Good morning and greetings, NBA Finals fans. Well, the June gloom has returned to the coast, excluding any sort of color in the sky during my morning treks along West Cliff Drive. Last week’s early morning weather could be described with one just word-dreary, with a nice touch of drizzle.

Now dreary is defined as dismal, boring, dull or sad, kind of like the state of the New York Yankees this season, with the exception of the Japanese pitching sensation Masahiro Tanaka. But it perfectly defines the state of the early morning sky, as it has been more than fifty shades of gray for the month of June.

However, the waves were still collapsing along the shoreline, the dolphins were jumping and the pelicans were flying through the fog in formations that have been more than impressive. If you like more than a touch a gray, and long for the climate of Pacific Northwest, then you were right at home last week, as we didn’t see traces of blue sky till early to late afternoon.

Which reminds me of a joke. It’s two o’clock in the morning and a husband and his wife are asleep when suddenly the phone rings. The husband picks up the phone and says, “Hello? How the heck do I know? What am I, the weather man?” promptly slamming the phone down. His wife rolls over and asks, “Who was that?” The husband replies, “I don’t know, it was some guy who wanted to know if the coast was clear.”

Moving along, the national weather scene was another story, as there was solid precipitation hurtling down on parts of the nation.

Last Tuesday, baseball-sized hail smashed homes and cars in Nebraska and Iowa, as powerful thunderstorms moved through a nice slice of Midwest states, bringing with it severe flooding, tornadoes and insurance claims.

The National Weather Service said the system involved a “training” of thunderstorms, which involves a series of storms following one after another, along with winds up to 100 MPH and drenching rain. It brings to mind the thoughts of writer Al Bernstein, who said, “Spring being a tough act to follow, God created June.” Okay, so even the Big Guy (or Gal) is entitled to a mistake every once in a while.

Last Tuesday, the weather in Iowa was described as nasty, with the skies “black as the ace of spades.” There were 13 reports of tornadoes in Nebraska, Iowa and Kansas. Weather forecasters main concern that night was widespread straight-line winds. As they like to say in the midwest, “It doesn’t have to rotate to be dangerous.” I say anger is only one letter short of danger.

This hail storm was monster by any standards, The most damage was done at a car dealership 30 miles outside of Omaha, where their brand new-vehicle inventory was sitting out on the lot Tuesday when the storm blew in. Approximately 4,500 new cars and trucks were nailed by the hail as the hoods, roofs, windshields were smashed to smithereens, with damages estimated at $162 million.

So if you’re driving through the Cornhusker State and are looking for some new wheels, this might be a good time to buy, as it will be discount city after they replace the glass and pound out those dents.

So what the hail is this about? Hail is frozen, solid water droplets formed at the top of thunderclouds that fall at speeds up to 120 MPH. According to the National Oceanic Atmospheric Administration, hail causes approximately $1 billion in damage annually in the U.S. to houses, buildings, cars, crops and baseball hats.

If you’re a fan of this form of solid precipitation, the place you want to be is Hail Alley, a 625-square-mile area located near the borders of Nebraska, Colorado, and Wyoming. This area receives an average of 9 to 11 days of hail per year, more than any area in North America, with Cheyenne, Wyoming being the hailstone capitol.

Approximately 24 people are injured each year by hail in the U.S. The last fatality attributed to this act of God was back in 2000, in Lake Worth Village, Texas. A 19-year old man was struck by softball sized hail while trying to move a new car and died the following day from associated head injuries. That’s why I always drive wearing a batting helmet.

The largest hailstone in terms of diameter and weight ever recorded in the U.S. fell in 2010, in Vivian, South Dakota. It measured 8 inches in diameter and 18.62 inches in circumference, weighing in at 1.93 pounds. According to the Weather Channel, it later fell in love, got married and now leads a quiet life out in the suburbs..

But as size matters, in April of 1986, huge balls of ice fell from the sky and crashed to the ground in Bangladesh. 92 people were reported killed as hailstones weighing more than two pounds and the size of mangos were the culprits.

Hailstorms can be deadly to nature. In 1953 in Alberta Canada, a giant hail storm smacked down on a five mile wide area, killing more than 36,000 ducks and ducklings. Four days later another hail storm passed through the same area, killing another 27,000 waterfowl and a hockey goalie.

Then in July 1978, 200 sheep died when baseball sized hail rained down on them in Montana. It was a sad week for animal lovers but a good week for lamb chop fans.

