Good morning and greetings, August fans. Now what red and white blood celled American doesn’t look forward to a summer vacation? Whether it’s renting a cabin on Mosquito Lake, visiting Yosemite or the Grand Canyon or just sitting around in your backyard relaxing like a mental patient, everyone loves a summer sabbatical.

For our nation’s students, it means two to three months weeks away from the grind and pressure of homework, tests, incessant bullying and the cafeteria’s salisbury steak.

But it wasn’t always like this. According to the folks at tidbit.com, back in the early 1800s, around the birth of John McCain’s babysitters, schools went year-round as the National Lampoon and summer vacation had not yet been invented.

Then along came a spider and Horace Mann, the great education reformer, who worried that overstimulating the minds of children could lead to mental breakdowns, insanity and worst of all, low SAT scores. Educators worried that if there were no breaks to take children away from schools, the insane asylums would be filled with teachers. Or in the words of Woody Allen, “Those who can’t do, teach. And those who can’t teach, teach gym.”

So in the 1840s, the summer break was created. Everyone was now happy as a clam, as teachers and students got that much needed break from one another. Meanwhile, doctors no longer had to be concerned about children spreading disease while packed in like sardines inside sweltering classrooms.

As the sign reads at the Department of Education in Washington, D.C., “There are three good reasons to be a teacher-June, July and August.”

Now transitioning into August, it tis the season when the Gilbert Family Robinson takes their annual trip to the South Pacific. It is a time for relaxation, rejuvenation, reincarnation and macadamia nut elation, in a land filled with aloha spirit, fresh papayas and angry Hawaiians.

Unfortunately, our son Jason will not be going to the islands, as he’s in Santa Barbara taking an organic chemistry lab class, which I never had the pleasure of partaking in as a sociology major. It’s the first time the four of us will not be together enjoying chicken katsu and macaroni salad in this tropical paradise. But we’re taking our daughter’s friend along because we like even numbers.

So we are heading over to Anahola Bay, on the northeast shore on the Garden Island of Kauai. We rented a house right on the water, so life shouldn’t be too stressful. I’ve been looking forward to it all year, and can’t wait to feel the trade winds and the sand beneath my feet while exploring the Napili coast and the food aisles at the Costco in Lihue.

So I’m taking a two week break from the blog, and shall return to these pages on August 25. So let me say to all of you aloha kakou, which translated means may there be love between us and don’t bother texting me.

So for today’s photo conference, we are heading down to West Cliff Drive on the morning of February 18. It wasn’t a spectacular sunrise by any means, but the sky lit up with some gentle red clouds which turned into a light orange sherbert sundae float. And then the sun rose up through the lighthouse and all was good on a winter’s morning.

On to some late night humor. “According to French officials, the gardens at the Louvre have become overrun with rats. Officials later apologized and promised to refer to us as Americans in the future. Wikipedia is now accepting donations using the online currency Bitcoin. So now you can support information you’re not sure is true with currency you’re not sure is money.” – Seth Meyers”

Seventeen siblings from New Jersey just won $20 million in the lottery. When asked how they plan to spend the money, they said, “Remodeling the shoe we grew up in.” The TSA is offering a $5,000 reward for the best idea on how to speed up airport security lines. So far the best idea is making a line for people who know what they’re doing and another line for people who have never been to an airport before.” – Jimmy Fallon

Actor Orlando Bloom threw a punch at Justin Bieber last night during an argument at a night club in Spain. Orlando’s hand was pretty sore today, you know, from all the high-fives he got. A new study found that having a sense of purpose can actually help you live longer — While having a sense of porpoise can help you swim longer. – Jimmy Fallon

So birthday wishes go out this week to my daughter Aimee, who is turning sweet 17 on Thursday. She’s beautiful and ambitious, and I am very proud of her and the rabbit ranch she’s currently running out of her bedroom.

Also celebrating his birth on this date is my old Hermose Beach pal and financial consigliere Bruce Meyers, who smiles every time he hears the word “strand.”

So that’s my story. We’ll catch you making blockbuster trades as GM of the Oakland A’s, as you’re going for it all this baseball season. Aloha, mahalo and later, Billy Beane fans.

