Good morning and greetings, prom night fans. As you know, I like to report on the important news stories and trends of the day. Last week, I wrote about the dynamic duo of milk and cookies, a subject I am quite familiar with due to my ongoing research and subsequent weight gains. As Jenny Craig’s nutritionist once told me, “I try to keep losing weight, but it keeps finding me. But I often think back to the words of Drew Barrymore who once said, “I’d rather be a few pounds heavier and enjoy life.”

So while we’re on that subject, here’s a couple of helpful tips from a Mr. Larry Wentz when it comes to weight loss. Only eat food that you can catch and kill with a toothpick and even better, weigh yourself with only one foot on the scale. Or as Julia Child told Richard Simmons, “The only time I eat diet food is when I’m waiting for a steak to cook.”

Well, speaking of meating and greeting, as part of my vegan diet that includes beef, poultry and fish, I like to dine on the occasional cheeseburger and fries. It’s not so much that I enjoy the taste of these two American food staples, it more like a colonic cleansing of my digestive system. And what condiment goes hand-in-mouth with these two delectable dishes? Our friend, the Duke of Ketchup.

According to Piper Weiss of yahoo.com, an estimated 97 percent of American households have a bottle of ketchup or vodka in their refrigerators at this moment. If you’re like me, and that’s saying something, you prefer Heinz’ original recipe, which consists of tomatoes, vinegar, high fructose corn syrup, salt, spice, onion powder and some other “natural flavorings” the company and the Defense Department isn’t required to list.

But before Heinz, ketchup, sweet and sour sauce, black bean sauce, apple sauce, Santa Claus or even catsup, there was katchop. Many believe the name is derived from the word koechiap or ke-tsiap, which comes from the Amoy dialect of China. Roughly translated, these words mean the brine of shell fish and yes, you can super size those fries. This Chinese condiment, from which our can’t live without burger, hot dog and french fry topping originated, was nothing more than shellfish brine, not the red devil that we lather on like shaving cream.

But hold on to your golden arches, as this mixture of tiny sea creatures, soaked for days in pickling vinegar and the Colonel’s secret herbs and spices, was the basis for the delectable dip we know, love and worship today.

When British explorers caught wind of it in Singapore in the 1700s, they brought it back to their own Western European kitchens along with a large order to go of chow fun, lo mein and cream cheese filled won tons. The result was the first ketchup recipe, a mixture of vinegar, gene shallots, spices, horseradish, anchovies, paulie walnuts, mushrooms, kidney beans alongside a boatload of napkins.

The first English recipe on record, published in a 1727 cookbook, called for 12 to 14 anchovies and zero tomatoes. We’re not talking about that sweet and tangy sauce made from pureed tomatoes. It was really more of a fish recipe than a condiment, but without the Food Channel, who knew?

Ketchup made from pickled oyster juice was another early popular dipping sauce, something I wouldn’t even serve to the Taliban. Other early versions of ketchup had flavors like blueberries, lemon, grape, watermelon and strawberry mango. It wasn’t until the 1820’s that tomatoes got involved in the mix, as Heinz brought the bottled version to homes and Burger King in the 1870s.

But let us not forget that Heinz also introduced ‘funky purple’ and ‘blastin’ green’ EZ Squirts ketchup, along with pink, orange, teal and blue versions of America’s favorite condiment. I don’t know about you, but I like my ketchup red, the same color as my high school gang, the Anderson Avenue Bloods.

Due to a tomato shortage during World War II, Filipinos began making ketchup out of the abundant banana crop, yielding a much sweeter brownish yellow sauce which was then dyed red. Filipinos liked banana ketchup so much that it has outsold tomato ketchup ever since and the Abu Sayyaf Terrorist Group swears they would never consider kidnapping helpless tourists and holding them for ransom without it.

Here are a couple more fun facts. The French, who have made surrendering an art, recently banned ketchup in many schools to discourage obsessive dipping and in particular, double dipping. Ketchup is similar to wine in that there are good and bad ketchup years depending on the tomato harvest. I can remember back in the early days when my wife and I were first dating, we would go out to West Cliff at dusk and open a bottle of ketchup and watch the sunset.

