Good morning and greetings, February fans. We are now in the midst the shortest month of the year, although for many, Sunday might have seemed like the longest day. Forget about the game and the final score, as for many, it was all about Madonna, her dancers and what was served up on the super menus. So on that foot-long note, let’s take a postgame look at what might have been ingested on the food front during Super Bowl Sunday.
For the NFL faithful, party lovers and die-hard Pilgrims, Super Bowl Sunday is the second largest day of food consumption behind Thanksgiving, although for me, it’s usually a fast day. What this means is that during the game the average Super Bowl watcher consumes 1,200 calories in conjunction with every first down and cheerleader cutaway shot.
The Institute of Avocado Awareness estimates that fans and Dorito lovers inhaled somewhere around 69 million pounds of avocados during the game, mostly in the form of guacamole, a dip that was first made by the Aztecs during the 1500’s to appease the Gods and drug cartels. They also believed the avocado to be an aphrodisaic, which led to the invention of the super burrito.
The most popular take-out and delivery items yesterday were pizza, chicken wings, sandwiches and any unhealthy edible item that a football fan can consume involving no preparation. Domino’s expected to sell 11 million slices of pizza and a boatload of chocolate lava crunch cake. Throw in some chicken parm and a liter of cherry Coke and I think we’ve covered all the essential food groups.
Americans ate approximately 100 million pounds of chicken and one cornish game hen, which breaks down to 1.25 billion portions or 450 million individual wings per hour. If I were a chicken, I’d make myself scarce during Super Bowl week. And if I had a hammer, I’d hammer in the morning, I’d hammer in the evening, all over this land.
Moving down the menu, an astonishing 14,500 tons of chips and 4,000 tons of popcorn, pretzels, nuts and bolts were eaten during the singing of the National Anthem. Salsa flowed like the River Jordan. It was the biggest winter grilling day of the year, as my wife kept on grilling me as to when the damn game would be over.
And according to the late Timothy Leary and 7-Eleven stores, there is a 20% increase in the sale of antacids on the day after the Super Bowl. We all know that Rolaids spell relief and that if you’re one of the 25 million Americans that suffer from heartburn on a daily basis, nothing works faster than TUMS. Or as I tweeted my cardiologist during halftime, “Plop, plop, fizz, fizz, oh what a relief it is.”
I’m not even going to mention how much beer, light beer and heavy alcohol was consumed yesterday but let me put it into perspective. If we thought of this amount of consumed liquid in terms of average rainfall, we wouldn’t be talking about a severe drought in the southern United States.
That being said, Super Sunday lived up to its billing, from the 20 hour pre-game show to the endless beer commercials showing how much fun life can really be. And as we all know, at the end of the day of food and football, it doesn’t really matter who won, but who covered the point spread. And that would be the Super Bowl champion New York Giants.
So on the photo front, let’s kickoff off February with a blast by going into the archives and pulling out my favorite sunset from this month. The year was 2006, as I shot this beauty from Stockton Avenue along West Cliff Drive. You could sense from the texture of the clouds that this night, like Mario Manningham’s catch, was going to be something special, and it did not disappoint.
The sky went from distinguished gray to outrageous orange to finally blood red, and these colors reflecting in the Pacific made for an outstanding night. Since I shot it on a Sunday, I named the final shot “Super Sunday,” which gives us all food for thought. And that leads me to the words of the great Oprah Winfrey, “Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down on your way to the Giant’s ticker tape parade.”
On to a little late night. “Now, Senator John McCain has gotten into the act; McCain says that the Republican debates have turned into mud wrestling. To which Herman Cain said, “I knew I got out too soon!” –Jay Leno “Newt Gingrich picked up an endorsement from Herman Cain. It’s not unlike getting Carrot Top’s endorsement for an Academy Award.” –Jimmy Kimmel
“President Obama told the nation ‘The state of our union is strong,’ while Newt Gingrich told his wife, ‘The state of our union is open.'” –Conan O’Brien “His State of the Union speech was written so 8th graders could understand it. Which explains the part where Obama said, ‘I wasted bin Laden, LMAO!'” –Conan O’Brien
“The government may be legally required to release the video of Osama bin Laden’s killing. President Obama said this would be unhelpful, inflammatory, and ‘Could you please release it two days before the election?'” –Conan O’Brien “In Florida, Mitt Romney won the Republican presidential primary election. He beat Newt Gingrich handily. Political analysts believe that elderly voters in Florida rejected Newt Gingrich because of fears that he would eventually leave them for a younger state.” –Jimmy Kimmel “It’s the first day of Black History Month. So if you’re watching me right now, it means you have completely missed the point.” –Conan O’Brien
Birthday wishes go out to the woman who gave me life and years of bottle feeding, my mother, Lee Gilbert, who celebrates her big day on Wednesday. At 86 years young, she is still going strong, as she has figured out how to turn on her computer and forward an email. Next up, how to print a document and turn the computer off.
And on the same day, my niece, the lovely Samantha Gilbert, turns sweet sixteen. Not only is she the Maria Sharapova of Marin County but also an expert on Japanese culture.
Then on Thursday, birthday greetings go out to my old grammar school classmate, Denise Cinquino, the woman who not once, but twice, turned down my invitation to go to the Woodstock Music Festival. The good news is that Denise, who hasn’t aged a day since our senior prom, has assured me that if I invite her again to three days of peace, music and mud, she’s in.
So that’s our Super Bowl report. It’s been a tremendous year for New York Giant’s fans, as this playoff run was one for the ages. We’ll catch you at the parade. Aloha, mahalo and later, Eli Manning fans.