For our photo fun zone today we are returning to Lighthouse Point on the morning of January 12. The sunrise the previous day was outstanding, and I wasn’t that upset to return to the cliff on back-to-back days to take in the morning magnificence. The colors of the clouds and the reflection on the sand at Its Beach was spectacular, just the way world class sunrises ought to be.

On to some late night humor. “We bring back a POW, Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl, from Afghanistan and to get him back we traded five Taliban thugs. These guys were down in Gitmo and now they get freed after 10 or 15 years. So now they’re released and they get to fly home. And I’m thinking, if you go to the airport and you’re stuck behind these guys in security, good luck. “When they sent the Taliban thugs back to Qatar, they got picked up in a stretch camel.” –David Letterman

“The United States has traded an American POW for five Taliban prisoners. Originally, the deal included Joe Biden, but the Taliban said no.” – David Letterman “In a new interview, President Obama revealed that his daughter Malia recently went to her first prom. She wore a corsage on her wrist while her date wore a red laser dot on his head.” –Jimmy Fallon

“Last Friday CNN had its worst 10 p.m. ratings of all time, with only 35,000 viewers tuning in. I left it on for my dog, and when I came back, she was reading a newspaper. Tim Tebow said that he’s staying in shape in case he gets another opportunity to play in the NFL. Then his boss said, “That’s great, but these Waffle Tacos ain’t going to make themselves, so . . .” – Jimmy Fallon

So that’s our show. I’ve been posting some of my photos on Santa Cruz Waves. The link is https://www.facebook.com/santacruzwaves. Check it out, it’s all about living large in Santa Cruz.

We’ll catch you losing in the Conference Finals but still being the most explosive and exciting player in the Western Conference. Aloha, mahalo and later, Russell Westbrook fans.

Good morning and greetings, thunderstorm fans. As I mentioned before here on the Weather Channel, I’m always amazed by the diverse meteorological events that occur throughout our great nation. This does not include weather conditions in Hawaii, which are always sunny with no chance of it not being paradise.

So last week, aided by a high pressure system that dropped in for the best first round ever of the NBA playoffs, we experienced near record high temperatures here on the central coast, as Wednesday the thermometer hit a sizzling 93 degrees.

Pinch me, am I dreaming? Temperature in the mid 90’s? What’s next, ocean temps in the 70’s?

And just in case you’re thinking about taking a dip into Monterey Bay today without a wetsuit, the thermometer will read a chilly 54 degrees, which to me, is still dangerous shrinkage territory.

We rarely see this kind of heat in Santa Cruz, except when it comes to the homeless problem, as the average high for the month of April is 67.5 degrees. That’s what you get when you order a Mediterranean climate.

So last Wednesday was the hottest day of the year, a good, old-fashioned scorcher. How hot was it? I saw a sign on a store downtown, “No Shirt, No Pants, No Problem.”

Now contrast these warm, breezy conditions with a slow moving storm system that produced a four day barrage of violent, wet weather that wreaked havoc, with record breaking rainfall and 159 tornadoes over fifteen states. Hardest hit by the twisters were Arkansas and Mississippi, as tornadoes destroyed neighborhoods while snapping trees in half and sending trailer trucks airborne like toys.

The White House declared Arkansas a major disaster, and that had nothing to do with the Bill Clinton’s past relationships with Gennifer Flowers and Paula Jones. The death toll kept rising, as winds up to 200 mph tore through helpless communities. Families were destroyed and their homes completely leveled, leaving them dazed and confused as to what just happened.

And all in just a matter of seconds.

Now I usually like to keep my subjects light and fluffy like a cheese souffle, but it’s tough to talk about tornadoes in those terms. Nature has a vast arsenal of weapons, but even with early warning systems, folks are no match for these twisters, the most violent of all earth’s storms.

Each year, about a thousand tornadoes touch down in the United States, and with them come winds that are the fastest on Earth. A tornado in Oklahoma once destroyed a whole motel. People later found the motel’s sign in Arkansas. Or as comedian Jay London once pondered, “At Motel 6 in Amish Country, I wonder if they leave the light on for you?”

Their favorite place to play and spawn is Tornado Alley, which stretches from western Texas to North Dakota. This is where the dry polar air from Canada meets the warm moist tropical air from the Gulf of Mexico, forming thunderstorms and setting the stage for disastrous results, like any new drama series on Fox TV.