Good morning and greetings, summer solstice fans. Last Thursday, the change of seasons, much like my transformation from boyhood to a bloghood, came about quietly, and in a blink of a thigh, we sprang from spring into Donna summer.

And what an opening day it was. Torrential rains produced record flooding in parts of Minnesota, while in northeast, the thermometer spiraled into the high-90’s, which combined with unbearable humidity made folks from Washington D.C., to Maine feel like broasted chickens. I don’t want to say it was hot, but even the sun was looking for shade. As we locals say, “Lucky we live Santa Cruz.”

As I mentioned in a rambling, I’ll be heading to the Garden Isle at the end of a July, a thought I don’t think about more than ten billion times a day. Last week, after parking my car in the lot at Natural Bridges, I surveyed the kelp-filled beach and commented to my wife, who is also my soul mate and main beneficiary that “This is not what the beach is going to look like in Kauai.” We may have to step around some coral, but the only weed we’re going to see on the beach will be going up in smoke.

So when I saw this story written by Pete Fimrite in the San Francisco Chronicle, I knew I had it was my civic duty and moral responsibility to bring it to my cyber audience in Monterey Bay.

A highly invasive form of brown kelp native to Japan has spread throughout the San Francisco waterfront like garlic fries since it was discovered three years ago. Researchers say it could threaten native species and ecosystems if money, resources and more ketchup aren’t put into stopping its spread.

The seaweed, commonly known as Wakame, multiplies faster than the Octomom, and has driven out native kelp and drastically altered entire ecosystems in other places, including Argentina, New Zealand, parts of Europe, the Jersey shore and a Club Med in Jamaica.

This clever kelp, which is a common ingredient in miso soup and General Tso’s chicken, is known in scientific circles as Undaria pinnatifida or Inthegodadavita. It can attach itself to almost anything – pilings, boats, docks, nurses, chains, riprap and old girlfriends. Like a young Manute Bol, this algae can grow an inch a day, with individuals sometimes stretching 9 feet. And as they say in the hoops world, “You can’t teach nine feet.”

This seaweed, along with people who talk on their cell phones in restaurants, are recognized globally as two of the world’s top 100 invasive species. This Japanese import made its debut in California about 12 years ago, probably by a ship or Sony executive that moored in the Long Beach area.

It was discovered in Monterey in 2001 and later spotted having some clam chowder in a bread bowl at Phil’s Fish Market in Moss Landing in 2002. These slimy blooms have since spread northward along the coast, most likely by hitching rides on boats, planes, trains and automobiles. In the classic words of Steve Martin, “Those aren’t pillows!”

Last year, researchers with the Smithsonian Environmental Research Center found it clinging like peaches to piers and docks in several
more places along the San Francisco waterfront. According to Chela Zabin, a biologist for the Maryland-based research center and UC Davis. “In San Francisco Bay, it is now widespread enough, and on so many pier pilings that we can’t get to, that I don’t think we can remove it by hand. It’s a potentially very serious problem. And don’t even get me started on the Warriors.”

The removal effort faces several obstacles, not the least of which is that there is no money available for research or to pay for an
eradication effort, making it an all-volunteer affair. Even if there were enough workers and funding, total elimination would be a tricky proposition. The species shoots out thousands of microscopic spores that, like many members of Congress, can remain dormant for up to two years.

Zabin says if the spread of this foreign agent is not checked, it could eventually outcompete the native seaweeds, including giant kelp, the majestic floating seaweed species common to Monterey Bay whose limbs can reach 200 feet below the surface. Many fish and other aquatic animals depend on the giant kelp for food, shelter to lay eggs on, to escape from predators and hide from the IRS. These functions cannot be replaced by Undaria pinnatifida, which like my medulla oblongata, is more like a giant banana leaf that sinks below the surface and attaches itself to things in a co-dependent way.

In summation, although it’s not a major problem in Monterey Bay now, this seaweed has the potential to be more disruptive than the Tea Party. And that, my marine life-loving friends, is almost as scary as the Republicans taking over the White House in November.

Moving along, last Saturday night, while trying to connect with my higher self and TiVo guide, I glanced down and noticed that my foot was glowing red. I turned around and saw that the sky was lit up like it was the first night of Shavous. What a glorious sight for all the visitors who were in town for the UCSC graduations while taking in the gray essence that is the morning coastal fog.

