Good morning and greetings, nature fans. State park officials recently announced that because of budget cuts, seventy state parks across California will close starting in September. Holy Rosa Parks, that’s a 25% slice and dice. We’re talking beaches, redwood forests and parks with historical and cultural significance with rest rooms that haven’t been thoroughly cleaned in years. You would think at a time when vacation money is tight that the parks would be a natural place that would stay open, but this is not the case.

Governor Jerry Brown had to slash the budget and state public services got carved up like a honey-baked ham. Personally, I blame Arnold Swarzenegger for not being able to keep it in his pants.

Fortunately, one California State Park that escaped unscathed was Natural Bridges State Beach. So this is where our journey begins today as we are featuring that sleek, black sea bird that swims like Michael Phelps, the cormorant. Last week I saw a couple of huge flocks flying low to the water, furiously flapping their wings in a v-formation, as they were either on their way to feeding grounds or late for birds-only retreat.

So every weekday morning, after summoning up the courage to get out of bed, I knock back a couple of organic Pop Tarts and drop my kids off at school. I then head over to West Cliff Drive before settling outside the entrance to Natural Bridges, where my wife and I start our four mile, er two miles, er mile and a half stroll along our favorite street in Santa Cruz.

I am always excited in April when the cormorants return to this nesting spot on the edge of the cliff (photo #1) to build their nests, lay their eggs and discuss their hopes and dreams. I’m not sure if this is where they’ll actually mate, but who wouldn’t feel love in the air in a spot where the tides flow in and out, waves crash below you 24 hours a day and you can double date with pelicans.

Last year, a colony of these colonial nesters showed up at the usual time, built their custom homes but then halfway through the party abandoned this prime shelf of real estate. Local birders informed me in hushed tones that word on the street was that there wasn’t enough food and they were starving and forced to move on. It was very disturbing to have them leave so suddenly, but it was nature’s way of telling me something was wrong.

So at this point in late May, the females are sitting on the nests while their mates gather fish n’ chips and talk sports. Actually, both parents take part in building the nest and incubating the eggs, but the males get credit as the general contractor. I shot photo #3 last week so you can see what stage we are at with these sea birds. But just in case we don’t make it to the birth announcement stage, I threw in photos 5 & 6 from a few years back so you could see what these spanking new toddlers look like at birth.

Much like my time at Woodstock, the newly hatched cormorants are blind for their first three days on earth as well as buck naked. For the next five to seven weeks their mothers will sit on them, protecting their newborns from the wind, rain and natural predators like the nature photographer. And like my daughter’s worst nightmare, the babies are fed through regurgitation until they grow big and strong enough to fly off to join larger flocks or enroll in the Peace Corps.

It’s a west side treat to watch this magical event along the edge of the continent, from the flying in of the grasses, seaweed and dry wall for the nests to the lamaze births of the babies, all done out in the open in Pacific Ocean time. If you want to check it out, just park in the upper lot at Natural Bridges and walk outside the entrance and voila, you’re at cormorant nesting central. If things go according to plans, the chicks will hatch and then they’ll hang around through the summer with day trips to the Boardwalk, Monterey Bay Aquarium and Phil’s Fish House. For us locals, it’s like watching Animal Planet on the big screen of life.

On to the late night. “They found so much porn at Bin Laden’s compound that they’re investigating whether the porn was used to send coded messages. So remember guys, from now on when your lady catches you, you’re not looking at porn, you’re analyzing coded messages. ‘Honey, I wasn’t looking at porn. I’m in Al Qaeda.'” –Conan O’Brien “They have found Osama bin Laden’s diary. Some entries: ‘Very unhappy with TV reception. Death to Time-Warner.’ ‘Three wives, one bathroom, you do the math.’ The final entry: ‘Dear Diary, can’t talk now. Someone’s at the door. Hope it’s the Domino’s guy.'” -David Letterman

“President Obama’s approval rating, which got a bump after killing bin Laden, has slipped again. Which is really bad news — not for the president, for Moammar Gadhafi. President Obama suggested that Israel should go back to the pre-1967 borders. Native Americans said, “Why stop there? Let’s go back to the pre-1492 borders.”–Jay Leno

“I’m Conan O’Brien, or as I can now publicly call myself, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jr. Schwarzenegger secretly fathered a child outside of his marriage 10 years ago. He told his wife at the time but it took 10 years for her to figure out what he was saying.”—Conan O’Brien “There have been rumors going around for years now about a half Austrian, half Mexican baby who could bench-press a Ford Expedition.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“Arnold Schwarzenegger fathered a lovechild back in 2003. He’s been taking care of the child financially, providing healthcare and education — the same stuff he took from every other child while he was governor of California. “I guess ‘love child’ is a nicer term than ‘OK-Maria’s-asleep child.’ The woman was an employee. I’m not sure what she did, but I think she worked on Arnold’s staff.” -Craig Ferguson “Arnold Schwarzenegger admitted that he fathered a child with a member of his household staff. He kept this secret for more than 10 years. You know how he did it? He moved the woman and child into an apartment right down the street from the Pakistani military academy.” -Jay Leno