These cyclones start out very lightly colored or transparent, but the more debris they pick up, the darker they become. Sometimes you can see these violent twisters coming, but like friends and relatives, many show up with little or no warning. Or in the words of comedian Jeff Foxworthy, “You might be a redneck if you’ve been on TV more than five times describing the sound of a tornado.”

Getting back to the weather map, this same storm system produced a month’s worth of rain that fell in a 24 hour period last week. This led to dangerous flash flooding from Florida to New York, with city streets swamped and roads collapsing. These torrential downpours led to historic rain totals and umbrella sales going through the roof.

So what can you say about Mother Nature? She acts like summer but walks like the rain.

So for today’s photo lineup, we are heading straight to my front yard, where as you can see, everything has been coming up roses. The action has been non-stop all spring, as the variety of colors have been nothing short of semi-spectacular. And when you add the bonus of a fragrance into the mix, life is just a little bit better.

So if you have a moment, take some time to smell the roses.

Since while we’re on the subject, a blonde and a brunette walk past a flower shop and see the brunette’s boyfriend buying flowers. She sighs and says, “Oh crap, my boyfriend is buying me flowers again. Now, I’ll be expected to spend the weekend on my back with my legs in the air.”

The blonde says, “Don’t you have a vase?”

On to some late night humor. “In the middle of his second term, President Obama’s approval rating once again has dropped. Obama’s approval rating is so low that today Hillary Clinton said, ‘I’ll take it from here.'” –David Letterman “President Obama is calling Donald Sterling’s racist remarks ‘incredibly offensive.’ And you know it’s bad when even Vladimir Putin says, ‘I hate to say it, but I am with Obama on this one.'” –Jimmy Fallon

“Donald Sterling’s girlfriend said she’s “going to be president of the United States” one day. Yeah, like we’re going to elect someone who secretly records people’s private phone calls and conversations. L.A. Clippers owner Donald Sterling was recorded on tape making racist comments. He now has been banned from the league for life. Great, just where Sterling wanted to end up — the blacklist.” – Jimmy Fallon

“Right now every NBA fan here in Los Angeles knows there’s a dark, ugly cloud of shame hanging over the Staples Center. But enough about the Lakers. There’s also the Sterling thing.” –Craig Ferguson “The Royal Court of Saudi Arabia has launched a website that will accept complaints against the government and send them directly to the king. You can even submit a second complaint if you want — using your remaining hand.” – Seth Meyers

So we’re on to the second round of the NBA playoffs. We’ll catch you taking your team to the brink but just falling short in the first round of the playoffs. Aloha, mahalo and later, Mark Jackson fans.

Good morning and greetings, super moon fans. Well, the weather last week was nuttier than a holiday fruitcake, as it went from two days of rain to picture perfect weather a couple of days later. One day I was strolling through the fog and early morning drizzle, feeling for vacationers who had hoped for a couple of beach days along our kelp-lined shores. But then, before I could say, “Where’s Eddie Snowden?,” the temperature was warmer than my feelings for actress Thandie Newton, the star of DirectTV’s Audience Network drama “Rogue.”

And my admiration for this morally compromised undercover detective continues to grow like the morning glory surrounding my home since I’ve learned the series has been picked up for a second season. I believe the late Andy Warhol was on to something when he said, “When I got my first televison set, I stopped caring so much about having close relationships.” Tune in, turn on, drop out with no commercials.

Yes, I have many friends from the TV world. And I’ve learned so much from watching. Just like Groucho Marx. “I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.”

And I’m excited about my summer reading list, as I’ve got a couple of books lined up that I am chomping at the bit to read. But I’ve learned that man cannot live by TV alone, although God knows I’ve tried. Or as comedian George Gobal once said, ‘If it weren’t for electricity we’d be watching television by candlelight.”

Let’s get back to the weather. In a story written by Seth Borenstein for the Associated Press, scientists say the jet stream, that river of air high above Earth that dictates much of the weather and reality television programming for the Northern Hemisphere, has been, like this post, unusually erratic over the past few years. The polar jet stream dips down from Alaska, goes across the United States or Canada, and then across the Atlantic and over Europe, It is fiscally responsible for most everything we experience on the weather front and on “The Housewives of Tahrir Square.”

Two weeks ago, the jet stream was responsible for record downpours that led to historic flooding in Canada and the Chicago Blackhawks winning the NHL Stanley Cup. Then there was the record-breaking heat in Alaska, where temperatures fluctuated between 94 and 15 degrees in a three week period and led to this joke.

