Good morning and greetings, row, row, row your boats fans. I don’t know about you, but I’m a wild dreamer. Now it’s perfectly understandable to dream about former classmates from high school. Then again, when you’re forty years removed from those wonder years and still dreaming about the lovely Denise Cinquino, you have to wonder what’s going on in the mind during the midnight hour. Thanks to Gary Wright, I never know what’s going to happen when I close my eyes and climb aboard that Dream Weaver train.

Over the years during my dream hours, I’ve partied with celebrities a plenty. David Letterman, Jim Carrey, Mel Brooks, Howard Stern, Charo-I’ve spent quality sleep time with all of these people over the last few decades. These dreams are very enjoyable, as compared to my reoccurring nightmares of not being able to find my car, not being able to see clearly where I’m driving, or NOT HAVING GONE TO CLASS SO THAT I’M NOT PREPARED TO TAKE THE EXAM.

If I’ve had this dream once, I’ve had it fifty times. It’s exam time, I haven’t been attending, and now I have to face the music. I love waking up to that feeling There are reasons why I dream this dream, but delving deeper into this issue would force me to confront things that not even Dr. Livingston would want to explore. It’s unresolved city.

Just last night, I had a wild and wacky dream, like when Seinfeld dreamt that the hamburger was eating him. I was being asked to take over as ruler of a small African country (seriously) because of the crops I raised. Unbelievable! What’s happening is that consciously, my life is fairly routine, but once I close my eyes my subconscious is having a party. I’m just lucky to be on the guest list.

So what is it about dreams? Here’s the story. In the first hour and a half after hitting the pillow, we’re go through deepening stages, going from light sleep to deep sleep, the kind I got during upper level math classes. When we enter REM or rapid eye movement sleep, your breathing, heart rate and shirt size becomes irregular. It is your deepest sleep. Your eyes move quickly and your brain activity rises towards the same level as when you’re awake, unless you’re a member of the Tea Party, and then there is no brain activity at all, day or night.

This is when our dreams are most vivid, when we go on these subconscious adventures that in many cases could never be scripted. We try to take away the worries of today and leave our troubles behind. In my case, that’s only the beginning. We go through this sleep cycle three to five times a night. I never worry when my head hits the pillow, because I know the Dream Weaver will help me reach the morning light.

Now here’s something that my Thai boxing instructor finds fascinating. During REM sleep, the rest of the body becomes paralyzed, like when I was reciting my wedding vows. According to Dr. William Kohler, the medical director of the Florida Sleep Institute, this is ”nature’s way of making sure you don’t act out your dreams, whether it’s repeatedly kicking your spouse or jumping off the bed and hurting yourself.” It’s nature’s way of telling you something’s wrong when if you’re about to swan dive off the bed at 2 am.”

Four out of five researchers that chew sugarless gum estimate that most people have more than 100,000 dreams in a lifetime. In an eight hour stretch, we spend two hours dreaming, while I spend the other six trying to locate my car keys. Dreams are a way of cleansing the mind, a kind of draino of the braino. We dream in order for a specific part of the brain, the medula fun zone, to sort through memories and events, trying to figure out which ones to keep and which ones to let go. In my case, I keep a rolodex of high school memories on active alert. Just ask Denise.

So why is it that we have wild and crazy dreams that come right out of a Fellini movie or Hayley Mills in “The Parent Trap?” It’s because, according to Dr. Kohler, “when we’re sleeping, the controls of our conscious mind are turned off.” So that explains me and Eleanor Roosevelt. As the brain sorts through different experiences and memories, it puts them together in strange and interesting ways. Thus my night with the Pointer Sisters.

Now I’ve saved the best for last. No, I’m not talking about those wonderful dream moments where I’m falling, being chased, about to be robbed or worse yet, forced to watch reality TV. No, I’m referring to appearing naked in my dreams. This is reoccurring dream 102. I’m somewhere, either at a poetry class, bowling alley, or my parent’s wedding and I’m buck naked, just wearing a smile.

Dream researchers say this is a very common theme, as nudity can symbolize a variety of things, including feelings of vulnerability, being caught off guard, or just flying free and not wearing any pants. Actually, in my naked dreams, no one else seems to notice. I certainly don’t mind the guys not taking a look but I’m a little hurt that the women aren’t glancing over to sneak a peek.