“Mitt Romney raised over $10 million in eight hours. That’s a dollar for every position he’s had on healthcare.” -Jay Leno “Ron Paul announced that he will run for president, and he supports the legalization of prostitution and heroin. If he does win, it will be one heck of a victory party.” -Conan O’Brien “Al-Qaida has a new leader. It’s quite a success story. He worked his way up all the way from the mail bomb room.” -David Letterman

So that’s our pre-Memorial Day weekend blast. Birthday wishes go out on Wednesday to my life-partner, soul mate and sports-loving wife Allison, who as you can imagine, has put up with plenty from yours truly over the years. And on Saturday, it’s that special day for my Marin-based sister-in-law Wendi, a faithful reader of this blog who lives life like every day is summer camp. So enjoy the singing cicadas, NBA conference finals and we’ll catch you in overtime. Aloha, mahalo and later, Maria Shriver fans.

Good morning, bird lovers. If you live on the central coast and you spend time at the magical place known as the edge of the continent, then birds are part of your daily vision. Whether strolling, running and recycling along West Cliff Drive, there is non-stop bird action. It could be chains of pelicans gliding in and out of the fog, gulls circling in the wind or large groups of cormorants flying in a straight line formation. That last group is the aviary organization we’re going to peruse today.

As I was walking along the cliff last week I noticed the cormorants hanging on their usual shelf just south of Natural Bridges. A observant friend pointed out that they were nesting and I was immediately intrigued. As I watched the females dust and clean around the nests I noticed the white objects they were sitting on. Eggs, glorious eggs. So I ran home, had a piece of toast, did a few push ups and then grabbed my camera and starting jump shooting away.

I see Brandt’s Cormorants every day and it got me to wondering, what is their story? What turns them on, what makes them tick, what are their names and on what streets do they live? So here’s the scoop. They are a medium sized bird who, like myself, have a sleek black body. This group is not to be confused with the double crested cormorant, because as we know, 4 out of 5 dentists recommend the double crested for their patients who chew gum.

Brandt’s Cormorants are common in California; over 3/4 of the world’s population resides here and have second homes in Palm Springs. Despite the high cost of living, the largest numbers are in central California. The bird is named after J. F. Brandt, a Russian naturalist who first described the bird in 1838 and first spelled it correctly in 1839.

Along the central coast hundreds of Brandt’s Cormorants are often seen flying in long lines near the water’s surface as they furiously flock to their feeding ground and doctor’s appointments. A group of cormorants has many collective nouns, including “a flight of cormorants”, “gulp of cormorants”, ” rookery of cormorants”, “sunning of cormorants”, a “swim of cormorants” and my personal favorite, a “sh**load of cormorants.”

Brandt’s Cormorants are colonial nesters, not to be confused with Eliot Nesters. A breeding adult has bright blue skin under its bill which is gray in nonbreeding season because gray goes with everything. The male Brandt’s Cormorant chooses the nest site, puts down a deposit and attracts the female to it. Once paired, they build a circular nest on the ground of seaweed, algae, grass, hash, moss, weeds, seaweed, sticks, rubbish and leggos. The male gathers the nest material and the female builds the nest while the male then watches sports on TV. Pairs may reuse the nest, adding more material and perhaps a second level or a deck in the following years. Both the male and female incubate the eggs, and both regurgitate food for the young, which is something I never understood my parents doing. When the babies are born, they are like I was most of my freshman year at Syracuse, naked and helpless.

Under breeding conditions, the adult Brandt’s Cormorant is very impressive with white plumes on the head and an exotic display of a colorful blue throat pouch. Here on the central coast of California, the displays and the NCAA tournament are underway in March-April, eggs are laid in during the NBA playoffs in April-May, youngsters are in the nest as baseball takes center stage in June-July and battles for custody and visitation rights get underway in August. When the eggs hatch, the youngsters look almost reptilian. It will take six weeks for them to grow to full size before they fully mature and start playing one parent against another.

So that’s it for part one of the Brandt Cormorant Family Saga. I will be watching those nests along West Cliff as closely as voting officials in Florida for when those youngsters hatch. I’ve seen photos of the babies and they are stranger looking than a Jerry Springer all-star team. So enjoy the nesting action and we’ll catch you on Wednesday. And remember to extend your hands on defense for deflections. Later, aloha and I’m out.