An Eskimo was tapping on some ice looking for some fish when a voice said, “You won’t find any fish under there.” The Eskimo just ignored it and carried on tapping. Again, the voice echoed saying, ‘You won’t find any fish under there.” The Eskimo shouted, “Who are you, God?” and the voice replied. ‘No, the ice rink manager.”

The jet stream usually rushes rapidly from west to east in a mostly straight direction. But lately it’s been wobbling and weaving like Mel Gibson behind the wheel, wreaking havoc as it goes. The more the jet stream moves north and south, the more changeable and extreme the weather, thus giving Weather Channel personnel a reason to grow and smile.

The extreme weather continued in May, as early California wildfires fueled by the Miami Heat contrasted with more than a foot of snow in Minnesota. One day Seattle was the hottest spot in the country, while Maine and Edmonton, Canada, were warmer than Miami and Phoenix. This is what we refer to in the business to as thermometers gone wild. And speaking of which, if you were in Death Valley over the weekend, where temperatures hovered around 130, give me a call.

The fun and games continue as the winter of 2011-12 produced little snow while 2012-13 was chocolate blizzard city. A French dip in the jet stream and high pressure caused Superstorm Sandy to left turn and smack into New Jersey, a maneuver so rare and unusual as that happens once every 714 years, depending on traffic on the George Washington Bridge.

But when it comes to weather extremes, tornadoes take the cake and the ice cream. Over a recent 12-month period, the nation experienced a record 1,050 tornadoes. That was followed by a 12 month period where there was a record low for these killer twisters. But there’s no need to panic. It’s just the jet stream playing mind games. Or in the words of Mark Twain, “Everybody talks about the weather but no one does anything about it.”

Moving along, last Sunday the biggest moon of the year rose over Monterey Bay. But unless you were a pilot or wearing infrared night googles, you wouldn’t have been able to see this supermoon from the westside because of cloud cover. So today I’m showcasing my favorite harvest moon rising. This blessed event took place back in January of 2009. I was shooting from the cliffs at Cowells Beach across from the Municipal Wharf. Surfers were out in force as the late sun was lighting up the water. When that glowing orange sphere peaked up over the mountain, it was quite a rush. Just another fantastic night on Monterey Bay.

I’ll end our lunar discussion with this. Two guys were walking home from a bar. One says to the other, “What a beautiful night, look at the moon.” The other replied, “You’re wrong, that’s not the moon, that’s the sun.” They start arguing until they come upon a drunk walking in the other direction. They stop him and said, “Sir, could you please settle an argument? Tell us what that is up in the sky that’s shining, is it the moon or the sun?” The drunk look at the sky and then looked at them at said, ‘Sorry, I don’t live around here.”

On to some late night humor. “NSA leaker Edward Snowden somehow managed to get out of the U.S. with all their information. Now where is he? He’s in Russia now, going to be in Ecuador or wherever. He remains at large. Now what are the odds out of 350 million Americans, the only one the government wasn’t watching was him? In the middle of all these scandals, President Obama got some good news today. The IRS ruled that he can write off the first half of his second term as a total loss.

“President Obama gave a big speech on climate change. He believes global warming is getting worse because apparently he’s sweating a lot more during his second term. Yesterday, the Supreme Court opened the door for same-sex marriage to resume in California. Apparently, the judges were really swayed by that Liberace movie. Tourism officials in Paris have launched a campaign to make Paris friendlier to tourists. First step? Kick out the French.” – Jay Leno

“You folks know anything about climate change? I used to know a little bit about it but I don’t care anymore. There’s nothing we can do about it. But on the bright side, I’ve got a closet full of short-sleeved shirts I don’t otherwise get to wear.” – David Letterman “Kanye West and Kim Kardashian have named their newborn girl North West. The baby was named after the direction in which it will try to escape.” -Conan O’Brien “It was just announced that Kim Kardashian and Kanye West have named their daughter North West. Or as Southwest Airlines put it, “Please don’t have a second child.” – Jimmy Fallon

So that’s our final blast for June 2013. Time continues to go by faster than I can change channels. We’ll catch you showing basketball fans what good TV theatre was all about on the night of NBA draft. Aloha, mahalo and later, David Stern fans.