And finally, let’s finish this segment off with a joke that has nothing to do with ketchup. A penguin walked into a bar and said, “Has my father been in here today?” The bartender said, “”I don’t know, what does he look like?” The penguin said, “He was wearing a tuxedo.”

For today’s photo discourse, we are once again heading up the North Coast to Hole-In-The-Wall Beach and Panther Beach. If you are wondering where the first name came from, check out photo #3. The natural beauty of these beaches is as stunning as my modeling portfolio, and colors of the limestone cliffs (photo #4) are nothing short of spectacular. And as a bonus, the waves were booming the whole time while my daughter and I were there, creating a show of spray (photo #6) that was well worth the price of free admission.

On to some late night. “There was a huge fundraiser for President Obama at George Clooney’s house last Thursday night. They raised over $15 million. Actually, one awkward moment: When they were handing President Obama the check… the Chinese ambassador stepped in and said, ‘I believe that belongs to us.'” –Jay Leno “President Obama and Mitt Romney both gave commencement speeches over the last few days. Obama was like, ‘You can be whatever you want to be,’ while Romney was like, ‘I can be whatever you want me to be.'” –Jimmy Fallon

“During his commencement speech at Liberty University, Mitt Romney revealed that his campaign staff loves Chick-fil-A. The other thing he revealed? — that he doesn’t know what to say in a commencement speech.” –Jimmy Fallon “When Mitt was in prep school he led a pack of his friends to forcibly hold down this sensitive gay kid as he screamed and cried, and then cut off his hair, because he had too long hair for Mitt’s tastes. And today Mitt’s dog said, ‘I thought I had it bad.” –Bill Maher

“I don’t know what it’s like at your salon, but at mine, isn’t the guy cutting the hair the gay one?” –Bill Maher “This has become quite a story; the Washington Post reported that Mitt Romney, while in high school, bullied a gay classmate. Did you hear about this story? In his defense, Romney said that he didn’t know the kid was gay; he just thought he was poor.” –Jay Leno

“Today Newt Gingrich didn’t agree or disagree on the gay marriage thing. However, he did say there should be a term limit on all marriages.” –Jay Leno “Facebook founder and CEO Mark Zuckerberg turned 28 this week. He got a watch from his girlfriend, a sweater
from his parents, and from the rest of us, all of our credit card numbers.” –Conan O’Brien “As of Friday you’ll all be able to buy shares of Facebook. This is perfect for anyone who’s ever logged on, looked at pictures of their friend eating a sandwich, and thought, ‘Now there’s a sound investment.'” –Conan O’Brien

So that’s our pre Memorial Day weekend blast. Birthday wishes go out on Friday to my lovely wife Allison. Not a day has gone by in the last 24 years that I haven’t wondered, did she really marry me just for my looks? As I’ve said before and I’ll say again, besides TiVo, she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Not everyone gets so lucky.

And on the same day my old Motown pal, Marc Techner, celebrates his birth rite. Marc grew up in Detroit and now lives right off the beach on the west side of Santa Cruz. That’s called trading up.

We’ll catch you showing NBA fans what being classy and a champion is all about. Aloha, mahalo and later, Tim Duncan fans.

Good morning and greetings, summer weather fans. It’s the time of year that folks jam Highway 17 to flock to the beaches here on the central coast. As for myself, due to the fact that the sun is no longer my friend and the water temperature (57 degrees) is a tad cool, you won’t find me frolicking in the waves or burying myself in the sand. And besides, with the chilliness of the water, in the words of George Constanza, we are looking at “significant shrinkage.”

So when I ran across a story written by Paul Rogers in the San Jose Mercury News that may affect beachgoers here on Monterey Bay, I
wanted to get the word out to the people.

Back in March, Japan was hit by an devastating earthquake and tsunami that decimated the landscape north of Tokyo. It was truly March Madness. Millions of tons of debris, including everything from couches to convertibles to chop sticks, were swept into the ocean. This conglomeration is now floating in the Pacific and heading towards the west coast. More than 200,000 buildings were washed out to sea by waves the size of Godzilla. This has created a floating concoction of rubbish never before seen on the open seas, the History Channel or at a Tea Party convention.