So for our final summer island photo adventure, we once again journey to the Garden Isle of Kauai. We start out with the sun making a morning appearance on the horizon in Poipu Beach, before heading to the north shore and the tarot fields, with the backdrop of the mountains above Hanalei. Next we view an island bird before checking out this green sea turtle, who hung out with his buddies all day in cove right off shore and loved the second season of “Louie” on FX. Photo credit for shot number two goes to my brother Brad, who still claims he saw a Miami Dolphin while snorkeling on the north coast.

We then take a look at a sampling of shells I collected at the absolutely gorgeous Tunnels Beach. We finish up with something special, a rarely photographed yours truly with his lovely daughter Aimee at the St. Regis Princeville Resort, which overlooks beautiful Hanalei Bay. As you can see from this photo, that is one dynamite view from the patio and not a bad shot of my blonde teen angel.

On to the late night. “President Obama described himself as an eternal optimist. He then explained that he’s the kind of person that sees the country as ‘half employed.’ Tim Pawlenty endorsed Mitt Romney, calling him a ‘bedrock conservative.’ When he heard this, John McCain said, ‘I grew up in Bedrock, and I don’t remember seeing him.’ “Rick Perry said he understands healthcare because his wife is a nurse. He also says he understands terrorism because he watched all the seasons of ’24.’ In high school, voted most likely to execute 200 people.” –Conan O’Brien

“President Obama said ‘No single individual built America on their own.’ When she heard that, Sarah Palin was like, ‘Hello? Paul Bunyan?’ “House Speaker John Boehner said that President Obama’s jobs plan merits consideration. Then he was like, ‘In fact, I’ll do it right now. OK, I hate it.’ “The government is about to release a report on what went wrong during the BP oil spill. Or as fish put it, ‘Hey, no rush.'” –Jimmy Fallon

“The candidates at the Republican debate looked like a board of directors that was lying about poisoning a river. “I tried to TiVo the debate and my TiVo fell asleep.” –David Letterman “Rick Perry and Mitt Romney squared off at the Republican debate. The only thing they agreed on was ‘shampoo, rinse, and repeat.'” –Jay Leno “Tonight was President Obama’s jobs speech and the NFL season opener. Which explains why Biden got confused and dumped Gatorade on President Obama.” –Jimmy Fallon

“The virus in the movie ‘Contagion’ is based on the bird flu which came out of nowhere back in 2008. Everyone thought it was going to change the way we live and it just faded away. Wait a minute, I’m talking about President Obama.” –Craig Ferguson President Obama wants to get Americans back to what we do best. He wants teachers teaching, police policing, firemen fighting fires, and the rest of us checking Facebook. Taco Bell is product testing a new taco with a shell made of a giant Dorito. Michelle Obama spent the morning watering the White House garden with her tears.” –Jimmy Kimmel

So that’s our final blast for the summer of 2011. Take a moment to feel grateful for all you have, because lots of folks out there are suffering. We’ll catch you breaking bats with a cut fastball. Aloha, mahalo and later, Mariano Rivera fans.

Good morning and greetings, solstice fans. For change of seasons lovers, there are only three times during the year that the hours of daylight and of darkness are equal – at the spring and fall equinoxes and during halftime of Super Bowl Sunday. During the fall equinox, which arrives this Wednesday, the sun crosses the equator, passes Go and collects $200. This provides the earth with 12 hours of sunlight, a get out of jail free card and a hotel on Park Place.

Thus begins the change that results in winter for the northern hemisphere and summer in the southern. When asked about this flip flopping of seasons, the Beach Boys commented, “the southern hemisphere girls with they walk they talk, they knock me out when I’m down there. The midwest farmer’s daughter’s really make you feel alright, and the northern hemisphere girls with the way they kiss the keep their boyfriends warm at night.”

After the fall equinox and the new TV shows hit the networks, the northern hemisphere of the earth begins to tilt ever so slightly away from the sun, which drives my daughter crazy, thus slowly decreasing the amount of sunshine received until winter solstice, after which the days begin to lengthen again. Or in the words of the group America, “Ventura Highway in the sunshine, where the days are longer, the nights are stronger than moonshine.” Yes, music is my mistress.

So when the fall equinox enters our lives on Wednesday, the northern hemisphere moves away from Donna summer, which we had for about an hour here in Santa Cruz, and results in the beginning of autumn. And if you know Donna, you know, “she works hard for her money, so hard for it honey, she works hard for the money so you better treat her right.” The hits just keep coming.