Good morning and greetings, Super Tuesday fans. Last week was a wild one, with killer tornadoes blasting through from Great Lakes to the Gulf Coast, Republican hopefuls Romney and Santorum blasting each other in the press and the tragic high school shootings in Ohio. Thank goodness things are going well in Afghanistan. So with all this devastation, I thought I would go with something light and fluffly this week, like a cheese souffle or a Sarah Palin foreign policy briefing.

While surfing the internet looking for information about why certain blogs don’t go viral, I came across www.blogspot.com and went right to the believe it or not section. So in the words of Micky Dolenz, with background vocals by the recently departed Davey Jones, “I’m in love, I’m a believer, I couldn’t leave this site if I tried.”

So here are some facts that you may not have known and may well wish to quickly forget. A crocodile cannot stick out its tongue, so it’s always an embarrassing situation when the veterinarian says, “Stick out your tongue and say ahh.” A snail can sleep for three years without having to once get up to go to the bathroom. A pig’s orgasm lasts for 30 minutes. Damn right I’m envious.

All polar bears are left-handed, whereas on the average, right-handed people live nine years longer than left-handed people do, especially if they’re not being chased by polar bears. In 1987, American Airlines saved $40,000 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first-class. And that’s why I have to beg for an extra bag of mini-pretzels in coach. On average Americans eat 18 acres of pizza every day while drinking enough soda to refill the Mediterranean Sea.

Babies are born without knee caps, which don’t appear until the child reaches two to six years of age or the power button on the TV set. Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. You can’t kill yourself by holding your breath, but you might want to if you’re a woman and Rick Santorum is the Republican nominee in November.

China has more English speakers than Bose and the United States. Donald Duck comics were banned in Finland because he doesn’t wear pants. Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors. Which reminds me of the old Three Stooges line, “You go Uruguay, I’ll go my way.”

Elephants and white men are the only animals that can’t jump. Every time you lick a stamp, you’re consuming 1/10 of a calorie. Which brings to mind the time Jay Leno asked Richard Simmons the cost of a Barbara Streisand stamp they were selling at her Las Vegas concert. Simmons said, “$75.” Leno replied, “For $75, that stamp should lick me.”

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. However, humans are the only ones that have to pay for it. “I am.” is the shortest complete sentence in the English language followed by the most commonly used, “Not now, I have a headache.” If Barbie were life-size, her measurements would be 39-23-33. I’m not even going to talk about Ken.

If the population of China walked past you in single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction, which is also why you’re hungry an hour later after eating Chinese food. In ancient Egypt, priests plucked every hair from their bodies, including their eyebrows and eyelashes, which led to last year’s protests in Tahrir Square.

It’s impossible to sneeze with your eyes open. Go ahead, try it. Women blink nearly twice as much as men, but men are better at winking. Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors. Picasso invented the hot comb. Marilyn Monroe had six toes and the Kennedys. Charlotte team owner Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than all of the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined. Despite this, his Bobcats are the worst team in the NBA.

More people are killed by donkeys annually than are killed in plane crashes. What an asinine thought. No word in the English language rhymes with month. One of the reasons marijuana is illegal today is because in the ’30’s cotton growers lobbied against hemp farmers as they saw it as competition. Thus the derivation of the term “cotton balls.” Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older, and none will drive after 112.

Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose, ears and fears never stop growing. Some lions mate over 50 times a day, thus deserving the title of king of the jungle and luckiest animal alive. Starfish and Tea Party members haven’t got brains. The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds, which is why they like to order off the menu.

Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand, followed by “What would you like to drink?” The sentence, “The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog” uses every letter in the English language. The word racecar and kayak are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left. And dog spelled backwards is God. And that is why they are considered man’s best friend after the remote control.

The electric chair was invented by a dentist. Why does this not surprise me? The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male’s head off. That is some wild foreplay.

The most common name in the world is Mohammed, followed my Connor, Madison and Dakota. The shortest war in history was between Zanzibar and England in 1896. Zanzibar surrendered after 38 minutes when it remembered it was an archipelago.

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue, followed by the libido. The word “lethologica” describes the state of not being able to remember the word you want, which I am all too familiar with. And finally, you share your birthday with at least nine million other people in the world. Now don’t you feel special?

For today’s photo entree we are heading over to Natural Bridges State Beach on the night of February 21. The sky showed some major potential as the sun headed towards the horizon. As you can see, it turned out to be well worth the digital trip down to sea level. Unlike tornado season, which usually runs from spring through fall, it looks like the spectacular sunrises and sunsets are pretty much done for a while. Fortunately, I have my memories and more importantly, the jpegs.

