November 6, 2011

Waiter, There’s A Butterfly In My Blog

Good morning and greetings, west coast fans. Last week, the magnificence of humpback whales took center stage on Monterey Bay . This unannounced show was due to an abundance of anchovies and fried calamari that brought these giant creatures close enough to Dinah shore where they could be seen breaching, exhaling through their blowholes and making dinner plans at the Crow’s Nest. They were engaging in lunge-feeding, which involves moving quickly with their mouths open and engulfing their prey, a technique that I also find to be very effective at all-you-can-eat Chinese buffets.

This feeding frenzy became a national story and was featured
twice last week on NBC News with Brian Williams. I drove out on the wharf in an attempt to capture a slice of nature gone wild,
but from my vantage point my lens was just not big enough to make the magic happen, and as we know, size does matter.

We’ll take a look down the road at what my camera did capture, but today we are heading up to the monarch butterflies that gather at Natural Bridges State Park. I wanted to take advantage of the warm weather to get more than just an overall tan, and these orange and black beauties don’t drive or fly if it’s not over 55 degrees. And since the clock on my calendar said November, I knew the cold weather
would be coming, so I drove the half mile from my highly desirable upper
west side abode in search of monarch madness.

Now fifteen years ago, back when milkweed plants were as plentiful as gossip websites, there were 150,000 monarchs making an appearance in this neck of the woods. Five years ago it as 10,000, and now the total has fallen off drastically, where we our now looking at 2,000 to 3,000. My newest best friend Chris, an Interpretive Naturalist at Natural Bridges, put last week’s total at 2,700, which is a far cry from the glory days but still, well worth the trip to this little fluttering Garden of Eden.

So why are there so few monarchs where there once where so many? Last year, violent winter storms and the drug cartels did a number on them in Mexico. But the bigger problem is herbicides, pesticides, habitat loss, the Tea Party and bioengineered corn and soy, because the last three contain pesticides. The pollen will blow to adjacent milkweed and the insecticides will kill the caterpillar. And the only thing these caterpillars, who turn into the butterflies, will eat is milkweed. Well, that and a little baked brie and breaded pork chops. No milkweed, no monarchs. It’s as simple as that, or Herman Cain’s 9-9-9 tax plan.

But let’s not focus on the numbers. When you walk down the newly rebuilt wooden path that was badly damaged by a winter storm last year, you enter a place that dazzles your vision and takes your breath away. With the deep blue sky above, the warm sun kissed my face without leaving any lipstick marks, and as I looked up and around, the monarchs were all over the place, flying, floating and fluttering, which I found very flattering. It gave me a certain feeling of peace and tranquility, like when I get a good parking space.

It’s moments like this (and they are few and far between) when I feel things are still right with the world. Moments like this make me forget the senseless wars, health problems, economic crisis and most importantly, the NBA lockout.

As I stood there posing like a runway model, these colorful creatures were flying all around me, landing just a few feet away to feed and chat. I was surrounded by joy. It was the most relaxed I’ve been since my last colonoscopy, and being able to photograph them up close and personal was, along with viewing the whales, the highlight of the
week. Well, that and waking up and getting dial tone.

So here’s a few more fun facts. Monarch butterflies spend the winter along the Pacific coast in places like Santa Cruz and Pacific Grove because the weather here is cold enough that they can go into
reproductive diapause (similar to hibernation and what I do each January) but not cold enough to freeze, something that would kill a butterfly and put a crimp in my active social life.

The monarchs come to this particular eucalyptus grove at Natural Bridges because it is located in a canyon with shelter from the wind and filters sunlight to keep their bodies from freezing. They park also waives the $10 entrance free which is important as monarchs have been hit hard by the economic crisis and never carry cash.

Monarchs like to cluster in the trees (photo #1). They do this to protect themselves from the wind, rain and crazed moths. Clustering also makes it easier to find a mate and is a lot better than having to go to dating service websites like singleinsects.com.

To get to Natural Bridges, these monarchs fly 60 to 100 miles a day against the wind. They live six to nine months, so very few make long term plans. They follow the milkweed patches north from Mexico as the weather grows warmer. Each generation flies a little further north to lay their eggs and then establishes a family trust before dying.

If you get a chance on a warm day, head over to the Monarch Grove and check them out. You never know if they’ll be back next year, as life, much like my psyche, is a fragile as a butterfly.

On to the late night. “Remember Terry Jones, the pastor in Florida who
burned the Koran? That’s right; he is now a presidential candidate. You know what his platform is? Deporting every undocumented worker in America and imprisoning women who have abortions. Finally, the Republican Party has a moderate in the race.” –Bill Maher “Herman Cain told a group of Occupy Wall Street protesters to go home, get a
job, and get a life. That’s the Republican version of hope and change,
ladies and gentlemen. Michele Bachmann told reporters that she will lead the nation in prayer if she is elected president. You know if she is elected president, we all better be praying. She doesn’t have to lead us.” –Jay Leno

“A Libyan rebel has admitted to killing Moammar Gadhafi. He said he shot Gadhafi twice in the temple, to which Michele Bachmann said, ‘I didn’t even know the guy was Jewish.’ It seemed that after he was killed, Gadhafi’s body was stored at a commercial freezer at a shopping mall. It’s one thing to hunt a guy down and shoot him twice in the head, but then to drag him to the mall? Come on, guys hate that.” –Jay Leno

“Rick Perry has now accused Mitt Romney of hiring illegal aliens to work on his hair.” –David Letterman “President Obama is in Vegas for a fundraiser He spent the visit working on his new economic recovery plan, ‘Come on, seven!” –Jimmy Fallon “President Obama had his annual physical. Doctors say he is in excellent health, except his blood pressure. It’s 70 over 14 trillion.” –Jay Leno

“The United States government says it’s okay for British Petroleum to resume offshore drilling. Yeah! What could possibly go wrong? Just when I’m getting used to eating chowder without tar balls. I love the protests. And if you think about it, what better way to send a
message to Wall Street than by sitting in a pup tent banging on a
drum.” –David Letterman

“The New York Mets are planning to move the walls of Citi Field in order to increase the number of homeruns they hit. Call me old fashioned but isn’t that what steroids are for?” –Conan O’Brien “A lot of kids across the country got the day off from school because of Halloween. I’m pretty sure this is why we’re falling behind China. Not only did their kids not get the day off from school, they made all of our kids’ costumes.” –Jimmy Kimmel

So those are the first shock waves from November. I thought I had photographed my first sunrise of the fall last Saturday, but when I returned home, I discovered to my dismay and disbelief that my card wasn’t in my camera, thus no photos. In the words of Ralph Kramden, “You can’t put your arm around a memory.” And don’t even ask me about the unbelievably, all-time greatest double rainbow I thought I shot back in October. Trust me, it’s not pretty seeing a grown man cry.

So be glad we didn’t see any snow on the trees in October as last week the east coast was one big power outage. We’ll catch you throwing a deep crossing pattern. Aloha, mahalo and later, Eli Manning fans.

October 2, 2011

Gourd Of The Rings

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , — geoff @ 4:08 pm

Good morning and greetings, baseball playoff fans. Well, last week’s
weather picture on the central coast was wackier and more surprising than the former CEO of Godfather’s Pizza, Herman Cain, winning the Florida GOP presidential straw poll. Despite the fact that I’m a big fan of his mutiny, I would have opted for the straw.

Anyway, last Wednesday was simply the ideal Santa Cruz weather experience, as we had a perfect day with sunny skies, a warm offshore breeze and no fog in sight. I thought, well, Indian Summer has finally arrived here in the last week of September. Better late than neverland.

Then before I could say “God bless Robinson Cano,” I woke up on Thursday and the blue sky was solid gone, replaced by a light rain and misting fog. This was to the bewilderment of the locals, who were expecting to see either the father, the sun or the holy coast. It was quite a radical turnabout, but my heart was still globally warmed by this reminder to expect the unexpected.

