Good morning and greetings, Mesozoic Era fans. I was thinking of not posting a blog this week because of the tragedy in Santa Barbara. I just wasn’t feeling that funny.
My son Jason was in Isla Vista that night and close to the carnage. He knew Katie Cooper, who was one of six students killed and lived in the apartment building next door to where he was visiting. And he worked with Chris Martinez, who was gunned down in front of a deli after going to get a sandwich for dinner. And a third student, George Chen, who was stabbed to death, was his friend Drew’s roommate.
This tragedy could have been much worse, as the shooter had three semi automatic handguns and 400 unspent rounds of ammunition in his car. All were purchased legally. Life goes on. And so does the insanity.
As children, we learned that a long, long time ago, well before the birth of Larry King’s grandparents, dinosaurs roamed the planet, as all of the earth’s continents were joined together as one.
But then around 65 million years ago, scientists believe a massive meteorite hit the Yucatan Peninsula of Mexico. The impact blocked out all sunlight, and with no food or tacquerias open, the dinosaurs were sent into extinction. This significantly changed the Earth’s ecology and provided a massive boost for the tanning industry.
A 112-mile-wide crater was created by a rock six miles in diameter. It hit the Earth with immense force, sending shockwaves around the planet, with nothing larger than big dogs surviving. But some species lived on, including fish, sharks, jellyfish, lawyers and TV agents.
People have always been fascinated by dinosaurs. Many of today’s scientists studying these supersized creatures said they got interested after viewing the movie “Jurassic Park.” In the words of the book’s author Michael Crichton, “God creates dinosaurs, God kills dinosaurs, God creates man, man kills God, man brings back dinosaurs Dinosaurs then eat man…Woman inherits the earth.”
Or as Dutch philosopher Desiderius Erasmus once tweeted back in the early 1500’s,” Women, can’t live with them, can’t roam the earth without them.”
So when I ran across this story written by Michael Warren for the Associated Press, it spoke to me. It wasn’t so much that another dinosaur fossil was discovered, it was that it could have been the largest creature ever to walk on the face of God’s green earth.
We’re talking about the Big Kahuna, one that would make the Tyrannosaurus Rex look like a pip squeak.
Or as Porsche’s former Chief Executive Officer Wendelin Wiederking once remarked, “If size did matter, the dinosaurs would still be alive. Porsche, there is no substitute.
So here’s the facts. Scientists in Argentina uncovered bones of a super titanosaur that was as tall as a seven story structure and faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive and able to leap tall buildings in a single bounce.
Paleontologists say that this titanosaur could have been 65 feet tall and 132 feet long. Think two semi trucks, one after another, weighing the equivalent of 14 or 15 adult African elephants. On a good day, we’re talking about 165,000 pounds. To put this giant vegan’s enormous size into perspective, a T-Rex weighed about 7 tons. This big boy was not counting carbs.
The thigh bone discovered was eight feet long and fully dwarfed a grown man or a WNBA center. It had a long neck and tail and a surprisingly small skull that a yarmulke could fit on nicely.
Experts agree that this new find is a previously undiscovered species, and that it was at least as big as the Argentinosaurus, which had been thought to set the record for size.
Ruben Cuneo, the director of the museum sponsoring the dig, says “What they discovered is a cemetery of dinosaurs the likes of which we had never seen in the history of Argentine paleontology.” Scientists have only uncovered 20 percent of the find and already have found the fossils of seven other dinosaurs, a Che Guevara headband and a pair of sweat socks worn by the San Antonio Spurs Manu Ginolbi.
So they’ll keep digging. Because if you don’t know about the past, you don’t know your future. Or as I once told my rabbi, “What we need to know about the past is that no matter what happened, it has all worked together to bring you to this moment. And this is the moment you can choose to make everything new.” L’chaim.
Before we move on, here’s a few more fun facts about dinosaurs courtesy of randomhistory.com.
Dinosaurs dominated the Earth for over 165 million years, humans have been around for 2 million years, while the crime drama series,”True Detective” has been on for one season. It’s not TV, its HBO.
The Stegosaurus had the smallest brain for its body size of any known dinosaur. It was the size of a Chevy van, but its brain was the size of a walnut, so it was probably a little smarter than a giant fern or a Tea Party candidate.
And finally, paleontologists believe a Tyrannosaurus rex male reproductive organ might have been up to 12 feet in length. Whoa. You would have needed a chain saw for the circumcision.
Moving along to the photo arcade, today I am showcasing some semi silhouette action along the coast. I usually try to keep people out of my landscape shots, but sometimes it’s unavoidable. But today they are deliberately in play, as their dark outline provides an interesting contrast against the colorful back drop of clouds and sky.
On to some late night humor. “The Billboard Music awards were last night and there was an amazing hologram of Michael Jackson. He performed a new song called “Slave to the Rhythm.” It was so realistic, Tito actually asked it for money. Yeah, a Michael Jackson hologram at the Billboard Music Awards. Then he left to play golf with holograms of Tupac and Elvis. – Jimmy Fallon
“They say this season of “The Bachelorette” will have fewer hot tub scenes than previous seasons. Which explains the show’s new name: “What’s the Point?” A new study found that legalizing marijuana in Colorado has created more than 10,000 jobs. And that’s just selling lava lamps at Spencer’s Gifts.” -Jimmy Fallon
“A man from Houston is attempting to visit all the Starbucks locations in the world. It’s been four years since he started. He still hasn’t left Houston. A Japanese company unveiled a robot that can tell jokes and then detect if the joke was well received. In a related story, I start my shift at Quiznos tomorrow.” – Conan O’Brien “According to a new survey, fewer than 2 percent of hiring managers said they were actively recruiting graduates with liberal arts degrees. Said liberal arts graduates, “Latte for Karen.” -Seth Meyers
So birthday wishes go out to my wife, Allison, who turned 55 years young on Sunday. As I’ve said before, except for TiVo, she’s the best thing that ever happened to me. On these special occasions, I often harken back to the fateful day I met her, when her first words to me were, “When is this damn game going to be over?”
And then on Wednesday my Marin County based sister-in-law Wendi celebrates her special day, surrounded by friends, family and enough chocolate to take us through the NBA Finals.
We’ll catch you coming back from a painful injury and getting your team back into the Western Conference Finals. Aloha, mahalo and later, Serge Ibaka fans.