On to the late night. “As of today, Rick Santorum will be assigned Secret Service agents. This is the first time Santorum has agreed to use any kind of protection.” –Conan O’Brien “Rick Santorum is claiming that Mitt Romney and Ron Paul have teamed up against him. Which is kind of ironic — that Santorum can be brought down by two men forming a civil union.” –Jay Leno “The latest polls show Romney and Rick Santorum neck and neck. Not to be confused with Newt Gingrich, who is shown in the polls as chin to chin.” –David Letterman

“Rick Santorum is saying the kids that go to college are snobs. Rick Santorum has a new program for children. It’s called Every Child Left Behind. Rick Santorum thinks that global warming, climate change, is a hoax. Let me ask you something, Rick. If you think global warming and climate change is a hoax, how do you explain those sleeveless sweaters?” –David Letterman “Rick Santorum released his tax returns this week, and under withholding he wrote oral sex.” –Bill Maher

“Tomorrow is leap day. This is something that only happens once every four years. Or as Newt Gingrich calls that, a sit-up. In yesterday’s Michigan primary, Newt Gingrich actually came in fourth place. Or as the ice cream in his freezer put it, it’s gonna be a long night. “It was a tough game for the New York Knicks last night. Jeremy Lin went just 1-for-11 in their loss to Miami. Only 1 success out of 11 attempts — or as Newt Gingrich calls that, ‘primary season.’” –Jimmy Fallon

“Mitt Romney has accused Rick Santorum of saying outrageous things just so Santorum can appeal to the most extreme voters. Santorum denied this and said, ‘That’s exactly the kind of misrepresentation I’d expect from gay abortion doctor Mitt Romney.’” –Conan O’Brien “Bob Morris, a state lawmaker from Fort Wayne, Ind., has decided not to support a proposal to celebrate the 100th anniversary of the Girl Scouts. He believes the Girl Scouts is a, quote, ‘radicalized organization that supports homosexuality and abortion.’ I’m all for freedom of speech, but that kind of talk might get you picked as Rick Santorum’s running mate.” –Jimmy Kimmel

“Rick, I’m sorry that hearing that JFK speech on religion makes you throw up. But if it makes you feel any better, if JFK were alive today, knowing you were running for President would make him s**t his pants.” –Jon Stewart “Yeah, what a snob. Obama thinks everybody should go to college like he did. Some of us weren’t handed a ticket to Harvard by being the biracial son of a single mother on food stamps. Must be nice.” –Stephen Colbert on Rick Santorum calling Obama a snob for suggesting that kids should go to college.

So that’s our entree into March madness. And regarding the answer to yesterday’s Daily Double question on Jeopardy, “Who’s birthday is it today?” Well, the answer would be my former NBA basketball correspondent from my sportstalk radio days, Robert Hall, who was as unselfish with the microphone as he was with the rock. This is a man who has a CD of every concert ever recorded since George Washington sat in with the Doobie Brothers.

You might want to take a moment and be thankful you’re not living in tornado alley, as last Friday was a horrific one for our nation. It was a day of stunning destruction that left folks shaken and broken.

We’ll catch you putting on a spectacular show on national TV. Aloha, mahalo and later, Rajon Rondo fans.

Good morning and greetings, tropical storm fans. What is it with the national weather picture? If you’re keeping a scorecard at home, the weather across our nation has been wackier in 2011 than the statements coming out of the mouth of Texas Governor Rick Perry.

It has been a year of extreme conditions in the USA, with killer tornadoes, paralyzing blizzards, unrelenting triple digit heat, record-setting drought, massive flooding, raging wildfires, unusual earthquakes and most significantly, the Yankees having the second-best record in baseball with just one proven starting pitcher.

In an article written by Associated Press Science writer Seth Borenstein, he states that total weather losses so far for the year top $35 billion and 25 cents, and that’s not counting Hurricane Irene, Tropical Storm Lee or the upcoming NBA lockout. This is not to say that the rest of the world has been having a picnic in 2011, as there was the horrific earthquake and tsunami in Japan, major flooding in Australia, the devastating drought in Africa and the bring your guns to home and work program sponsored by the Mexican drug cartels.