So what to do as the rain fell upon the plains, trains and automobiles? My brother Brad had complained, er commented that he wanted to see some fresh images in the blog. So not wanting to leave a carbon footprint, I put my Lady Gaga poncho and headed out the front door to
shoot photos of the wonderful world of color in my moist front yard. You can see the results of my foray into nature in today’s six pack of pictorial pleasure. I was dew to take some new pictures, and here
they are, front and slightly off center. Speaking of which, on Saturday, I shot my first sunset of the fall up in Davenport which I’ll be showcasing next week on this blog-o-rama.

But we here on the central coast shouldn’t complain about the rain, which has caused major problems of all kinds back east. Now a
good portion of the eastern United States is facing a major shortage of
pumpkins. As a result of disease, severe weather and Red Sox karma, this will not be a banner year for pumpkin-picking.

The problem began with the heavy rains in spring and early summer, which led to flooding and a huge spike in umbrellas sales. This delayed the planting season for pumpkin farmers and caused an outbreak of a fungus called phytophthora that thrives in wet conditions and spelling bees. This fungus that was among us wiped out pumpkin patches put did wonders for local fungus fairs.

And if that wasn’t enough, Hurricane Irene devastated pumpkin growers with torrents of rain that overflowed rivers, flooded fields and washed up celebrities. Some growers had to rent mules to harvest their farms as the ground was too wet for tractors. One farmer in upstate New York saw his entire crop of about 15,000 to 20,000 pumpkins washed into Lake Champlain. It’s like the old nursery rhyme, where is pumpkin, where is pumpkin, in Lake Champlain, in Lake Champlain.

This is not to say the whole country will be suffering from the pumpkin
shortage, but it doesn’t sound like it will be the usual jack-o-lantern city back along the Atlantic seaboard. Can anyone say watermelon-o-lantern? There was a pumpkin shortage back in 2009, which turned into the great pumpkin hoarding of 2010, and now has bakers and Quakers asking everywhere if there is going to be a pumpkin shortage 2011.

Well, the good news for canned gourd lovers is that thanks to pumpkin
growers in the midwest, consumers, bakers and candlestick makers will be able to find canned pumpkin in mass quantities on the grocer’s shelves in plenty of time for the 2011 holiday season. A grateful nation breathes a collective sigh of relief.

This is a result of the pumpkin’s growing popularity that has boomed in
kitchens across the country. We’re talking pumpkin pies, breads, donuts, rolls, brownies, cub scouts, cookies and steaks. Because of its richness in nutrients, it has been designated a “super-food,” by the Betty Crocker Hall of Fame, as people are devouring this multi-colored gourd all-year round. Some even feed it to their dogs and cats as a digestive aid. My golden retriever prefers it as a side dish with some lightly grilled red snapper over a bed of angel hair pasta.

To most people and TV critics, pumpkins mean that fall is in the air.
However, I take my cue from NFL football and the new TV season.
So far I like Poppy Montgomery in “Unforgettable”, Maria Bello in “Prime Suspect” and Michael Emerson and James Caviezel in “Person of Interest.” In the words of his character John Reese, “I don’t like to kill, but it’s something I’m good at.” That’s solid Thursday night family
entertainment. And don’t get me started with the boys from Sons of Anarchy hooking up with the Galinda cartel. Throw in returning favorites “Parenthood, The Good Wife, Blue Bloods and the new Hawaii Five-0” and it’s shaping up to be one very active fall on the TiVo frontier. On the advice from my attorney, I’m not even going to mention “60 Minutes, 48 Hours Dateline, The Daily Show or any celebrity roasts on C-SPAN.”

On to the late night. “If you’re keeping score at home, they have now
applauded executions at the Republican debate, they have cheered letting an uninsured man die, and they booed an active duty U.S. serviceman for being gay. I don’t know how you get to the right with this crowd but Ron Paul’s new campaign ad is just the Rodney King beating to the sound of children laughing. Larry Flynt is offering $1 million if someone came up with proof that Rick Perry had an illicit sexual liaison. But I say, Larry, really we don’t have to do that. We already came up with a way to embarrass Rick Perry. It’s called debates.” –Bill Maher

“We have a pumpkin shortage in the United States. Thanks a lot,
Obama. The stock market dropped 400 points yesterday. I saw a bunch of guys running out of Goldman Sachs with squeegees. They had another of those Republican debates. The field seems a little anemic. President Obama was watching with his wife, and halfway through he said, ‘Honey, you can stop packing.'” –David Letterman

“Someone smashed the windows in President Obama’s L.A. campaign office. And today, Joe Biden said it was likely the work of vandals, and definitely not someone who forgot their key and had to go to the bathroom. Mitt Romney says he wants Sarah Palin to run for president to make the race ‘more exciting.’ Although with Mitt Romney running, even Al Gore on Ambien would make the race more exciting.” –Jimmy Fallon

“Sarah Palin’s website sent out an email to her supporters hinting that if
they send her enough money, she’ll run for president. I need this woman to run. This kind of material doesn’t just show up every day.” –Craig Ferguson “Bad day for the stock market. It’s down nearly 400 points. They’re calling it the worst September meltdown since the Red Sox.” –Jay Leno “Today President Obama is visiting the hometown of House Speaker John Boehner. Obama plans to give a speech and then visit the tanning bed that Boehner grew up in.” –Conan O’Brien

So that’s our first blast for October. With the exception of baseball
fans in Boston and Atlanta, last Wednesday night was as good as it gets for excitement on the national pastime front. That’s the beauty of sports and my past lives, they’re totally unscripted. We’ll catch you when you’re down to your last strike. Aloha, mahalo and later, Evan Longoria fans.

September 25, 2011

Pardon The Eruption

Good morning and greetings, fall equinox fans. That’s right, last Friday, Donna Summer left us and we are now autumn bound. That means the days, like my memory, are getting shorter, while the nights are stronger than moonshine. We’re talking later sunrises and earlier sunsets, which I will continue to monitor for the the hundreds of thousands, er, hundreds, er, many dozens of loyal readers of Sunrise Santa Cruz.

This week I want to talk big booms, not to be confused with big boobs, which would describe our current lawmakers. Last week there was a massive rumbling in the Himalayas, as a strong earthquake hit India, Nepal and Tibet. When Bob Seger heard about this, he said, “I’m think I’m going to Kathmandu, that’s really, really where I’m going to.” The world around us is a rockin’ and a shakin’ and that’s where we pick up today’s story.

When I think of massive explosions, the first things that come to mind are Mount St. Helens, the 2010 eruption of Eyjavjallajokull in Iceland and the berating of referees by former Indiana University basketball Coach Bobby Knight. But they don’t come close to being the world’s deadliest eruption.

Mount Tambora is on the island of Sumbawa, Indonesia, which is flanked to the north and south by the oceanic crust, which is not to be confused with what my mother cut off my sandwiches as a young child. In a story reported by Nasrullah Roa for the Associated Press, she reports that the mountain has been a rumblin’, causing families that live next to this live volcano to flee the area faster than Tricky Dick Nixon exited the White House in 1973 after proclaiming, “I am not a crook.”

Indonesia is located in the Pacific Ring of Fire, in an area known for its frequent earthquakes, volcanic eruptions and tasty waves to surf. We’re talking 130 active volcanoes and surf shops. Mount Tambora has the unfortunate honor for being ground zero for the world’s deadliest eruption. Back around the birth of John McCain on April 10, 1815, the mountain exploded and the blast left a crater than was 7 miles long and and a half a mile deep. It launched an estimated 400 million tons of sulfuric acid into the atmosphere, leading to the worst famine of the 19th century and “the year without summer” in the United States and Europe, which had a very negative effect on the baseball pennant races.