In New Orleans they celebrate Drew Brees and Fat Tuesday, which is also known as Mardi Gras. As we approach Chubby Wednesday on the seasonal calendar, inquiring minds might wonder, are there any other names for the Fall Equinox? Well, how’s about Autumn Equinox, Cornucopia, Corn on the Cob, Feast of Avilon, Festival of Dionysus, Woodstock II, Harvest Tide, Night of the Hunter, Day of the Jackal, Wine Harvest, Witch’s Thanksgiving, Witchy Woman and my personal favorite, Hotel California.

Now if you’re spiritual-minded like me, and live to meditate and breathe chocolate air, here’s an interesting perspective on the day from Tammy Burnsed of Associated Content from Yahoo Press. By the time of the fall equinox, most of the autumn vegetables, fruits, grains and medicinal herbs have been collected. Mother Earth, when not being pestered by Father Time, has once again provided an abundance of food for her children. The busy time of tending fields, harvesting and living without NBA basketball is almost done and though the work of storing and preserving foods and collecting nuts with the squirrels for the winter still lies ahead, it is time to take a moment of rest and give thanks for all that has been received.

As Diane Stein writes in Casting the Circle, “…with the death of the plants is the birth and the mystery of the seeds. All growth is held in suspension and silence within.” And as we know, coming into the new NBA season, the Miami Heat will be the top seed in the east, with the reigning champions LA Lakers the top seed in the west.

So with autumn slowly working its way into our starting lineup, for today’s photo fondue, we are going back to our beginning, or as Kenny Loggins and Jim Messina say, “maybe I’ll walk on back to Georgia, back this morning, back where I come from.” That would be to the wonderful world of sunrises, where I have found a niche and am very comfortable in this arena, although not as relaxed as I was at the Fabulous Forum during the Magic Johnson “Showtime” years.

The first four images are from one of only two sunrises I’ve shot during my digital days in the month of September. The first three were taken at Steamer Lane and as you can see, the sun reflecting off the water was an attraction I could live with. As the sun climbed upward, clouds continued to gather in the sky and I later returned to the cliff to shoot the rays filtering down onto Monterey Bay (photo #4.) Turns out the clouds were having a convention and I was one of the guest speakers.

The last two images are from a fabulous sunrise from late September of 2007. The final shot was taken in front of my favorite cypress tree along West Cliff Drive. I’m extremely fond of the silhouette action that this sapling brings to the digital table, as I am of the parmesan cheese and panko breaded chicken breast topped with a wine, garlic and butter sauce with sun dried tomatoes over mashed potatoes at Gilbert’s (no relation) Firefish Grill on the Santa Cruz Wharf. It’s the new Locals Only special and it is scrumptiously delicious.

On to the late night. “According to government auditors, the stimulus money is being held up because there aren’t enough government workers to oversee the spending. So follow me, in other words, government workers who aren’t there are needed to spend money we don’t have to create jobs that don’t exist. The Atlantic had a big article on the inevitability of Israel going to war with Iran over building nuclear weapons. But the White House thinks that strong economic sanctions will bring them to their knees, raise unemployment, and cause their factories to close – the same way those economic sanctions worked right here. This whole thing with Iran, it’s amazing how different our cultures are. In Iran a woman can get stoned for committing adultery. See, here in America, women commit adultery while getting stoned.” –Jay Leno

“Here’s a weather update from Florida. This week’s Koran smoke advisory has been lifted. That crazy pastor, remember he was going to burn the Koran, he’s now suspended it. … He said he’s now looking for directions from God on where to go. You know, I can’t speak for God, but I think if he grabs a shovel and starts digging, he’s heading in the right direction. “In the Delaware Republican U.S. Senate primary, Tea Party candidate Christine O’Donnell won a huge upset. Interesting woman, very conservative. She has come out against masturbation. So not only is she against politicians putting their hands in our pockets, she’s against you putting your hands in your own pockets as well.” –Jay Leno “New FBI statistics say that crime in the United States fell 5 percent from last year. Experts say the decrease in crime could be due to the aging of the population, increased incarceration, and many criminals finding jobs in the banking industry and on Wall Street.” –Jimmy Kimmel

So that’s it for our final post for the summer of 2010. I don’t know about you, but after this summer that would have left Mark Twain shivering, I’m going to get myself a warmer bathing suit. And if you have a spare moment, be extremely grateful for your good health. Unlike Jason’s free throw shooting at crunch time, it’s not automatic. We’ll catch you in the double coverage. Aloha, mahalo and later, Red Zone Channel fans.