So to make up for missing out on this menagerie of color and to remove the guilt and shame from my photogtraphic palate, I went back into the archives to see if there were any sunsets I had shot from past Junes.

Colorful displays in the sky in June occur about as often as I go on Facebook. My research revealed just one from the previous seven years. And just my Andrew luck, I had never featured this set of photos before. I took them from a little park above the arroyo near my house. It wasn’t McArthur Park, and although it wasn’t melting in the dark, I know I’ll never have that recipe for that sunset again. Oh, no!

On to some late night humor. “Last night on the premiere of a new reality show, Bristol Palin confronted a man in a bar and demanded to know why he hates her mother. In response, John McCain said ‘Leave me alone, I’m having a drink.'” –Conan O’Brien “For the first time in history, the number of Asian immigrants coming into America is larger than the number of Hispanic immigrants. Now even our immigrants are being made in China.” –Jimmy Kimmel

“President Obama is going to a fundraiser at Sarah Jessica Parker’s house. It will be a formal, sit-down dinner for 200 in her shoe closet.” –Conan O’Brien “Mitt Romney said Obama is ignoring the real issues with illegals, which is that they keep blowing the grass clippings into his pool.” –Bill Maher

“Guantanamo Bay is getting millions and millions of dollars of upgrades and renovations. In fact, they’re not even calling it a detention camp anymore. It’s now a gated community.” –Jay Leno “Happy Flag Day. Flag Day is the day in which we honor the symbol of our nation and the 8-year-old Chinese kids who make them for us for a nickel apiece.” –Jimmy Kimmel

So that’s our last gasp for June 2012. Happy anniversary wishes today go out to my mother and father, who celebrate their 162nd, er 62nd wedding anniversary. Unbelievable! As a wise guy once said, “Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.”

And congratulations go out to their grandson, Jason, who was named as one of the Santa Cruz Sentinel’s All-County Athletes of the Year. If you can find one of those dictionaries the pioneers used and look up “scholar athlete”, you’ll see Jason’s picture.

We’ll catch you showing the entire planet why you’re the best player in the world. Aloha, mahalo and later, LeBron James fans.

Good morning and greetings, autumn fans. The fall season is upon us as the summer of 2010, much like my aspirations of sitting on the Supreme Court or dunking on a basketball court, are now history. But the last night of summer left behind a tasty little digital imprint, as yours truly sensed there would be color in the western sky and seized the moment like a fresh pan of eggplant parmesan just out of the oven, which comes with a side of penne pasta and toasted gluten-free garlic nuggets.

So let’s go back in the Chinese calendar to last Tuesday night, before the fall equinox hit me like a blackjack dealer at Harrah’s. Coming into this evening, I had not photographed a sunset the entire summer, and as you know, I’m a big fan of dusk. And there had been nothing on the sunrise front either, so an entire season went by in the sky without me even doffing with my lens cap.

But then the final evening of summer rolled in and clouds covered the sky like Darrelle Revis on Randy Moss running a fly pattern. Before you could say “Deputy Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson,” I grabbed my camera and headed over to a little park by my house that overlooks an arroyo and the mountains above UC Santa Cruz.

Now, as many of you and my rabbi know, I’m looking for the reflection action on the water and sand when I shoot sunsets, but because of the positioning of the sun and my daughter, this was not possible on this evening. Or in the words of Mick Jagger, “you can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometime, you find, you get what you need.” I think I got it but you be the bailiff.

The first shot sets up the location and then we move into zoom mode, or as they say in Israel, “zoom gali gali gali, zoom gali gali.” As our forefathers and mothers penned in the Bill of Rights, we’re guaranteed the best sunrise and sunsets occur in late fall and winter. But every once in a while some early clouds sneak in to remind me why I’m captivated by color in the sky and pilot episodes during the new fall TV season.

As you can see, it helps to have a zoom to capture the colors along the horizon. The next night the autumn harvest moon rose, and without my zoom lens I’d be shooting like the Cleveland Cavaliers without LeBron James. Dead or on life support.

Now not to get too sentimental, but since there are only three days of September left on the calendar before October blows in, I thought, what do we really know about this month? So let’s take a nostalgic look back at some classic events from our ninth month. Or in the words of the Happenings, “see you in September, see you when the summer’s through.” And for those of you keeping a scorecard, that hit rose to #3 on the Billboard charts back in 1966.