Prior to the eruption, much like today’s Congress, Tambora had stood dormant for around 5,000 years. There have been only five blasts like this in recorded history, not counting 1973, when Barry Bonds set the Major League record with 73 home runs.

The death toll from this natural disaster was horrific, with estimates between 90,000 and 117,000 in Indonesia alone. 12,000 died immediately as a direct result of the eruption, while tens of thousands more were killed as a result of starvation and disease. Thick layers of ash from the volcanic fallout ruined crops as animals, rice fields and President Sukarno disappeared from the earth. Nobody was partying in Bali.

This Super Bowl of eruptions brought on 16-foot tsunamis along the coast of Indonesia. The resulting waves of hot lava reached speeds of 124 mph, killing everything in its path. Mount Tambora continued to erupt until July 15, 1815 when in the words of Alice Cooper, “enough’s enough.”

Then in the summer of 1816, the dense volcanic ash from Mount Tambora’s eruption blew into the skies over the Northern Hemisphere. It cut off much of the sun, and if you know me, I like my sunlight like my apple juice, unfiltered. Snow fell in the northeastern United States well into July, which really cut back the summer beach action. What resulted was unseasonably low temperatures, crop failure, a failure to communicate, famine, disease, death and a lousy TV season across Europe and North America. This is what historians and TV critics refer to as “the year without a summer.” Truly, a major, major bummer.

This all-time, most deadly explosion was 10 times more powerful than Indonesia’s much better-known Krakatoa blast of 1883, which is history’s second deadliest. But it doesn’t share the same claim to international fame, because back in 1815, the only way news spread across the world was by the slow boat, smoke signals and the lucky few who were able to get reception on the Weather Channel.

Much like the Chicago Cubs, Mount Tambora had been pretty quiet for the last 200 years, until there was a new rumbling that started back in April. In August, white smoke started shooting in the sky. Then in September, it was seismic city, with 12 to 16 earthquakes a day coming up on the radar screen. I don’t know about you, but any time earthquake totals hit double digits in a single day, I’m just not myself.

This new activity forced local residents along the mountain to high tail it to lower ground. When I asked Stevie Wonder what he would do in this situation, he replied that he was “Gonna keep on tryin’, till he reached the higher ground.” I don’t think he quite understands the gravity of the situation, as local authorities fear there will be toxic gas as a result of the seismic activity or even worse, they may be exposed to MTV’s “Jersey Shore.”

And just in case you thought all the action was in the South Pacific, volcanologists in our 49th state are concerned that an eruption could be forthcoming from Mount Cleveland, which is located 940 miles southwest of Anchorage. This volcano lies below a major flight path between North America and Asia, and an eruption could create havoc to airline travel and more importantly, put a big crimp in the nation’s longest-running regular season basketball tournament, the Great Alaskan Shootout, scheduled for late November. I don’t want to miss that opening round matchup between Dartmouth and the USF Hilltoppers.

And finally, if you think we had lousy weather here on the central coast in September, we’re not alone. The Great Lakes region is usually sunny and pleasant but this year has been the exact opposite. It’s been cloudy and rainy to go along with cool Northerly breezes. Meteorologists, weather nuts and Big 10 football fans can’t remember when they ever that had weather like this across the Great Lakes and Ohio Valley in September. It looks like it’s lining up to be another brutal winter, so I’ve already ordered my shorts from Tommy Bahama’s winter collection.

For today’s photo rendezvous we are we opening up the archives and journeying back to a September’s past. We start out with sunrise over the water at Steamer’s Lane, before moving up to Lighthouse Point be finishing this mini-road trip at my favorite cypress tree along West Cliff Drive. When I contacted the Lovin’ Spoonfuls about these photos, John Sebastian said, “What a day for a day dream, custom made for a daydreamin’ boy.”

For the sunset portion of today’s program, we catch a beautiful late September low tide experience at Its Beach. We finish off the program with the prodigal sun shining through my favorite arch down at Its. Fittingly enough, on the first night of fall last Friday, a pretty sunset graced the western skies, so the wonderful world of color is on the way. Now I can just spend a day taking a walk in the sun, “dreaming ’bout my bundle of joy.”

On to the late night. “Gays are now allowed to serve openly in the military. So maybe our next war could be a musical. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad announced that he is releasing the two American hikers from captivity in Iran on humanitarian grounds. Then he went back torturing dissidents. A satellite is now headed toward earth and the people at NASA have no idea where it will land. How would they know? It’s not like they’re rocket scientists.” –David Letterman

“Two new books about Sarah Palin came out today. All of a sudden, I’m feeling OK about Borders going out of business. “The military’s controversial ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy was officially retired. This marks a new age of tolerance, acceptance, and awkward showering for everyone in the military.” –Jimmy Kimmel “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell is now over. Gay people can enlist, fight overseas, and then not be able to get married when they get back home.” –Jay

“Moammar Gadhafi released an audio message saying that he’s still in power, and just ‘temporarily’ going underground. Sure, just like my local Blockbuster is ‘temporarily’ closing its doors. “President Obama is speaking to the General Assembly tomorrow and he’s expected to urge the delegates to fight global warming, reduce poverty, and find out what the heck is happening at Netflix.” –Craig Ferguson

So that’s our last blast for September. I don’t know about you, but time is flying by faster than the NBA canceled their preseason games. It’s lockout city, baby. Get ready for Derek Jeter and the baseball playoffs and we’ll catch you coming off the mound. Aloha, mahalo and later, Justin Verlander fans.

September 11, 2011

I Don’t Know Weather It’s Good Or Bad

Good morning and greetings, tropical storm fans. What is it with the national weather picture? If you’re keeping a scorecard at home, the weather across our nation has been wackier in 2011 than the statements coming out of the mouth of Texas Governor Rick Perry.

It has been a year of extreme conditions in the USA, with killer tornadoes, paralyzing blizzards, unrelenting triple digit heat, record-setting drought, massive flooding, raging wildfires, unusual earthquakes and most significantly, the Yankees having the second-best record in baseball with just one proven starting pitcher.

In an article written by Associated Press Science writer Seth Borenstein, he states that total weather losses so far for the year top $35 billion and 25 cents, and that’s not counting Hurricane Irene, Tropical Storm Lee or the upcoming NBA lockout. This is not to say that the rest of the world has been having a picnic in 2011, as there was the horrific earthquake and tsunami in Japan, major flooding in Australia, the devastating drought in Africa and the bring your guns to home and work program sponsored by the Mexican drug cartels.

And as Andrew Luck would have it, we’re right in the middle of September, when hurricanes and pro football take center stage. In the first six months of 2011, there were 98 natural disasters in the United States, not to mention the current field of Republican presidential candidates. That is double the average of the 1990’s, which doesn’t include the Columbine school massacre, the O.J .Simpson murder trial and “Beverly Hills 90210.”

Then there’s the unforgiving, relentless, sweltering heat that has been massacring the southwestern states. Tens of thousands of daily weather CD’s and records, including most consecutive mornings on West Cliff Drive without seeing the sun, have been broken or tied. Nearly 1,000 all-time records have been set, with most of them heat or rain, or in the supreme words of Diana Ross, “No wind, no rain, nor winter storms, can stop me babe, oh babe.”

This has also been the hottest summer in Texas history. How hot has it been? It was so hot, Tim Duncan saw an Amish guy buying an air conditioner. More records have been broken than at my high school graduation party. The word scorching doesn’t begin to describe it or Dirk Nowitzki’s outside shooting in the NBA Finals.

The Lone Star state has also experienced it’s worst fire season in history, with over 3.5 million acres burned to go along with it’s driest one year period ever. The stars at night may be big and bright, but it’s been a blazing inferno deep in the heart of Texas. And if that weren’t enough, in July, Oklahoma went into the books as America’s hottest month by any state in recorded history. And this doesn’t include Timothy McVeigh burning in hell.