Good morning and greetings, Elvin Bishop fans. That’s right, “I fooled around and fell in love” with my Canon Digital Rebel and as a result, we’ve created, celebrated and consummated the Sunrise Santa Cruz experience. So you may be thinking, why Elvin Bishop, why not Leo “You make me feel like dancing” Sayer or Don McLean, “Bye, bye Miss American Pie,” cake and ice cream? Well, the answer is that there is no LeAnn rhyme or reason, or in the words Jesse Colin Young, “I live on a ridgetop and lord knows, I like it just fine. Where’s it’s windy and foggy and I’m thinking about the blog most all of the time.”

So for today’s photo fun box we return to last Tuesday, which according to my Lindsay Lohan lunar calendar was June 2. The afternoon sky was full of all kinds of exotic clouds, leading me to believe that we might be in for some sunset hijinks. But as evening rolled in I found myself over on the eastside, attending a psychology class on Earthquake Awareness entitled, “Stop the blaming, it’s not your fault.”

Thus, I was not home to receive a phone call from my Aptos-based field scout, Jerry Hoffman, who at the time was during his Tiger Woods impersonation at the DeLaveaga golf course. Quoting my former Sportstalk radio partner, “There’s an incredibly bright rainbow extending arch to arch over Aptos” who then went on to say that he hadn’t seen anything that impressive “since we were judges at the Miss Miller Light Swimsuit contest down at the Boardwalk in the late 70’s.” That was as close as I was ever going to get to the Supreme Court and to this day I still wonder if we made the right decision in the historic Roe vs bikini.

So I missed the rainbow but was determined not to miss the sunset. But I found myself in Scotts Valley as the sun was dropping and the clouds were changing in texture. So I raced home like Paul Newman on a triple mocha latte to catch this cloud convention. As I approached the sound barrier along Mission Street, I was thinking that I was probably missing another photo opportunity. This had been pretty much par for the course (Pebble Beach) since back in October when the Warriors fell out of the playoff race. Back then it seemed like I had a great future behind me.

But this night, lady luck, instant karma and Diet Sprite were on my side as I drove up to a little park near my home. I long jumped out of my car just as the sun was dropping thru the clouds (photo #1) before setting over the mountains behind UCSC. The sky then turned some interesting colors-we had orange creamsicle, purplish pink and a little cherry garcia. It was the most colorful sunset I had seen in months which left me with the feeling of hope, crosby and gleason.

And then came the highlight of this June juncture-lighting, thunder and mosquitos the size of Buicks. I failed to capture the lightning but I did corral the thunder. Much like my introduction to electroshock therapy, after three good rounds of bolts it was over, and then giants raindrops fell for 30 seconds as the curtains and drapes came down on the evening. I heard from my buddy Bruce Meyers up in Contra Costa County that on Wednesday during his son’s championship little league game, a rainbow was glowing out in center field. I believe this is what John and the lovely Michelle Phillips were referring to when they wrote, “California Dreamin, on such a winter’s, er, spring day.”

On to the late night comedy experience. “Talk about a guy who won’t go away. How about Osama bin Laden? I mean, come on. And there’s another one of those aggravating tapes that he sends out from time to time and they put them on the Al Jazeera network. People say, ‘Well, how do we know this is a current tape?’ Well I’ll tell you how you can tell that this is a current tape. At the end of the tape, he wishes Jay luck on the new 10 p.m. show.
And in the new tape, it’s a long, crazy man, lunatic rant condemning President Obama. Oh no, wait a minute, that’s Cheney. That was Cheney doing that. How about that Dick Cheney? He’s really quite busy here lately. He’s talking. He says now that Saddam Hussein had nothing to do with 9/11. Well, no harm done. And to get that information, Cheney admits that he had to waterboard himself.” –David Letterman

“Did everyone see Brian Williams’ special with President Obama? Yeah? Anyway, in the special, President Obama showed Brian Williams what tricks his new puppy, Bo, could do. Isn’t that cool? Yeah, in fact, Bo has already learned to sit up and beg for federal bailout money.” –Conan O’Brien “Rush Limbaugh said today he might change his mind about something. I’m like, what?! He said he might support President Obama’s nominee for the Supreme Court. Wow! Sounds like someone got a new prescription.” –Craig Ferguson