Like a floating flea market of assorted junk, this giant mass is moving
across hundreds of miles of the open Pacific. We’re talking cars,
boats and even fully furnished homes that are bobbing along in the Pacific, which could create real problems for ships, marine life and Somali pirates. By the way Russell Crowe flies, it is expected to say aloha to the Hawaiian Islands by next spring and hit the beaches in California, Oregon and Washington in 2013 or early 2014. It will give new meaning to the term “the coast is clear.”

This body of awful Japanese memories is moving at a rate of about 10 miles a day, or the same distance I run twice daily in preparation for the Ultra Ironman Triathlon. It is spread out over an area about 350 miles wide and 1,300 miles long, which is basically the size of California without Starbucks or In-N-Out Burgers. What makes it even trickier is that neither scientists or skim boarders know the exact density of this mess, as to what is still floating and what, like my hopes of my future being ahead of me, have sunk.

The Pacific Ocean is a rather large glass of water, as there is about 3,800 miles of wide open ocean between the land of the Rising Sun and Waimea Bay. If the debris doesn’t make it to our shores by 2014,
it will end up in the “North Pacific Garbage Patch,” a lovely little spot
1,000 miles west of California where plastic goes to die. Reports
say it is three times the size of Texas and that several dozen abandoned yachts have been spotting in this floating continent of litter. I believe it all comes down to the the scene in “The Graduate” when a Los Angeles businessman takes Dustin Hoffman aside and declares, “I just want to say one word to you — just one word — plastics. There’s a great future in plastics.”

So coming to our shores sometime in the near future, the newest
Japanese import, a gigantic floating mass of tragedy never before seen, courtesy one of the great natural disasters of our lifetime. No one knows for sure how much of an environmental mess this will result in, but either way, it will certainly be an unfortunate and inconvenient truth.

So while we’re on the subject of beaches, I thought for our photographic test flight that we would journey up to one of the hidden jewels of the north coast, Panther Beach or as others prefer, Hole-In-The-Wall Beach. The color of the sandstone cliffs here is beyond amazing, as are the number of sea stars and sea anemomes that
cling to the jagged rocks. This wind-swept spot is just south of Davenport, less than ten minutes from the westside and well-worth the trip. And here’s a little tip-the beach is only accessible at low tide, so check your charts before you head north.

Now for a little late night. “North Korea has shut down all of its
universities for 10 months so students can work in factories. Or, as they call it in North Korea, ‘spring break.'” –Conan O’Brien “We’re celebrating our independence from the British. I hope that in a
couple years, we’ll be able to celebrate our independence from the
Chinese.” –David Letterman “The Senate canceled their vacation to work on the budget. Either they really can’t agree or they’re looking for an excuse to not go on vacation with their families.” –Jimmy Kimmel

“The government is warning that terrorists may try to blow up airplanes by implanting bombs under their skin. The airlines responded by saying they’ll charge any terrorists that do this a $50 carry-on fee. “According to the New York Times, a cell phone found in Osama bin Laden’s compound had phone numbers belonging to Pakistan’s intelligence agencies. But authorities say it’s unlikely they ever spoke because apparently bin laden had AT&T. “A new study shows that home births are up 20% in the united states. More and more moms are giving birth at home. Or as in Arnold Schwarzenegger’s case, giving birth in the home they’re cleaning.” –Jay Leno

So another week is in the books. For Yankee fans, history was made on Saturday when Mariah Carey’s favorite Bronx Bomber, Derek Jeter, became the first pinstriper in history to collect 3,000 hits in a career. The Yankee shortstop embodies what is great and classy about sports, and that fact that he reached this epic mark with a home run on a 3-2 pitch, went 5-5 on the day and had the game-winning RBI made it even better.

So enjoy the warm days of “Friday Night Lights” and we’ll catch you around the batting cage. Aloha, mahalo and later, Minka Kelly fans.