One of the most troubling aspects of the extreme heat is the record-high nighttime temperatures. It may cool off at night here on the central coast, but a good part of the nation gets treated to the relaxing in an oven experience. The evening highs shows that the country isn’t cooling off at all in the evening, which is what the crops, the human body and my night nurses need.

So why in the wide, wide world of sports do I bring this up? Because here in Santa Cruz, instead of percolating in the heat, we’re still waiting for things to warm up. We had one day last week that I would describe as Indian summer, as the rest of the week was more like August fog mode. Now I’m not complaining, as I’ll take the fog and clouds any day over sweltering heat, but if it warmed up a tad and the sky turned blue before Oprah comes on in the afternoon, Steadman and I wouldn’t be upset.

For today’s photo relay we are going vertical, with three waterfall shots followed by three from the rainbow files from the Garden Isle. The first photo is Wailau Falls, followed by a brilliant red clay waterfall that I shot on the road to Waimea Canyon. The next are cascading waterfalls from after a rain on the mountains that form the backdrop to the town of Hanalei. This was the view from my bedroom on the north shore of Kauai along with an box of Mauna Loa chocolate covered macadamia nuts. It was a tremendous place to quietly read and sob in silence.

We finish up with some vivid Hanalei rainbow moments. According to my lunar calendar, we have one more week’s worth of South Pacific photos before returning to local action, so sunrises, sunsets and more of my fascinating life story are on the way.

On to the late night. “The Republican presidential candidates will have a debate at the Reagan Library. They were going to have it at the George W. Bush Library but they couldn’t fit all eight of them in the bouncy house. The oil industry said if they were allowed to drill more, they could create over a million new jobs. Of course most of those jobs would be cleaning oil off ducks. In Iowa Sarah Palin ran a half marathon and came in second place. Of course no one saw her do it, because she refused to tell anyone she was running.” –Conan O’Brien

“A town in Arizona wants to have its own version of Spain’s running of the bulls. Right. If there’s one thing Arizona is missing it’s thousands of Spanish-speaking people running for their lives.” Apparently, Mitt Romney is planning to build a huge addition onto his beach house in California. And here’s the cool part: They’re using the same wood that they used to build Mitt Romney. A woman in Alaska punched a bear in the face after it threatened her dog Or as Sarah Palin put it, ‘Teach me, sensei.'” –Jimmy Fallon

“‘The White House agreed to move President Obama’s speech from Wednesday to Thursday because the Republicans have a debate scheduled for Wednesday. So the debate that no one is going to watch holds more weight than the speech no one is going to believe. “Michele Bachmann said that if she is elected president, she would consider eliminating the Department of Education because ‘the states could do a gooder job.’ “A New Mexico state trooper in full uniform was caught having sex with a woman on the hood of her car. She was so drunk that halfway through she said, “Hey, that’s not a Breathalyzer!” –Jay Leno

That’s our national weather report. So enjoy the last full week of summer and the start of the new fall TV season.
We’ll catch you banging winners from the baseline. Aloha, mahalo and later, Brooklyn Decker fans.

September 4, 2011

Pardon Me, I’ve Got A Fog In My Throat

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , , , , , , , — geoff @ 9:26 am

Good morning and greetings, Labor Day fans. The action really picked up last week during my morning walks along West Cliff, as a south swell hit the coast, bringing with it big waves, big rides and huge hopes that the dreary coastal fog might actually blow away before I start carving my vegan Thanksgiving turkey.

Personally, I don’t have anything against fog, which is defined as a gathering of water droplets that are partying in the air at the Earth’s surface. However, when it comes to pea soup, I prefer it in a cup instead of hovering along the coastline. Speaking for myself and I believe, a large percentage of sweatshirt-wearing folks on the central coast, now that it’s September, let’s hope the party is over.

But as we know, if it’s summertime, that means the Yankees and Red Sox will be going at it in the A.L East and a thick layer of home-grown coastal fog will be parked along Monterey Bay. In a story last month in the Santa Cruz Sentinel, writer Lily Drayton gave us the inside scoop of our moist summer friend that like some relatives and friends, just doesn’t know when to leave.

Fog plays a vital role in making sure that Monterey Bay lives up to its name on the beauty front. The fact that fog could disappear from the coast has caught the attention of scientists, waitresses and skimboarders, as these crystal droplets in the atmosphere play almost as an important role in our lives as my updated TiVo programming.

According to Emily Limm, the director of science at Save the Redwoods League, “what’s important about fog is timing — it occurs in the summer months when there is no rainfall in California.” The fog provides much-needed water to plants in a time of drought while keeping moisture in the ecosystem, much like putting a lid on an empty jar of Trader Joe’s Tomato Basil Marinara Sauce.

Fog thrives on the central coast because of the temperature difference between cool ocean water and warmer air. We get slammed here because Monterey Bay is a giant canyon, with deep cold water that is chillier than the look I got when I sauntered into my draft board back in 1970. When the summer breezes that gather over the Pacific hit the ice water in the Bay, the air chills and all of a sudden it’s condensation city and we’re
socked in.

For the folks that study fog for a living, the central coast is nirvana with a young Kurt Cobain. In the words of Daniel Fernandez of CSU Monterey Bay, “There is something almost magical about fog, as it’s variable and constantly changing. We have a great living laboratory for fog in Monterey along with a tremendous example of clam chowder in a bread bowl at Phil’s
Fish House in Moss Landing.”

Now there has been much talk about the depressing amount of this daily drizzle from this past August. According to the National Weather Service in Monterey, there were 24 days of fog in August 2010 and 25 in 2011. Now I will admit under oath that I was gone the first week of August. But according to my statistical estimations of my algorithmic calculations, there were two sunny mornings last month, which means it was one depressingly foggy month for beach goers. To this mild-annered reporter for a great metropolitan blog, it seems like it has been getting foggier every year. But lo and behold, this is not the case.

According to Professor Todd Dawson of UC Berkeley, word on the street and a recent study shows that coastal fog in California has declined since the 1950’s. Over the last 60 years, the fog and my hopes and dreams have dropped by more that 30 percent. Dawson says because the air temperatures are warming up, so are the oceans, and if that warm air is not hitting the cool ocean, then we’re not fogged in, we’re fogged out. But as the boys from Foghat would say, “Slow ride, take it easy.”

Moving along on the fog front, for you tree lovers, the redwoods gather 30 to 40 percent of their moisture from coastal fog. They are more dependent on this moisture than my parents are on me, who expect a gourmet dinner delivered every night from yours truly. And as Dawson adds ,”Redwoods trees wouldn’t achieve their great heights if they didn’t have the boost of a fog bank every summer.” And size does matter. But remember, only God can make a tree. And only you can prevent forest fires. And Forest Whitaker.

On today’s photo laugh track, we are not featuring fog, but instead some scenes that would be emotionally available to us if the coast weren’t socked in every morning like a wet gray blanket. We return to Kauai as the first two shots are a sunrise taken on the north shore skies above Hanalei. Next comes sunset on lovely Hanalei Bay. Photo credits go to my gluten-free brother Brad, who is chomping at the bit to be dropped off on top of a glacier in Alaska next winter so he can go heli-snowboarding down it. I was planning on going with him but recent blood tests revealed that I’m allergic to terror and prone to night sweats when I’m within 100 yards of a large persistent body of ice.

The final two shots are from a August sunrise over Poipu Beach on the south shore of the Garden Isle. And since I don’t want you to go completely cold turkey without some info from Hawaii, here’s a news flash. The future island of Loihi is being created 20 miles southeast of the Big Island. It’s still about 3,200 feet below the surface of the ocean, so hotel rooms, tropical lauas and sunset catamaran cruises are still available at bargain prices. Stay tuned for more details and savings coupons.