“A new poll shows that Americans have a more negative view of Muslim countries now than back in 2002. That’s because the media never reports any of the good bombings. As part of their restructuring plan, General Motors is selling off an entire division to a Chinese company. The new division will be called General Tso’s Motors. Today in New Hampshire, the state Senate approved a bill that would help legalize same-sex marriage. Yeah. Their new state motto is ‘Live Free or Bi.'” –Jimmy Fallon

So that’s it for today’s regularly scheduled program. Tune in again next week as we’ll circle the animal planet and take walk on the wildlife side. Until then, enjoy the last two weeks of spring as Donna summer is rapidly approaching. And remember, every day (except Thursday) is sacred. We’ll catch you down in low post. Aloha, mahola and later, Connie Hawkins fans.

Good morning and greetings, winter solstice fans. Yesterday, December 21 was the Martin shortest day of the year. I haven’t seen it get dark that early since my parents shipped me off to summer camp right outside the Arctic Circle. Who knew penguins had feelings? I love the Johnny winter sky but I prefer the longer days of Donna summer.

The weather has been wet and wild here on the central coast. Across the midwest and eastern seaboard it’s been pouring snow and colder than a Elliot Spitzer holiday party. How cold has it been? In Chicago, Governor Blagojevich was trying to sell Senate seat warmers-Jay Leno. On Tuesday we had the white stuff come down in the Santa Cruz mountains. Not your Rocky Mountain blizzard or the New Jersey snowstorm where you go to sleep and you wake up and everything is Betty white. But it’s always unusual to see the powder along the central coast as I can remember one snowfall at the beach. That was back in 1976 and unfortunately I didn’t record the momentous occasion as was too busy concentrating on building the perfect snowwoman.

The first shot is the snow-dusted mountains above the wharf and the boardwalk. I then moved over to Lighthouse Point to show the storm clouds to the Oliver north. As the sky turned blue the clouds became more exotic so I returned to West Cliff in the afternoon and shot the cotton candy over Steamer Lane. For fans of the south side of the bay I included a photo of the snow in the mountains above Monterey before finishing off with a sunset shot that night from Stockton Avenue. All in all, a wild day on the cliff but as they say, there’s no business like snow business.

I couldn’t let the Bush shoe throwing incident go by without a few jokes from the late nite boys. Here are my favorites. The first three are courtesy of Jay Leno. As you know, yesterday in Iraq, President Bush was attacked by a ‘shoe-icide’ bomber. You see what he did to keep from being hit? Something he’s never done before. Lean to the left.” “Well, looks like we finally found something President Bush is good at. Dodgeball!” And “It’s not just President Bush, today somebody threw a pair of shoes at Sarah Palin. And she was very upset. She said, ‘Do you have these in black?’ and threw them back.”

These next three are from David Letterman. “You’ve got to give Bush credit. I mean, the guy moved pretty quickly. Too bad he didn’t react that way with Bin Laden, the mortgage crisis or Lehman Brothers.” “I don’t think Bush really has dodged anything like that, well, since the Vietnam War.” And “I’ve got to give President Bush credit for this, because he’s taking it all pretty well. He says that he’s actually happy about the shoe-throwing episode, because he says it proves finally that Iraq does, in fact, possess foot wear of mass destruction.”

And finally, this from Conan O’Brien. “The man who threw his shoes at President Bush is being hailed as a hero in Iraq. In fact, when he dies, he’ll be greeted in heaven by 72 podiatrists.”

Since we’re in the holiday spirit here are a few more, courtesy of Jay Leno. “President Bush, looking back on his terms in office, says he didn’t strive to be popular. So to use his own words, ‘Mission Accomplished.'” “He also made a surprise visit to Detroit today. I don’t want to say the people in Detroit are upset with him, but I understand auto workers threw brake shoes at him.” And finally, “An Arkansas woman has given birth to her 18th child. Pretty amazing. Today her husband announced they will stop homeschooling their kids due to classroom overcrowding.”

That’s the end of our regularly scheduled program. Birthday wishes go out to my old New Jersey pal Steve Margolin, who I have known for close to 50 years. We go so far back I actually pitched against him in a minor league championship game. I don’t want to say who won but you never get tired of being carried off the field on your teammate’s shoulders. And congratulations to the New York Giants, who secured home field advantage in the NFL playoffs last night with an overtime win over Carolina. That’s what I call a sweet Hanukah gift. So stay dry, enjoy the clouds and we’ll catch you in the open field. Aloha and later, Derrick Ward fans.