota Zoo. Boy, they really gave a lot of thought into naming this stud puppet. A vasectomy may be performed on an endangered animal because of space constraints, the size of species or if an animal has already produced many offspring and its genes are overrepresented in the population, says Budhan Pukazhenthi, a reproductive scientist at the National Zoo’s Conservation and Research Center in Front Royal, Va. I’m not that impressed by this scientist’s theory but I would love to use his last name in my next Scrabble conquest.

Scientists later realized Minnesota was one of the most genetically valuable horses in the North American breeding program based on his ancestry. Do you think a little research before might have be prudent so they wouldn’t have had to play snip to my lou. Zookeepers hope to find a suitable female for Minnesota in July. So far they’ve contacted eHarmony.com, Cupid.com and Yonkers Raceway.

Cheryl Asa, director of the American Zoo and Aquarium Association’s Wildlife Contraception Center, said the reversible vasectomy could be useful in isolated cases but probably won’t be adopted broadly. That good news for members of the animal kingdom. As for myself, when I’m thinking reversible, I’ve thinking jackets or maybe a practice jersey. As you can see, I’m more into sniping than snipping.

So there goes another week of blogging with the stars. I hope you are enjoying our summer program here on Monterey Bay. So enjoy the baby cormorants, have a fabulous weekend and we’ll catch you on the last day of June. Aloha, sports fans.