On to the late night. “Dick ‘Kaboom’ Cheney has written a book, and he says he wouldn’t change anything. He feels strongly about this. He’d still invade the wrong country.” –David Letterman “Dick Cheney’s new memoir contains some startling surprises. For example, he is still alive.” –Jay Leno

“Gadhafi is apparently on the run, though today he released a message congratulating Beyonce on her pregnancy. “Moammar Gadhafi had escape tunnels, gold plumbing fixtures, and pictures of Condoleezza Rice. It’s like I have a twin.” –David Letterman

“President Obama’s popularity is slipping while he’s on vacation. When he went for a walk on the beach, the tide went out.” –David Letterman “President Obama’s uncle has been arrested on suspicion of drunk driving. “How sad is it for the uncle? He got thrown in jail and the only relative he could call for bail money is $14 trillion in debt.” –Jay Leno

“Our thoughts go out to everyone on the East Coast waiting for Hurricane Irene. In Washington, D.C., thousands of people have been left without power. They’re called Democrats.” –Craig Ferguson “John McCain turned 75 today. He thought Hurricane Irene was a flapper he had a crush on in the ’20s. On Friday the world’s oldest woman celebrated her 115th birthday in Georgia. John McCain said, ‘Irene!?'” –Jimmy Fallon

So that’s my first jolt for the month of September. So enjoy what I hope will someday be the beginning of Indian summer, U.S Open Tennis and the start of the NFL season. And of course, the 90 minute season premier of the “Sons of Anarachy” on Tuesday. That’s feel-good TV at its best. We’ll catch you coming off the mound. Aloha, mahalo and later, Ivan Nova fans.

July 24, 2011

Just Smile And Waves

Good morning and greetings, big wave fans. During the summer in Santa Cruz, the surf crowd doesn’t have all that much to get excited about, as the swells are smaller than the chances the Warriors will be playing opening night against the Lakers in November. At this point in my life, I would prefer to “luck out” rather than have a “lockout” of my favorite sport, but as the Dali Lama once told me, “Basketball is life and the rest is just karma.”

But let’s get back to the subject and predicate at hand. In a story written by Suzanne Bohan in the Contra Costa Times, the winter of 2009-10 was more brutal on the coastal erosion front than the Taliban’s continuing campaign against women and education. These super storms, which were faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive and able to leap tall seawalls in a single bound, eroded huge chunks of shoreline and my faith in sand bags.

To see this displacement of Mother Earth in action, just stroll
along West Cliff Drive and you get a birds-eye view of the process.
According to a new study by scientists and Al Gore’s pilates
instructor, the coastline may be disappearing faster than Rupert Murdoch’s justification for Fox News, as climate change will be bringing encores of these powerful storm seasons.

During the 2009-10 winter season, waves in the Pacific and my urge to dance were 20 % stronger on average than any other year since 1997, when the whole ballroom obsession thing just took over me. The higher-than-usual sea levels, like my desire to rumba, foxtrot and tango, eroded away California state beaches at “unprecedented levels,” according to coastal geologists and lifeguards who saw their towers washed away. It’s the kind of winters we may continue to experience as global temperatures and out-of-control tuition
hikes for UC schools continue to rise.

In the erosion department, it is natural for the coastlines to be
stripped of sand by the powerful winter waves. In the summertime, it is replenishment city as the sand makes a return engagement on the backs of smaller waves. Unfortunately, after the stormy winter of 2009-10, King Neptune taketh more than he giveth, leaving the beaches more vulnerable to worsening erosion problems from than my thoughts and feelings after watching an episode of “Parenthood.”

Now normally you would blame these big-time storms on our old friend, El Nino, but instead, the finger gets pointed a his second cousin, El Nino Modoki, with Modoki being Japanese for “similar, but different,” or “does that come with teriyaki sauce?” This involves the raising of central Pacific water temperatures along with the salt and dried kelp content of miso soup.

What we’re really talking about is warm sea surface temperatures in the central Pacific flanked on the east and west by cooler waters, a sort of tempura condition. It’s akin to putting your right foot in, then taking your right foot out before putting your right foot back in and shaking it all about. It sounds like a lot of hocus pocus to me but that’s what it’s all about.

So to give you a look at what some of those waves blasting against the coast looked like, let’s journey back to a glorious day along
West Cliff. As you can see, the swell was pumping, bringing with it a high energy feeling and big spray. Photo number four is my favorite, as it’s the new wave hitting the backwash of the previous one and cresting up to form this furious entanglement of white foam. I really wanted to give this spectacular shot of fluid dynamics a clever title and thought long and hard before coming up with, “The Wave.”

We end this photo faire with a couple of landscape shots from
Its Beach during the golden hour from the same day. If anyone out there is cyber space knows how they came up with the name ‘Its’,
please clue me in. I could take a guess, but this blog is rated strictly PG-13.

On to the late night. “While testifying in Parliament, Rupert Murdoch was attacked by a man who threw a pie and yelled insulting names. Murdoch immediately gave the man a show on Fox News. NASA is considering replacing the space shuttle with a space taxi. It can do everything the shuttle can do, except pick you up if you’re black. A panel of medical experts has recommended that health insurance
companies provide free birth control to their customers. The recommendation has been hailed as ‘historic’ by women’s’ groups, and as ’10 years too late’ by Maria Shriver.” –Conan O’Brien

“Rupert Murdoch was testifying in his phone hacking case today, and a man attacked him with a pie. Fortunately, Murdoch knew to move out of the way, because he heard about the plan on the guy’s voicemail.” –Jimmy Fallon “Borders bookstores announced that it will liquidate its stock and close all of its stores nationwide. I don’t think this is what the Republicans meant by ‘closing our borders.’ The United States’ soccer team lost to Japan, which means we’re now losing to Japan in math, science, and penalty kicks.” –Jimmy Kimmel

“It’s rumored that Arnold Schwarzenegger is working on a memoir. Yeah, it’s apparently over 500 pages long — and that’s just the dedication to his kids.” –Jimmy Fallon “Rupert Murdoch said yesterday at the House of Commons that he was shocked, appalled, and ashamed. So apparently he watches Fox News, too.” –Jay Leno
“Sarah Palin’s son Track and his wife are having a baby. They haven’t picked a name yet, but they do know it will be a verb.” –Conan O’Brien

Top Five Surprising Facts About the Moon Landing
10. Was filmed on the same soundstage where they shot ‘Green Acres’ 8. They returned to the moon a week later because one of the astronauts dropped his car keys 6. Buzz Aldrin stuffed his space suit to make himself look bigger 4. Astronauts were charged extra for not returning the capsule with a full tank of gas 1. Neil Armstrong was also the first man on Mrs. Armstrong

So that’s my last blast for July. I’m going to take a couple of weeks off and head to the islands, so look for some aloha action on my return. In the meantime, be grateful for the food on your table as the current famine in Somolia is more horrible than words. It’s worse
than last week’s record-breaking heat and humidity in New York and the truly senseless massacre in Norway. We’ll catch you at home plate. Aloha, mahalo and later, Don Rickles fans.

July 17, 2011

Nobody Knows How Dry We Are

Good morning and greetings, summer breeze fans. Santa Cruz is blessed with a Mediterranean climate, which consists of warm
to dry summers and mild to cool, moist winters. This climate is found in
only a few areas of the world, which includes southwestern Australia,
central Chile, the western cape of South Africa, the Mediterranean Basin, coastal California and a strip mall in Hoboken, New Jersey.

So we’re talking no freezing temps in the winter and little
rain in the summer. Although we don’t see much precipitation at this time of year, Santa Cruz seems like a pretty moist place, from the fog that hugs the coast to the Pacific Ocean that looms as an ever-present force of moving moisture. After the rainy winter and spring, we are in no danger of any drought action, but unfortunately, a good part of our nation cannot say the same. You’ve heard of dry counties, we’re talking dry country.