Good morning, beach lovers. When a old friend flew into town back in May, despite the fact that she’s a Red Sox fan I decided to show her a few of the tasty treats on the north coast. One place I thought she’d like is Hole in the Wall Beach.   And in case you’re  wondering where the name comes from, just check out the first photo. When you come down the steep path from the parking area you are greeted by Panther Beach to the right and this massive arch.   This truly amazing sight is less than ten minutes from Santa Cruz and one of the hidden wonders of the north coast.

Hole in the Wall offers a beautiful wind-swept beach, towering cliffs and spectacular rock formations (photo #4.) This jewel along the coast is only accessible at low tide and has more natural beauty than a Miss Hawaiian Tropic contest. Nature has gone wild with sea stars (photo #5) of every race, creed and color and tide pools packed full of sea anemones (photo #6.) This is a place you definitely want to visit.  Bring and friend and a camera.

It’s also a great place to toss around a frisbee. And speaking of toys, it’s hard to believe in the age of iPhones, Xbox 360s and educational video games like Grand Theft Auto, that the Hula Hoop once was the hippest toy around. That’s right, boys and girls. All the hoopla began 50 years ago when entrepreneurs Richard Knerr and Arthur “Spud” Melin sought a trademark for a plastic cylinder based on a similar toy that had enjoyed modest success in Australia’s school yards. Before long, the Hula Hoop had more hips swiveling than Elvis Presley on amphetamines.

Wham-O Inc. sold more than 100 million Hula Hoops at a suggested retail price of $1.98 apiece after just a year on the U.S. market. In the words of Bob Barker, “the price was definitely right.” “It became a real piece of Americana,” says toy historian Tim Walsh, whose book about Wham-O is scheduled to be published in October. Just like baseball, apple pie and cigarettes.

The Hula Hoop became so ubiquitous that the former Soviet Union banned the toy as a symbol of the “emptiness of American culture.” In response, the United States banned borscht as a symbol of ” a really weird colored soup” and forbid Americans from playing Russian roulette.

Not long after that, the Hula Hoop became a glaring example of the toy industry’s now familiar boom-and-bust cycles. Almost as quickly as they became a household staple, millions of Hula Hoops began collecting cobwebs in garages, closets and malt shops across the country. “The Hula Hoop was the grandaddy of all fads,” says Chris Guirlinger, Wham-O’s vice president of marketing and licensing. This was followed by Pet Rocks, the Chia Pets and voting Republican.

Like a Brett Favre pass in the NFC Championship Game, Hula Hoop’s downward spiral nearly ruined Wham-O, which had increased production to satisfy the once-frenzied demand for the toy. Fortunately, the company had developed another offbeat toy – a flying disc called the Frisbee – that took off just as Hula Hoop sales plummeted.  I could be wrong, but I believe this Frisbee thing is starting to catch on-no pun intended.

Saddled with a glut of unwanted Hula Hoops, Wham-O stopped manufacturing the toy until 1965, when Knerr and Melin came up with a new twist: They inserted ball bearings in the cylinder to make a “shoosh” sound. That helped revive interest in the Hula Hoop, which still makes money for Wham-O. Ironically, I threw out one of these “shooshers” two nights ago as it had snapped. As a youngster I had a Hula Hoop. I loved putting backspin on it so when I would throw it out it would come spinning back to me. That’s unconditional love between a boy and a piece of plastic.

Wham-O has had other iconic toys like the Superball, Slip ‘N Slide and the Make Your Own Diet Pizza Oven, but none of them came close to enthralling kids like the Hula Hoop once did. But the Hula Hoop might be poised for another spurt in popularity. It’s one of the activities featured in a new Nintendo Wii video game promoting physical fitness. Sadly, at this point in life, I prefer hula dancers to hula hoops.

That will do it for another week in the blog land.  Coming up on Monday we’ll return to the color in the sky.  So enjoy the Hole in the Wall, have a great summer weekend and we’ll catch you on the offensive side of the line.  Aloha, Yankee fans.