And as Andrew Luck would have it, we’re right in the middle of September, when hurricanes and pro football take center stage. In the first six months of 2011, there were 98 natural disasters in the United States, not to mention the current field of Republican presidential candidates. That is double the average of the 1990’s, which doesn’t include the Columbine school massacre, the O.J .Simpson murder trial and “Beverly Hills 90210.”

Then there’s the unforgiving, relentless, sweltering heat that has been massacring the southwestern states. Tens of thousands of daily weather CD’s and records, including most consecutive mornings on West Cliff Drive without seeing the sun, have been broken or tied. Nearly 1,000 all-time records have been set, with most of them heat or rain, or in the supreme words of Diana Ross, “No wind, no rain, nor winter storms, can stop me babe, oh babe.”

This has also been the hottest summer in Texas history. How hot has it been? It was so hot, Tim Duncan saw an Amish guy buying an air conditioner. More records have been broken than at my high school graduation party. The word scorching doesn’t begin to describe it or Dirk Nowitzki’s outside shooting in the NBA Finals.

The Lone Star state has also experienced it’s worst fire season in history, with over 3.5 million acres burned to go along with it’s driest one year period ever. The stars at night may be big and bright, but it’s been a blazing inferno deep in the heart of Texas. And if that weren’t enough, in July, Oklahoma went into the books as America’s hottest month by any state in recorded history. And this doesn’t include Timothy McVeigh burning in hell.

One of the most troubling aspects of the extreme heat is the record-high nighttime temperatures. It may cool off at night here on the central coast, but a good part of the nation gets treated to the relaxing in an oven experience. The evening highs shows that the country isn’t cooling off at all in the evening, which is what the crops, the human body and my night nurses need.

So why in the wide, wide world of sports do I bring this up? Because here in Santa Cruz, instead of percolating in the heat, we’re still waiting for things to warm up. We had one day last week that I would describe as Indian summer, as the rest of the week was more like August fog mode. Now I’m not complaining, as I’ll take the fog and clouds any day over sweltering heat, but if it warmed up a tad and the sky turned blue before Oprah comes on in the afternoon, Steadman and I wouldn’t be upset.

For today’s photo relay we are going vertical, with three waterfall shots followed by three from the rainbow files from the Garden Isle. The first photo is Wailau Falls, followed by a brilliant red clay waterfall that I shot on the road to Waimea Canyon. The next are cascading waterfalls from after a rain on the mountains that form the backdrop to the town of Hanalei. This was the view from my bedroom on the north shore of Kauai along with an box of Mauna Loa chocolate covered macadamia nuts. It was a tremendous place to quietly read and sob in silence.

We finish up with some vivid Hanalei rainbow moments. According to my lunar calendar, we have one more week’s worth of South Pacific photos before returning to local action, so sunrises, sunsets and more of my fascinating life story are on the way.

On to the late night. “The Republican presidential candidates will have a debate at the Reagan Library. They were going to have it at the George W. Bush Library but they couldn’t fit all eight of them in the bouncy house. The oil industry said if they were allowed to drill more, they could create over a million new jobs. Of course most of those jobs would be cleaning oil off ducks. In Iowa Sarah Palin ran a half marathon and came in second place. Of course no one saw her do it, because she refused to tell anyone she was running.” –Conan O’Brien

“A town in Arizona wants to have its own version of Spain’s running of the bulls. Right. If there’s one thing Arizona is missing it’s thousands of Spanish-speaking people running for their lives.” Apparently, Mitt Romney is planning to build a huge addition onto his beach house in California. And here’s the cool part: They’re using the same wood that they used to build Mitt Romney. A woman in Alaska punched a bear in the face after it threatened her dog Or as Sarah Palin put it, ‘Teach me, sensei.'” –Jimmy Fallon

“‘The White House agreed to move President Obama’s speech from Wednesday to Thursday because the Republicans have a debate scheduled for Wednesday. So the debate that no one is going to watch holds more weight than the speech no one is going to believe. “Michele Bachmann said that if she is elected president, she would consider eliminating the Department of Education because ‘the states could do a gooder job.’ “A New Mexico state trooper in full uniform was caught having sex with a woman on the hood of her car. She was so drunk that halfway through she said, “Hey, that’s not a Breathalyzer!” –Jay Leno

That’s our national weather report. So enjoy the last full week of summer and the start of the new fall TV season.
We’ll catch you banging winners from the baseline. Aloha, mahalo and later, Brooklyn Decker fans.