What they’re calling the Great Drought of 2011 has spread across 14 states, from Florida to Arizona. 14% of the country has suffered through the driest six months since 1895. Hardest hit is Texas, where no part of the state has been left untouched by the virtual lack of rain. Taking the biggest shot is cotton, which accounts for half the U.S. crop, as the plants are too weak to break through the soil that is drier than my sense of humor.

Life has been miserable for Texans due to excessively high heat, scorching dry winds and the retirement of Yao Ming. More than 30% of the state’s wheat crop may be lost. It’s law of the jungle, the wheat shall perish.

Back in June, the U.S. Department of Agriculture designated 213 counties in Texas and the Oakland A’s batting order as natural disaster areas. Even if the weather changes, the rains come and the A’s start hitting, agricultural losses in the state will surge beyond $3 billion due to the blistering heat and lack of precipitation.

Oklahoma has only had 28% of it’s normal summer rainfall. It has been
triple-digit scorching hot for days on end and last week Governor Mary Fallin asked Oklahomans to pray for rain and Russell Westbrook to
pass more. And this comes after Texas Governor Rick Perry earlier in the year asked Texans to pray for rain and to try and forget his serious social networking faux pas when he singled out members of the media and blocked them from following his Twitter account.

So after a spring that was dominated by floods, tornadoes and the Dallas Mavericks, why is the earth being scorched like this? Four out of five meteorologists who recommend sugarless gum blame the high-pressure system that won’t leave the country’s midsection, making it impossible for cooler air from the north to break through. Many in the parched regions are now hoping for heavy tropical storms, drenching monsoons and the end of the NFL and NBA lockouts for relief.

The outlook through late September shows some possible improvement, but the chances of this natural disaster continuing are stronger than my weakside help defense. Further blame goes to La Niña, which is cooling our Pacific Ocean but bringing less moisture to the atmosphere, which prevents the storm systems from getting anywhere near these parched regions. We’re talking dead landscape, which much like the recent actions of the Republican Party, will take years to recover from. At this point, hope is flying solo.

And as an added bonus, a massive heat wave hit the upper midwest states and east coast last Friday, which topped off a week of record-breaking temperatures from Minneapolis to JFK airport In New York. Which brings us to the words of George Carlin as hippy dippy weatherman Al Sleet, “Temperature at the airport is 88 degrees, which is stupid because I don’t know anyone who lives at the airport.”

As of late last week, 900 high temperature records in the United
States had been tied or broken. And the bad news is, for July heat and humidity fans, as Karen Carpenter once whispered in my ear, “We’ve only just begun.”

Speaking of airports, last Wednesday night, 40 planes at Denver International Airport were damaged as hail stones larger than Carmelo Anthony’s ego fell for 15 minutes during a severe thunderstorm. Winds reached 70 MPH as a new single day record for rainfall was set. And
remember, Colorado borders Oklahoma and is a stone’s
throw from Texas, where the rain gauges have been emptier than my invoices paid box.

Moving onto today’s photo lunch special, we’re are going totally lunar. Last Thursday, as I was returning from my son’s summer league basketball game and on the way to my daughter’s softball game, I noticed the full moon rising as I cruised by COSTCO. I really would have preferred to see my favorite natural satellite rising up over Monterey Bay, but my timing and jump shot just aren’t what they used to be.

So instead, let’s head back to January of 2009 and take a look at the
biggest and brightest full moon of that year. I took in this lunar experience from West Cliff Drive on the cliffs above Cowell’s Beach. As you can see, this night was spectacular, and with the stars up above in my eyes, this evening goes down as my favorite among lunar loveliness. Or as my friend Van Morrison commented later, “What a marvelous night for a moon dance. And a fantabulous night for your blog.”

On to the late night. “A report says that a growing number of Americans are worth $1 million. The bad news: last year they were worth $5 million. Hitler’s birthplace in Austria has revoked his honorary citizenship. Talk about a rush to judgment. Michele Bachmann and her husband run this institution where they try to ‘pray away the gay.’ They want gay guys to think outside the bun.” –Jay Leno

“In Arizona they had a dust storm that was two miles high and 15 miles wide. It looked like something out of a movie. Visibility in Arizona they said was so bad that police were hassling white people.” –Bill Maher “A lawmaker in California is pushing for 13 counties to break away and form a new state called South California. Meanwhile, residents are pushing for a more fitting name: ‘North Mexico.'” –Jimmy Fallon “Arnold Schwarzenegger announced today he’s going back to the thing he does best. No, not that thing; the other thing. He’s going to star in a new Western. I think it’s called ‘Butch Cassiday and the Illegitimate Kid.'” –Craig Ferguson

David Letterman’s “Top Six Signs the United States Is Running Out of Money” 10. For $10,000, you get your face on the dollar
9. The White House now has a two-drink minimum 8. There’s a listing on eBay for North Dakota 6. Americans now attempting to sneak into Mexico 4. Costs $25 for each bag the president wants to check on Air Force One 1. Applied for a $40 billion loan from Oprah

So despite a tough finish, congratulations go out Abby Wambach and the U.S. Women’s soccer team for their inspiring play during World Cup action. And the same goes for the writers, actors and
crew from the epic series “Friday Night Lights,” which just
finished an wonderful five-year run on NBC. No program, with the possible exception of “Sons of Anarchy,” has ever moved me emotionally like this show did about families and high school football. The series finale was exceptional. As they say, “Clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose. Texas forever.” We’ll catch you down the right field line. Aloha, mahalo and later, Tim Riggins fans.

July 3, 2011

You Could Have Knocked Me Over With A Weather

Good morning and greetings, Independence Day fans. Now, I know the rain in Spain falls mainly on the plains, but I had no idea that the rain in
Santa Cruz fell merrily in June. This being the case, much like during the math section of the SAT’s, I was somewhat surprised and bewildered when torrents of moisture dropped down from the sky last Tuesday.

According to the National Weather Service in Monterey, where I go to get my international news and latest cricket scores, two inches of rain fell in the month in June. Now, I know this doesn’t seem like much compared to the world’s record rainfall, when 12 inches came down in just 42 minutes back in Missouri in 1947. That, my raindrop-loving friends, was precipitation gone wild.

Tuesday’s surprise rainfall amounted to about .03 inches, which is the
same amount I shrink height-wise each year. When the skies opened up that morning, shocking locals, tourists and sunblock salesman, it went on the books as the wettest June on record in Santa Cruz history, breaking the previous mark set back in 1929, before there was skype, twitter and the newest Republican nut on the block, Michele Bachman.

This storm came spinning down from the Gulf of Sarah Palin’s Alaska, as a result of a strong low pressure system. Or in the words of the great George Carlin, as hippy-dippy weatherman Al Sleet, “the weather was dominated by a large Canadian low, which is not to be confused
with a Mexican high.” The storm also brought snow to the Sierras, which meant smiles on the face of skiers, snowboarders and saint bernards as both the slopes and my sinuses are open today on the Fourth of July.

Although this weather didn’t stick around much longer than my plans of going to medical school, it got me thinking about wild weather around this geographically diverse nation of ours. So thanks to Dan Baker at
http://web2.airmail.net, here are some fun and amazing facts that you may not have known or cared about from the weather front.

On February 12, 2010, which I believe was a Thursday, 49 of our 50 states had snow on the ground, with the exception of Hawaii, where snow was banned by the State Board of Tourism and signed into law by Commander Steve McGarrett of the new Hawaii Five-O. This is not really true, as snow recently fell on the Big Island on the slopes of either Mauna Loa, Mauna Kea or some kind of macadamia nut.