The first permanent white settlement in what is now America was founded in St. Augustine, Florida on September 8, 1565. The next day they discovered that the men couldn’t jump. California became the 31st state on September 9, 1850, which later inspired the songs, “California Girls, California Dreamin'” and for sushi lovers, the California roll.

Spanish explorer Vasco Nunez de Balboa sighted the Pacific Ocean on September 25, 1513 and claimed it for Spain and Penelope Cruz. Chile declared its independence from Spain on September 18, 1810 and then announced the creation of the chile relleno.

Francis Scott Key wrote “The Star-Spangled Banner” during the 25 hour bombardment of Fort McHenry on September 14, 1814, which had little effect on its defenders. This so impressed the lawyer, Francis Scott Key, that he wrote the poem and later penned the first draft of In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida along with Iron Butterfly. Revolutionary War patriot Nathan Hale was put to death as a spy by British on September 22, 1776. He said “I regret that I have only but one life to lose for my country, and that I will never vacation in Hawaii.”

Congress passed the Selective Service Act, providing for the first peacetime draft in U.S. history on September 14, 1940. Canada’s population doubled the next day. And finally, on September 14, 1963, much to her surprise, Mary Ann Fischer of Aberdeen, South Dakota gave birth to four girls and a boy, the first surviving quintuplets in the United States. The next day she ordered two breast pumps and signed a deal with Fox TV.

The late night boys are back in full force. “You know this Tea Party candidate, Christine O’Donnell is causing a lot of controversy with her kind of unorthodox views. She’s come out against masturbation. You know what that means? She’s out of touch with those voters who are in touch with themselves.” –Jay Leno “She hates masturbation, which is ironic, because she owes her nominations to a bunch of jackoffs. Her detractors say she’s homeless, jobless, and can’t pay her taxes. And her supporters say, ‘Finally, someone who represents the average American.” –Bill Maher

“In Delaware, Christine O’Donnell won a huge upset in the primaries, but she has some problems. Karl Rove has accused her of lying. When the guy that told 300 million Americans there were weapons of mass destruction in Iraq says you’re lying, he knows what he’s talking about. I don’t know a lot about Christine O’Donnell, but she has some interesting views. She has come out against masturbation. And you thought the war on drugs was unwinnable. This Christine O’Donnell is a very conservative woman. Not only is she against premarital sex, she is against masturbation. She even wants to outlaw beef jerky.” –Jay Leno

“Delaware Senate candidate Christine O’Donnell is taking criticism because she once said she dabbled in witchcraft. Yeah, everyone is talking about this. O’Donnell was like, ‘If one more person claims I’m a witch, I will take legal action against them and their little dog, too! Sarah Palin made a high profile appearance at a Republican fundraising dinner in Iowa. She didn’t actually say she’s running for president. She just winked it in Morse code.
Carl Paladino, New York’s Republican candidate for governor, said that Manhattan is home to smug, self-important, pampered, liberal elitists. He sounds just like my butler.” –Jimmy Fallon

“The premiere of ‘Hawaii Five-0’ was a great episode. The cops were looking around and they accidentally stumbled upon Obama’s birth certificate.” –David Letterman Everybody is talking about Bob Woodward’s new book, ‘Obama’s War.’ In the book, he says Joe Biden called Middle East advisor Richard Holbrooke, ‘the most egotistical bastard I’ve ever.’ Then Rahm Emanuel’s like, ‘What am I, invisible?’ Bristol Palin made her debut on ‘Dancing With The Stars’ and after a lot of speculation, Sarah Palin was not there to see it in person. However, she could see it from her house.” –Jimmy Fallon

So that’s our last blast for September. On the entertainment front, my eyes are bleeding from the first week of the new fall TV season so here’s a quick review. My favorite new sitcom is, “Raising Hope,” on Fox, which I found quite amusing. On the drama front, the winner was “Boardwalk Empire” on HBO. Love that Atlantic City locale. Remember, it’s not TV, it’s HBO.

So enjoy the late September heat wave and we’ll catch you at midfield. Aloha, mahalo and later, Denard Robinson fans.