On January 11th of this year, snow was on the ground in every state except Florida, which received an exemption due to voting fraud and
the impending free agency of Orlando center Dwight Howard. The reason I bring these snow stats up is that it is very unusual for many of the southern states to have the white-powered ground cover, as it would be if the Republicans supported any legislation by Michelle Obama.

If you like dry spells, but how about the the goings on in Bagdad, California, a ghost town located in the eastern Mojave Desert? They
did not see any rain for 767 days during a two-year period between 1912 and 1914. The only drier period of time in history was the Golden State Warriors just sniffing the playoffs once in the last two hundred years.

When one hears Seattle, we think of Gus Williams, Kurt Cobain and rain.
Well, believe it or not, umbrella fans, although the Emerald City is cloudy 227 days a year, it receives less rain than New York, Miami or Fort Lee, New Jersey. So there goes the joke that it rains only twice a year in Seattle: August through April and May through July.

We think of Chicago as the “Windy City” or the city that Michael
Jordan built with the help of Scottie Pippen. However, when it comes to wind speed, it’s not close to being wind central, as New York’s average wind speed is higher, but that could be from all the hot air that Rush Limbaugh is blowing out over the radio.

And finally, Cherrapunji in northeastern India is considered the wettest place on earth. I always thought it was a mountaintop in Kauai, but obviously I’m no Al Roker. Anyway, in the iron of ironies, these poor folks experience severe water shortages due to pollution and deforestation. As a result, they must walk miles to obtain drinkable water. Thus, they are walking in the rain, but I have a feeling
they’re not singing and don’t have that “glorious feelin’, I’m happy again.”

For today’s photo symphony, we start out with a late afternoon sky full of clouds at Stockton Avenue before heading up to Natural Bridges to take in the sunset. Photo #3 is my salute to Fourth of July as I caught this gull in full regalia. I call this shot “Flying Free,” which is my personal Declaration of independence from British rule and rock.

We then finish up with an image from the same night of the final arch at the Bridges and then the dancing clouds reflecting on the sand. These
peach-like colors were unusual to view at sunset, and their reflection
decorated the beach in just the right way on this enchanting evening.

And now a little late night. “Anthony Weiner is reportedly involved in
choosing his successor. The first question he asked his potential replacements is, ‘What’s the difference between ‘reply’ and ‘reply all?” –Conan O’Brien “Anthony Weiner is back in the private sector now.
When he was a congressman from New York, I think it was his private sector that got him in trouble.” –David Letterman “President Obama was in New York today. There was an awkward moment in Times
Square when he saw the Naked Cowboy and said, ‘Please tell me you’re not a Democratic Congressman.'” –Jimmy Fallon

“Michele Bachmann is kind of like Sarah Palin but without the charisma — or marksmanship. “You know, maybe we should stop telling kids that anyone can grow up to be president of the United States.” –Jimmy Kimmel “Michele Bachmann said her hometown of Waterloo, Iowa, is the birthplace of John Wayne, when it is actually the birthplace of serial killer John Wayne Gacy. She then said her favorite sitcom from the 80s is ‘Charles Manson in Charge.'” –Conan O’Brien

“Rod Blagojevich was found guilty of trying to sell President Obama’s Senate seat. As the verdict was read, Blagojevich’s face remained expressionless while his hair remained ridiculous.” –Conan O’Brien “Rod Blagojevich was charged with corruption — and unlawful imprisonment of a badger. Have you seen his hair?” –David Letterman “Rod Blagojevich was convicted of extortion, wire fraud, bribery, and
criminal abuse of styling mousse.” –Jimmy Kimmel

“Speaking of Sarah Palin, this week, Palin tweeted that her daughter
Bristol’s new memoir is quote ‘shocking, refreshing, honest, inspiring, and perfect.’ Of course, she said the same thing about the movie ‘Cars
2.'” –Jimmy Fallon “Yesterday Sarah Palin said that she read Bristol
Palin’s new book and she found it ‘shocking.’ When asked what was shocking, Palin said ‘the fact I read a book.'” –Conan O’Brien

“Newt Gingrich says he does not support gay marriage. He says marriage is a sacred sacrament that should only be between a man and his first, second, and third wives.” –Conan O’Brien “Newt Gingrich said Republicans shouldn’t be afraid to go into black neighborhoods and tell them Obama failed them. To which every Republican replied ‘You first.'” –Bill Maher

So that’s my Independence Day blast. Birthday wishes go out today to my favorite high school Homecoming Queen, the fabulous Vicki Grimsland. So enjoy the NFL and the NBA lockouts and we’ll catch you at the negotiating table. Aloha, mahalo and later, Novak Djokovic fans.

June 26, 2011

You Look Like You Just Saw A Coast

Good morning and greetings, Golden State fans. Just returned from a lovely five-day sojourn down to the land of endless strip malls and freeways called Southern California. If you ever want to remind yourself of how fortunate we are to live in this coastal oasis we call Santa Cruz, just take a ride on the I-5 south, Marvin Gaye your way through the Grapevine and you will realize how lucky we are to be
residing in this cold water paradise on the northern tip of Monterey Bay.

This is not to say, Laguna Beach fans, that there aren’t some lovely spots down in the southern section of our Golden State. My volleyball tournament playing son and I cruised through some exquisite locales, including Escondido, La Jolla, Claremont, Huntington Beach and Santa Barbara in our So Cal college tour. We saw a singing tree at UC San Diego, an incredibly beautiful northeastern-type premier liberal arts college that was Pomona, the greatness that is UCLA and finished off with a UC situated on the beach next to the mountains in Santa Barbara. It was a variety pack of collegiate delights. Southern California has a lot to offer, including Kobe and the Laker Girls, but what it doesn’t have is the uniqueness of Santa Cruz, where the redwoods
meet the sea of liberals.

Now I can understand why my son wants to go away to school and leave behind the memories and sports posters in his bedroom. After all, I grew up in New Jersey, and ended up getting my diploma seven years later from UC Santa Cruz. This unanticipated journey included pit stops at Syracuse University, the University of Colorado in Boulder, Europe, Africa and then my favorite academic destination, Cabrillo College. This was my manifest destiny, although I wouldn’t recommend it for children under 17 unless they were accompanied by a mature adult.

When it comes to beautiful campuses, I don’t think anything is quite as
breathtaking as our constantly growing little city up on the hill, where you stroll through the redwoods to classrooms that overlook Monterey Bay. But in this great nation of ours, there is quite a buffet of colleges to choose from, and Jason, who is heading into his senior year, is about to make some choices about where he wants to pursue his dream of
academia and perhaps college athletics. I don’t want to say I’m envious, but if he gives me the slightest word, I’m going with him. At least for the first week of disorientation.

What started this whole thought of the natural greatness of Santa Cruz was watching the sun rise up along the I-5 in the central valley. I was hurtling south through time and sportstalk radio when this yellow ball of
light popped up over the mountain. That got me to thinking about the mind-blowing sunrises over the Pacific where the sky just literally explodes with color and I can’t wait to come home and download my
goodies before later sharing it with the Sunrise Santa Cruz nation. I’m not saying that these kinds of moments of double reflection don’t happen in other places up and down the coast, but I know this picture is not being painted on the inland canvas of our state no matter who you vote for.

This isn’t really central coast bragging, it’s just having the local pride
and telling it like it is. The following day was the summer solstice and the sun was going to be departing from the evening sky at 8:39 pm. Now that is what I call a true festival of light as compared to the winter time when it’s dark before the evening news. So to honor the longest day of sun and fun, I thought I would feature a sunrise from one of those classic Santa Cruz mornings of glory.

As you can see, the sky and clouds were having a party this particular dawn session at Lighthouse Point. The colors and reflection action upon Its Beach were as outstanding Dirk Nowitzki’s MVP play in the NBA Finals. Photo #5 really captures the magnificence of the moment, as there were more varieties of color in the sky than Republicans throwing
their sombreros into the Presidential race. This is Santa Cruz, my friends, love it or believe it.

On to a little bit of the late night. “Senator John McCain is in a bit of
hot water after he made an unsubstantiated claim that illegal mmigrants
caused the Arizona wildfires. He kind of backtracked today. Now he’s saying it was just the Metamucil talking. John McCain made his claim that illegal immigrants started the Arizona wildfires without doing his research. The last time he did that we got Sarah Palin.” -Jay Leno

“New Republican Presidential candidate Jon Huntsman is fluent in Chinese. In a short period of time the Republicans have come quite a long way. The last Republican president wasn’t even fluent in English. Former governor of Utah, Jon Huntsman, is running for president. He’s one of those guys that can do everything — he speaks Chinese. In a couple of years we’ll all be speaking Chinese, so who cares?” –David Letterman “Most Americans know Jon Huntsman as ‘the candidate most Americans don’t know.’ Gov. Huntsman’s announcement puts him somewhere between Ron Paul and Count Chocula as the favorite to win the GOP nomination.” –Jimmy Kimmel

“Anthony Weiner’s still involved with the internet. Today he started
his own site called MyTube. “And I still don’t think Weiner gets it. Did
you hear what he said at the end of his press conference? ‘Anybody want one last look?'” –Jay Leno

So that will do if for June 2010. Let’s hope the Souris river stops rising
in North Dakota and the wildfires stop raging throughout the country.
Enjoy the rest of the June gloom and we’ll catch you on Independence Day. Aloha, mahalo and later, Jimmer Fredette fans.

June 19, 2011

Summer Better Than Others

Good morning and greetings, summer solstice fans. This spring was a walk on the wild side on the weather front, as killer tornadoes, ravaging floods, raging wildfires, record-breaking heat, Anthony’s weiner
and Arnold Schwarzenegger’s love child all made national headlines. It was a very difficult time that many Americans and particularly Maria Shriver won’t soon forget.

But as Monday is the final day of our annual spring fling, I thought we
would look ahead to summer and all the fun that is Santa Cruz. When the words summer and fun are combined with free admission, all day-ride passes and a lost children’s center, we can only be talking about one place. That would be the only remaining major seaside amusement park on the West Coast, the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk.

Before there was the Boardwalk, there was just a beautiful,lifeguard-free, white sand beach. Back in 1865, before Safeway, Starbucks
and Panda Express splashed onto the scene, an enterprising gentlemen named John Leibrandt opened a public bathhouse near the mouth of the San Lorenzo River. Holy SPF 50 ultra sweatproof sunblock, Batman! Soon other bathhouses followed along with boogie board rental shops as tourists of every race, creed and color began visiting Santa Cruz.

They had heard of the Catalyst and of the healing properties of salt water, so they traveled by planes, trains and automobiles to immerse themselves in this highly-touted “natural medicine.” This was bigger than clam chowder in a bread bowl as soon more stores and businesses opened including Sears, Jamba Juice and Pizza My Heart as tourists flocked to the central coast to take the cold water plunge.

The Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk was founded in 1904 by local businessman and entrepreneur Fred Swanton, who wanted to create a Coney Island on the west coast. We’re talking Nathan Hot Dogs on a sour dough bun along with an amusement park full of fun, games and a variety of souvenirs to satisfy everyone from Grandma to the annoying friend who’s afraid to go on any ride. All this along an incredibly beautiful mile long stretch of the Pacific Ocean. It was just the way Spanish explorers envisioned this prime piece of oceanfront real estate
when they first sailed into Monterey Bay.

So Fred Swanton erected a domed casino on the beach along the mouth of the San Lorenzo River. Unfortunately, less than two years later, the building, much like LeBron James and the Miami Heat in this year’s NBA Finals, went down in flames, along with a salt water taffy stand. But this Santa Cruz-based visionary would not be deterred, and he soon built a new casino, ballroom, boardwalk, pleasure pier, indoor swimming pool, ashram and meditation center.

The grand opening of the new boardwalk inspired an inaugural ball, with one band being directed by John Philip Sousa and the other by Mr. Eddie Money. There was also a congratulatory email message from President Theodore Roosevelt and a twitter from Sarah Palin, who claimed that she was just on a summer vacation with her family and that this road trip had nothing to do with her trying to sell more books.

The Boardwalk’s top attraction is the Giant Dipper, a wooden roller coaster built in 1924, when Al Davis bought the Oakland Raiders. Giant Dipper creator Arthur Looff once said the ride’s design was intended to evoke a “combination earthquake, balloon ascension and aeroplane drop,” or how Bin Laden might have felt when he realized it was not Domino’s Pizza but Navy Seals knocking down his door.

Now, I don’t want to say that that I’m not a big roller coaster fan,
but if I want to experience the highs and lows, thrills and excitement and gentle terror that is the Giant Dipper, I’ll just watch my stock portfolio play along with the Dow Jones average. And I don’t even
have to be buckled in.

The Giant Dip was built in just 47 days at the cost of $50,000, or what I spend each year on electroshock therapy and Chinese food. The Dipper and the Looff Carousel are both on the United States National Register of Historic Places along with the new “Burger” restaurant on Mission Street. The Boardwalk itself is a California State Historic Landmark. For summer seaside fun with an assortment of rides and attractions that make visitors wish they could afford to live here, the Boardwalk is the place to be.

For today’s photographic faceplate we are serving up six shots of the
Boardwalk that you won’t find in National Geographic or Popular Mechanics. The first photo was taken during a pelican feeding frenzy in the waters of Cowells Beach. We continue with a shot from later that evening followed by more photos from this prime piece of real estate that considers the Wharf, Steamers Lane and Lighthouse Point close and personal friends.

On to the late night festivities. “Congressman Weiner has entered a
treatment program. Amazingly, it’s the only thing he’s entered during the entire Weinergate scandal.” –Conan O’Brien “Congressman Anthony Weiner has just checked himself into a treatment center for people battling chronic sexual dysfunction. Checked in? He’s already
there, it’s called Congress. Congressman Anthony Weiner has announced that he’s not resigning in the wake of the scandal. One thing we know about Weiner is that he knows how to stand firm.” –Jay Leno

“The Chairman of the Republican Party Ed Cox said that he would use the incriminating pictures from Anthony Weiner to defeat him. So now we have Cox versus Weiner. This just doesn’t stop!” –Jay Leno “Anthony Weiner wants to be mayor of New York City. So we may go from a guy that looks like a jockey to a guy that likes how he looks in
Jockeys.” –David Letterman “After searching online for eight minutes for pictures of a congressman’s penis you have to start questioning yourself. And now we find out Weiner’s wife is pregnant. The only thing that could make this right is if it turns out she got pregnant by Arnold Schwarzenegger.” –Jimmy Kimmel

“Arnold Schwarzenegger’s housekeeper says Maria Shriver became suspicious after noticing similarities between Arnold and her 13-year-old son. For instance, after serving as class president, he left the sixth grade with a $42 billion deficit. The housekeeper said the affair wasn’t all Arnold’s fault because “it takes two.” Then Anthony Weiner said, “Actually, it only takes one.”–Conan O’Brien

“President Obama and House Speaker John Boehner have agreed to play a round of golf together. Imagine the two of them at the end of that golf game? Boehner will be crying over his score and Obama will be giving three explanations as to why his score is actually better than it appears. One of bin Laden’s wives said he was a sex machine. In fact, he was the only man who could find her jihad spot.” –Jay Leno

That’s our last blast for spring 2011. Congratulations go out to my Santa Cruz-based parents, Lee and Daniel Gilbert, who on Saturday celebrate their 61st wedding anniversary. Being their oldest has really been a treat. Or as my father likes to say, “Lee, why didn’t we have a daughter first?”

So get ready for summer and we’ll catch you running the break. Aloha,
mahalo and later, NBA draft fans.

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